Porn Addiction without mastarbation? Is this a lie?

Yea, I appreciate that..with 3 kids, it's mainly night times for us or if they're at school and I have day off work.

You say you had 5? I can't even fathom that!!
Amazing you still have high sex drive, a lot of Mums wouldn't I don't think.

It's great you're taking steps to do something about it, it seems your husband's p0rn is getting in the way. What I can't understand is why he won't watch it with you? Unless he is really shy...

 

Sad to hear , you gotta make sure you look after yourself too! Eating, sleep, etc.

I have been on those middle of the night binges myself, but only when I used to get rejected by my wife, or if I was feeling really horny. It's not a good trap to get into, because I found if she didn't want sex for a few days I'd PMO even more than usual, and feel isolated for a while. I also think the stimulation porn gives is completely different to real sex, it's based on visuals/pixels as opposed to touch, taste, etc and I think it taps into a different section of the brain. Men are visual creatures anyway, hence why we like our women dressing up, etc.

It just trying to make that transfer from being involved in a screen to what's happening in the moment in your partner, some men might struggle with this.

 

Still the Q
Why he watches P if no erection
What kind of problem could make a man do that
Why he still chooses such option if he"s fine in sexual life with u
I can"t figure it out

 

Count me as a wife that has always had a high sex drive and was nearly always available to my husband. Yet he consistently rejected me for porn and masturbation for nearly 20 years. It's very real.

 

Wow! Just seems unfathomable to me, haha but I'm not gonna moan as my wife did a U Turn and came onto me in the bath last night and we had amazing sex, I just wish she initiated it more often, and had as high sex drive as me.

 

I will say that even a low drive spouse is not a reason to seek sexual pleasure elsewhere. One must take responsibility for his own actions and the blame for seeking sexual pleasure outside of your marriage bed can only be placed on the one acting out. As I mentioned, I was rejected for 2 decades and did not step out on my husband with porn, masturbation, or any other sexual pleasure to make up for what he withheld. For me to have done that and then said it was because he rejected me would be me blaming him for my choices. What I chose to do in that situation had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.

 

Wow, I salute you for your loyalty in that situation! An admirable quality, so he didn't touch you for two whole decades? That is an awfully long time to go without! But at least you stuck it out during that time, I know a lot of people wouldn't have managed.

 

It is very common for porn addicts to click around and forward to the 'good parts'. They aren't looking for any substance, just the juicy bits that get them aroused. Him blaming you and refusing responsibility is called gaslighting. He will not be able to have a truly connected sex life with you if he cannot take responsibility for his own actions and take necessary steps to begin recovery. This has nothing to do with what you do and don't do for him.

 

No, it was not celibacy, but it could be very long periods of time and there was often little to no connection. I didn't bring up my situation to pat myself on the back, but to point out that a person's actions lie solely with them, no one else. Your seeking out porn was not because your wife couldn't keep up with your drive. It was because you made a conscious decision to allow your libido to think for you. My husband's decision to seek out porn was not because I'm not good enough, it was because he made a conscious decision to use porn. In both scenarios the responsibility for choosing porn lies completely with the addict.

 

Yes, I think you're right. I should have given up porn when I got with my wife, it was like a bad habit I carried on.
We've been together for 10 years and had loads of great sex, and 3 awesome kids out of it all but for some reason PMO remained.

I think it's purely habitual tbh, we carry these things on, sometimes not even conscious of the damage they cause, to ourselves and others. I thought it was normal for men for masterbate to porn 4-5 times a day, as well as sex. I didn't bat an eyelid against it.

It was only when I noticed I got (minor) PIED issues this year and I found this site I knew I was in trouble. I also noticed the last few years my PMO use was getting out of control, like I was doing it every spare moment alone. That is scary!

 

I think this is the case for many. Good luck on your journey.

 

Thank you, and yourself! X

 

What's the longest you could go without sex?

And also, did you guys not enjoy pregnant sex?

 

Yes, still married. He's working very hard on his recovery and has been for a couple of years now.