Step back?

My husband is a porn addict. He beats it slow, but steady. Until now. He does m sometimes without p (about once a week) and tries to reduce it.

Now he was sick. He always told me that m during being sick feels like removing viruses through the nose and that sperm feels than different and he definitely wouldn't want that sperm to get near me. Fair enough, don't have any problems with it. But he said now he m to p. And wasn't really going to say it to me and doesn't want to count it as relapse.
He is honest and I know he doesn't lie to me asked a question.
He didn't watch p for months now. He states that normally he watches when he feels stressed, frustrated, etc. I know the triggers but it isn't the case when he is sick, he was just sick and we wouldn't have sex anyway and he wouldn't be useful for anything anywhere and as it's nothing that was caused by triggers and hence no relapse there is no need of telling me, because he doesn't need my support for it. Oh, and that's not cheating. I know I can't convince him overwise, about the last he is constant.

I'm really puzzled by this behaviour and have no idea how can I deal with it.

 

No, he isn't desensitized. It is not that he doesn't gets off, or doesn't have pleasure. It doesn't make him happy, he gets pleasure during but it steals him energy and he is nervous and feel lost few hours after (not direct afterwards). And it oddly wasn't the case as he did pmo regularly. We're working on it, he also makes effort.
But it is not the problem I wanted to adress. It's that it's not a relapse relapse mindset.

 

Yeah, easy to say to SO... He refuses and probably isn't capable to do so. The soft reboot takes long and it's not the best thing but it moves forward and it's not like I can change it. Just forget the first part it doesn't really matter.
Still the question for me is about not a relapse relapse and what can I do about it.

 

I've edited now and depicted clearer what the issue is. We've agreed before that watching porn is relapse and should be told and suddenly he makes exception and doesn't feel guilty about it.

 

Thank you all. He didn't make excuses until now, so actually no excuses for porn for 7-8 months and that is new. I think it made him wonder when I told him, that he rationalize, and at least he admitted, that he promised to tell me every time and didn't keep the word and that's bad and won't happen again. Although in his heart and mind it still wasn't a relapse. But I think my words made him wonder.

PS I read w bit and spermatozoa loose his waves when you have an Influenza and so sperm is a bit different. He told me that long before all the journey and I don't see why shouldn't I believe it. Also the virus was found in the hoods in the sperm, but not in sperm afterwards. People feel different things.