Been 10 months, PIED won't go away...

Hello everybody.
I realized something's wrong with me when I married 1.5 years ago. Basically I couldn't ejaculate through sexual intercourse and experience ED.
I had been involving in watching P lots of times a week since 13 or 14 I don't remember.
So I started NoFap in February, 2019.
I haven't watched even a second of P since.
Although I M and O'ed a few times in this period just to try it without P and fantasies, no problem at all.
And I watched some sensual videos (not P though) and looked at naked girls for a few months. I didn't know it was bad for my situation, when I learned, I quit instantly.
I've been able to ejaculate normally just twice. First, I ejaculated fantasizing about my wife's friend. At the second time, it's so shameful but, fantasizing her mom.
I mean I feel like cursed. I can not get fantasizing, dreaming about situations that will never happen in real life out of my mind. When I'm having sex, my mind always get those pictures into my brain. I can't focus, thus I experience ED.
Still, looking at naked women and fantasizing make me so excited that, I can hear my heart pumping fast. But in real sex, I just feel anxiety and sad memories. Can't get out of this loop.
In spite of the benefits of NoFap, I still experience PIED intensely. Altough I can get it up before the intercourse, I lose it in a few minutes. I don't know what to do. It's been 10 months since I haven't looked at P.
I'm really sad.

 

Past a few days have been great! I don't feel like relying on fantasies, I don't see women as objects and I feel much more love for my wife. Had a really nice sex yesterday. I didn't ejaculate but I was really close! I have hope now. NoFap sometimes makes me depressed, but that goes away quickly. No problems.

 

Thank you very much for your time. You have no idea how much I appreciate this