....pop goes the miracle. PMOd again last night. Do you find that? On the verge of a victory the enemy often snatches it away just the last minute (if you let him!). Need to gird up the loins again today (what ever that means). The snowball effect is occurring. Need to get serious abouty recovery in this area and be prepared to accept there is no gain without some pain. Reset counter.
Our family internet is pretty secure and only my wife administrates. The main places I can go are YouTube and bing search, which on 'video' setting gives me 30sec clips of anything. That's all my porn brain lives off these days. I am not that clever with tech. Maybe there's a way to block bing specifically through administrator? Will look into it.
I know about Bing's issues. I use accountability software and have any searches on YT or bing.com (as well as many others) set to alert my APs. A very helpful deterrent to steer clear! Let me know if you're ever interested in joining the accountability squad. If you want to be free, you must starve the mind of this junk. Even a little is enough to keep it alive, like a vampire living off rats in the sewer. Better by far to simply drive a stake through its heart once and for all!
Thanks Tao. Very solid advice and I agree with it entirely. Will think over the software. Had it before about 5 years ago. The yearly subscription ran out and I didn't follow up. I totally get and agree with the principal of total starvation on this. 90 days from now would be the AJ vs Ruiz heavyweight fight on Dec 7th, which gives me a clear something to aim for. Will go again. Would you recommend covenant eyes?
I have surveyed all the options out there and have never found anything better than Accountable2You. That is what I have used now for years.
Went to GP today and started on Sertraline 50mg. Never been on antidepressants before but have been a community mental health nurse for 22 years! One side effect can be loss of libido (lol).
Anchor point summary Concerning NoFap: *Get spiritual director. *Explore accountable 2U. *Zero tolerance (no p-subs). * Use Nofap site regularly. *Accept hardship as a pathway to peace. Concerning mental health: * Celebrate victories (no PMO, no alcohol all year). * Take Sertraline * Spend the with God * Don't hide but invest in relationships. * Don't listen to myself, but talk (preach the truth) to myself. * Exercise * SLEEP!
Been bit of a while since I did a post. I managed 16 days no PMO. Since then P been worse but no M or O. Looking at my last post here, I have actioned getting a spiritual director. My mood is not asbad as it was. Perhaps I am using this chemical lift to justify getting away with looking at P (increased serotonin will cover any resulting guilty bad mood??!). Also, recent sucesses can give me another excuse to fall off the wagon for a bit. The choice is to decieve myself into sin....
Been a while since I have posted anything. That's because I have been busy ignoring God and sinning instead. What an idiot. Strange, but I have been looking at short porn clips on bing but not masturbating to it really at all really. But then the last week I slipped up and visited a Thai massage place and today a sauna.
Need to go back to zero tolerance again. I have managed to get a spiritual director though who I should meet soon for first time which will be good for accountability.
Glad to see you back. I definitely recommend one-on-one accountability with someone everyday. Hope you will start that soon.
The end of the year is always a hard time for me behavior wise. Having visted illicit places (spas, parlors etc) 30 times in 2018, I have visited them 13 times in 2019. Have also masturbated to porn about 25% less too. Progress not perfection. But I need to do better. In denial and avoident of nofap. Who am I kidding?
