35 and older accountability, Group 2

Thanks brother - its fun to do this

 

I have read the rules and would like to join the group

 

I slipped today. I had unsatisfying sex with my wife last night. Today felt blah and lethargic. Ate fast food. Was relaxing watching tv and triggered by a scene. Was off to the races with no second thought. I was angry at my wife while I was doing it for being overweight and not making the efforts often enough to be sexy. Selfish I know.

 

Hey man - we all have been there, it takes courage to come and admit this and i honor you for that. You are still in the game, the question is how long do we stay stuck or do we move forward with a new lesson.

Every lesson we learn is positive through the experiences we go through may feel negative. Watching you rock this bro


Quote by "Dan Millman" from the book Living On Purpose

 

Your advice on appreciating Ayhan the situation offers is important. I often feel that it has to meet certain criteria for it to be right: clean, good breath, shaved legs, and moderately attractive clothes.

 

Just a quick check in since i haven't in awhile. Im on day 8 after a recent reset. Im just trying to stay busy and positive and try not fuck things up anymore.
Temptation is still always lurking as I can feel when my brain is sending its unnecessary message to my member "wanting attention". I have to stay ahead and vigilant and realize that its not necessary and that there is no need for that signal to be sent.
Just like quitting smoking its all in your head.....at least for me.

 

great thank u!

 

Been doing some mindless YouTube watching lately and need to refocus. I want to be better at writing on this site and increasing my spirituality. I haven't been the best at either of those.

 

Slipped again last night. May have to avoid coming home tonight until my wife is home because with work stress, I’m too vulnerable to PMO when I’m alone in evenings.

 

I will make a brief summary of the last days:

D86 (Saturday). In the morning I prepared my class that I will give on Tuesday (Effective Call). My brother again showed signs of his undiagnosed mental illness. Now he has persecutory delusions. I tried to reason with him, he insulted me, then he apologized, anyway ... it's not easy to deal with someone like that. I hope he accepts, someday, the help God wants to give him.
In the afternoon I was in the nursing home, visiting the grandparents and bringing them a word of hope. I already compressed myself with a grandmother to bring wool on my next visit.
Then, I was at the party of the youth gathering of my Church. I could stand out by winning a basketball game (miracle of God), and after eating, I made several puzzles for them. I felt in glory.

D87 (Sunday). Studied. In the Church I participated in the rehearsal of the play (nobody made fun of this time) and with the choir.

D88 (Monday). In the morning I worked. At home I studied. I was very tired all day, but I struggled to do my homework.

D89 (Tuesday). In the morning I was studying for my exam and I received a call from my job with something urgent. That altered my plans, and I had to stop studying. I was late for the exam but they let me do it. I think I did well ... God will say. What matters most to me in that class is to have planted the seed of faith in my classmates and in the teacher.
In the afternoon, I gave my class (Effective Call). I had a new student (the husband of one of my students). Thank God that the men of my Church are being encouraged to come to my classes ... but God bless the women, who are the first to support the ministries.

D90 (Today). In the morning I advanced with work. Then, at my house, I took a nap. When I woke up, I was studying for my next class (Glorification). That will be the last class for this year. Next year we will start with Christology.

 

I messed up yesterday, I had too much time on my hands and PMO, so put me back at 0 days. 1 day will be tomorrow back on track. I hope you guys are doing well!

 

I completed a month.
My previous best all my life was 9 days.
I feel a sense of freedom that now I don't use my time in wasteful and injurious way.

 

Yay! Sweet man great job! I agree i feel the same

 

What helps me is to journal about each relapse and try to learn one thing from it, and then try again, I have a masterbation journal and it gives me a sense of perspective.

keep getting back up brother

 

Your still in the arena brother keep eyes on the vision and try again - you are bound to be successful.

One of the best advice i got is ONE DAY at a time. Just love it.

 

Today was one clean day. I did some work and realized that I had some deep fears about losing my job and that runs deep for me because I was also abandoned as a child and I fear being abandoned again and also being trapped in an unhappy life.