My Neighbors are getting Divorced

But your counter says 65 days porn free?

 

Get it together Not for you or your wife but for your child

 

You say your not thinking not ever plan to have an affair but have an escort problem? Um , what do you think an affair is because you are clearly having one with escorts?

 

No, an affair is usually understood as a sexual encounters outside of your marriage. A one night stand is still an affair, seriously I think for most women they might move past an affair, but paying escorts? That’s an even bigger affront to me, not only the exposure to std’s, but using our money? Maybe ask your wife what she thinks, she may agree with you.

 

@Veritech. I hope you don't mind but I went back through some of your old posts to see what you've been writing about. It seems as though you have been on nofap since 2016 and that you discussed using escorts back then as well. I was struck by how often you would "relapse" (generally around the time of your wives period) and I wonder if you have ever had a discussion with your wife about your porn addiction? I haven't read all of your posts but from what I could see many did not include discussions with her.

My point being that I'm not sure you ever will be able to be free,or truly,in your words, "sober" if you can't/won't tell her about this addiction. I'm guessing that you are afraid of what might happen if you do, but if you love your wife (as I'm sure you do) then how/why would you keep something like this from her?

I can only really just say "Yikes" to that. I try to be as understanding as possible to everyone's stories on here but I do think that perhaps you are rationalizing the escort situation by comforting yourself with saying it isn't an "affair". I can see what you are saying about it not having the same implication as having a sexual and emotional relationship with another person outside of your marriage, but I would think that most people would agree that it is cheating on your spouse..at the VERY least. Call it whatever you want, it's not good.

I'm sad that you feel you have to lie so much and that you feel you have to "protect" your addiction...you used the word "protect" 3 times when discussing your phone. 3 years..almost 4 on nofap, what do you think you've learned? Just that you need to "protect" your phone so your wife and family don't find out your secret? Must be a sad and lonely way to live.

 

I'm confused. What are you sober from, exactly?

 

I am not missing your point at all. I see exactly what you are saying.

I asked for clarification on what you are sober from because I didnt want to make any assumptions before I replied. Some people are only working on one thing at a time instead of everything at once. Your response was making an assumption about my question.

It is great to see your progress, and you should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished so far. However, you are still lying to your wife (and yourself) and severely damaging your marriage with your actions, locked down phone or not. There is a huge danger in the addict thinking of, "At least I'm not as bad as that guy," and leads one into a false sense of security.

I'm sorry for your neighbor and wish you luck on your continued journey.

 

My dad did the same thing. My parents are not divorsed but things will never be the same.

 

Keep going

 

Bro, you're married. Why are you PMOing? What is it that the PMO is helping you numb? We do it to numb pain and things like that. What are u running from? Identify it and work on it. I used to PMO a lot back when I was taking a very intense/hard course in school. Only when I realized I wasn't ready for it and dropped out of that class did I stop PMOing. Sometimes, you need to make a change. Is it your career? Is it your woman? What's going on that you keep escaping into the dark tunnels of Porn/Mo?