How did you guys find your 'Why'?

Don't feel bad about it. It's a very difficult question to answer to yourself, especially if you don't suffer from side effects (yet). I needed to "crash and burn" (PIED, divorce, job loss, chronical anxiety/depression) to find good enough reasons why I need to change. I'd say don't follow the steps of us who have fallen this deep into the rabbit hole. I'm not saying you will but this shit progresses in many cases to the described dept. It can literally ruin your life. Also you've got to ask yourself why did you fall into addiction in the first place. There must be some underlying issue causing you discomfort/pain you try to elevate/numb by your "drug of choice", there almost always is. If you know what it is, try to address it if not ask your counselor to help you identify it. From my personal experience, it is very difficult if not impossible to break out of addiction cycle without starting to address underlying problem that led you to addiction.

 

Like any other addiction your why can be that the addiction is making your life miserable and unmanageable in some way. It can be that you want to have the best possible life. And nobody is going to have the best possible life with an addiction running in the background like a computer virus. When I was younger I used to struggle with self confidence issues as well. Many, many men do. Kudos to being in counseling at 22 and facing this head on.

 

I was bored. I still am.

 

My why is that P was holding me back from what I really wanted to do - write - and I wasting too much time PM.

 

Heartbreak, failure, Heartbreak, failure.

Its a good thing Christ's strength is made perfect in my weakness, that much I will tell you

 

Your counselor is completely right, i have PIED, i love my SO more than anything in this world and it's really easy for me to quit porn honestly. 0 relapses after i found out about this, i hate porn more than anything else in my life. It's been 50+ days since no PMO but I'm counting just to see how much I'm improving, i won't ever watch porn again. I quit smoking just before this. I was a severe addict, almost about 3-4 dozens/day. But it's been a year i haven't smoked a single cigarette. With the right and strong reason, you have a lot on the line and you won't lose no matter what, you can't! Find your reason, it helps a lot!

 

As Fenix Rising says, your motivation can just as well be that you dont want to end up dragging your life through shit because of PMO if you havent already. Severe PIED and the tragic situations it causes, depression, social issues etc. is where it will end if you don´t stop. And the paradox is that the worse the consequences become, the harder it is to quit. You are wiring yourself for PMO and when your life turns to shit, the brain wants the dopamin high even more to escape for a moment.

 

To answer this question we must go a few years back.

The date was February 11, 2016. I was a 12 year old idiot in the 7th grade. I was an obnoxious goofball but lately that had been changing. My libido had been slowly increasing throughout the school year, as my puberty years definitely peaked in the 7th grade (early bloomer gang). I had been touching myself for years but it wasn’t until February 11 that something came out. That’s when I really started masturbating.

Now, flash forward 9 months to November 23, 2016. I was now 13, and a slightly quieter idiot. I had friends but they were all different than me and I felt out of place. I had a masturbation problem for age 13. I masturbated far too often, the amount I went at it may be normal for my age now but not that young. I began to dabble in porn, and I knew how bad that was so I decided that I needed to quit. I needed an excuse. The next day was Thanksgiving, and that was the day our Elf On The Shelf always came. I had known that Santa wasn’t real for like 2 years by that point but it still didn’t matter. I figured there was a 1 in 10000 chance that the elf was actually real and watching me. So I decided to quit pmo for the holidays, which was Thanksgiving Day to Christmas Day, which was I believe 32 days that year. So I did. I quit porn for the holidays and eventually for good. I couldn’t stop masturbating though so I set a goal of every other day for the holidays. I passed. It was big for me.

After Christmas that year the 99.99% certainty that Santa wasn’t real became 100%, but when I was 14 I went and did it again, but this time every third day, I passed. At age 15 the goal was every fourth day but I failed due to my depressed and paranoid state at that time. This year would have been every fifth day but by age 16 my libido is too high for that goal I’ll go bonkers.

Here are my results for all the years:

Age 13: 16 times in 32 days (11/24-12/25) Goal: 16

Age 14: 11 times in 33 days (11/23-12/25) Goal: 11

Age 15: 30 times in 34 days
(11/22-12/25) Goal: 8

Age 16: ?? times in 28 days
(11/28-12/25) Goal: 12-22??

 

I guess my "Why?" was simple. Health benefits. See, I had asthma before. I was a heavy smoker, and sports were not something I liked. I could barely run 1km without having asthma attack. Had a lung problem to be more precise. So when I quit smoking I could run 10km and all that felt tired were my legs. Lungs were okay. So you see... If quitting smoking can make this happen, sexual energy can get me higher and further even more.
Of course, time. Time is precious. Really precious. I'm doing my best now to enjoy every second of my life. And I pretty much do! Gym has become my second home and energy is different.
Also just the fact that I might become a gray, useless piece of meat just was not okay. I always have wanted to be the best. Not like in terms of big ego, when I'm like "Hey I don't give about shit about effort of yours, I'm just better" and blah blah blah. No, I want to put in a lots of work into my workout to see me succeed. Whenever I play sports, I want to play with charisma, whenever I talk to people I want to talk in specific way. I don't want to sound boring or look boring. And I don't think that porn addiction would help me with it.
Just... A lots of reasons. Just why not? Why should I spend my time watching it? Why?