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The Destroyer of Intimacy

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Jackstack69, Dec 12, 2019.

  1. Dec 12, 2019 #1
    Jackstack69

    Jackstack69 New Fapstronaut

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    I never thought my decisions as an early teen would affect my marriage in my 30s. The harmless late night clicks and searches have morphed into a shameful isolation with just the flick of my finger. When I am abstaining from PM my ability to be intimate with my wife flourishes. I am not just talking about my erections, or stamina or arousal level, blah blah blah. My connection is what steamrolls into a seemingly unstopable force. The intensity is surereal and everything falls into place. That is what is so ghastly about porn addiction. I can go from such a perfect place sexually and mentally, having true intimacy and connection with my wife to a state of despair in the same day. Months of work, after truly believing my safeguards and protections were strong enough to hold my demons at bay, suddenly turn to mist. It terrifies me that I am able to know what I could have, but still chose the darkness in me. When one has seemingly tried everything, where else is there to turn? Community, strength in numbers, brotherhood. This is my new tactic. I have always, until now, fought my battles alone. Now I will fight this war with you.
     
    Jackstack69, Dec 12, 2019
    Jackstack69, Dec 12, 2019
    #1
    Marshall 5, marr708, mrtumnus and 2 others like this.
  2. Dec 12, 2019 #2
    Bobske

    Bobske Fapstronaut

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    wow! great post! Thanks for sharing
    and very recognisable, but supporting evidence is good to hear
     
    Bobske, Dec 12, 2019
    Bobske, Dec 12, 2019
    #2
  3. Dec 12, 2019 #3
    King777

    King777 Fapstronaut

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    That was a mistake I've been doing for a long time... I'm glad you also discovered the truth about strength in numbers and brotherhood. It's very brave thing to realize this and it takes even more guts to accept to change yourself and work for it.
    Stay dedicated.
    You've got this special weapon in your hands now that you've been denying all the time, but you still have to use it wise to win your battle.

    I take this challenge similar with the battle between the King Theseus and the Minotaur in greek mythology. Theseus is stuck in the labyrinth (the mind) with the horny beast who's trying to kill and feed on him. I want to share with you the 5 divine rules that I've been following in my nofap journey that helps me destroy the monster. I hope you find it helpful too:

    So, what I learned so far?

    1) Accept this. You are in a battle. This is challenging and you have a problem. Masturbation addiction/Porn addiction. Say it, accept it. This is not the summary of the story. This fact is only the beginning of it. The reason. Each moment you hesitate to accept this, or even worse, denying it, the "horny" beast of the labyrinth is gonna destroy you. So stand up and keep your eyes open, grab your sword. It's time to fight.

    2) Your mood and overall serenity is the source of your strength. Whenever you feel low or unhappy, you're one step closer to fail. So, keep doing what you really like. Have a schedule. Get shit done. Get busy. Don't go to the places where you don't feel you belong. Stay away from negative people. Those faces are and places are toxic and it's killing you slowly, and once your mind and body get poisoned, you'll start to limp, then fall and the Minotaur will find you on your knees, you're an easy prey.

    3) Your house is the devils pit. Leave your house as soon as you wake up. How many time you remember masturbating outside or in public places. Those places are your safe spots where the beast almost can never approach, those are your castles, so be wise and stay wherever you are safe.

    4) No wifi and electronic devices inside the house. Minotaur likes to attack with those. These are his weapons. Oh, you hear the voice "But hey, let's be honest, you can not survive these days without wifi and your smart phone, you really don't have to go to harsh on yourself." This is Minotaur speaking; casting a spell on you. Don't listen. You need internet? Get your laptop and find a café. That simple. By this you're going harsh on yourself, instead, you're going medieval on your horny enemy.

    5) Gods are watching. And they are counting on you. They'll help you if you ask for it. So don't be afraid. You've got what it takes.

    Good Luck amigo.
     
    King777, Dec 12, 2019
    King777, Dec 12, 2019
    #3
    An Augean Goal, DMG, marr708 and 1 other person like this.

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