Day 220ish, Fighting PAWS, PIED semi cured

winningover · Dec 15, 2019

So right now, my biggest challenge is PAWS. They are killing me and from my research, they remain for 6 to 24 months depending upon how long and how much you were addicted. The improvements that I have seen until now:
1- PIED semi cured, penis sensitivity is back. I can get hard without mental simulation easily.
2- I feel a range of emotions which I have never really felt before. I never cried really for so many years and I have cried GOD knows how many times in last 6 months.
3- More time to do things. I have started reading books for the first time in my life and am looking to get into more hobbies to utilize the extra time and energy in better ways.
4- I have excelled religiously but I am not going into details about it here.

That's about it until now, but more importantly I have realized that I was truly addicted. I can see light at the end of tunnel and I have almost achieved my goal i.e. to cure PIED. I started my journey with no porn and no masturbation. If I was not married, I would have gone for hard mode. After 6 months, I asked my wife to not give me handjob etc as well so we can start intercourse as well which I feel I am almost ready for. So for last 2 months, I have been on hard mode and this is my 8 months journey until now.

The most difficult phase which I am going through right now is PAWS and I feel its not discussed too much here. The 90 day myth is not true and I feel the whole process for many who started their sexual journey on porn pixels having no prior experience of real sex can take at least a year before they start seeing real changes and benefits.

I think PAWS is also one of the main reasons for relapse esp for those who relapse after 90 days of abstinence. I will write a detailed post once I have fully cured my PIED and then once again when I feel I have recovered from PAWS. In the meanwhile, you can ask me anything you like or share your advice regarding your PAWS and how you dealt with them?

4eyedfox · Dec 15, 2019

Congratulations on your progress brother stay strong.

Fenix Rising · Dec 16, 2019

winningover said: ↑

So right now, my biggest challenge is PAWS. They are killing me and from my research, they remain for 6 to 24 months depending upon how long and how much you were addicted. The improvements that I have seen until now:
1- PIED semi cured, penis sensitivity is back. I can get hard without mental simulation easily.
2- I feel a range of emotions which I have never really felt before. I never cried really for so many years and I have cried GOD knows how many times in last 6 months.
3- More time to do things. I have started reading books for the first time in my life and am looking to get into more hobbies to utilize the extra time and energy in better ways.
4- I have excelled religiously but I am not going into details about it here.

That's about it until now, but more importantly I have realized that I was truly addicted. I can see light at the end of tunnel and I have almost achieved my goal i.e. to cure PIED. I started my journey with no porn and no masturbation. If I was not married, I would have gone for hard mode. After 6 months, I asked my wife to not give me handjob etc as well so we can start intercourse as well which I feel I am almost ready for. So for last 2 months, I have been on hard mode and this is my 8 months journey until now.

The most difficult phase which I am going through right now is PAWS and I feel its not discussed too much here. The 90 day myth is not true and I feel the whole process for many who started their sexual journey on porn pixels having no prior experience of real sex can take at least a year before they start seeing real changes and benefits.

I think PAWS is also one of the main reasons for relapse esp for those who relapse after 90 days of abstinence. I will write a detailed post once I have fully cured my PIED and then once again when I feel I have recovered from PAWS. In the meanwhile, you can ask me anything you like or share your advice regarding your PAWS and how you dealt with them?
Click to expand...

Just hold on, you're doing great. It takes time to recover. It's not so much about how long you manage to abstain. The problem is that even when you finally "defeat" your addiction, underlying reasons usually still remain intact and if they stay unsolved you will eventually relapse, develop some new form of addiction or feel miserable in the best case scenario. Addiction is usually only the upper layer of the problem covering the real reasons for addict's pain. Once these are properly addressed, addictive behavior is not necessary anymore. That's what I think is needed for sustainable long term recovery.

Suk · Dec 17, 2019

winningover said: ↑

The 90 day myth is not true and I feel the whole process for many who started their sexual journey on porn pixels having no prior experience of real sex can take at least a year before they start seeing real changes and benefits.
Click to expand...

Nope, I've been a severe addict for 4-5 years and without any sexual experience at all but i still have some good results after 74days. I have good erections now and then. I have PIED but it was not at all physical so i had morning boners always so that wasn't a progress but now when i imagine me with my SO i can get erect and maintain that. I'm not sure what the 'normal' is but I'm never relapsing so I'll find it out soon.

winningover · Dec 17, 2019

Fenix Rising said: ↑

Just hold on, you're doing great. It takes time to recover. It's not so much about how long you manage to abstain. The problem is that even when you finally "defeat" your addiction, underlying reasons usually still remain intact and if they stay unsolved you will eventually relapse, develop some new form of addiction or feel miserable in the best case scenario. Addiction is usually only the upper layer of the problem covering the real reasons for addict's pain. Once these are properly addressed, addictive behavior is not necessary anymore. That's what I think is needed for sustainable long term recovery.
Click to expand...

In my case, I can't really think of any serious underlying reasons. I think growing up as a teen when your hormones are raging, its just natural to get attracted and addicted to this ultimately. Esp when you're living in a conservative society where there aren't many ways out for real sex, porn is the perfect alternate with all its novelty and what not

Fenix Rising · Dec 17, 2019

winningover said: ↑

In my case, I can't really think of any serious underlying reasons. I think growing up as a teen when your hormones are raging, its just natural to get attracted and addicted to this ultimately. Esp when you're living in a conservative society where there aren't many ways out for real sex, porn is the perfect alternate with all its novelty and what not
Click to expand...

The reason doesn't have to be trauma or mental disorder. From what I've read on the topic the origin of addiction is always some sort of pain. Eckart Tolle: "Every Addiction starts with pain and ends with pain." Gabor Mate:" Ask yourself not why the addiction, but why the pain." Now this pain doesn't have to be some traumatic past event, it could be something as innocent as being shy when trying to form relationships, feeling empty (lack of connection with people or "higher being"), lacking direction or purpose, goals to look forward to… The fact is that people who have found long lasting inner peace of mind and have a feeling that they can adequately function in a society, usually don't get addicted. They can use alcohol or drugs recreationally or indulge in other highly dopamine rewarding activities occasionally without need to worry about becoming psychologically addicted. Dr. Mark Lewis writes that pain can be physical (chronic pain, chemical imbalances...), psychological (mental disorders originating from past traumas or inadequate life coping skills) or spiritual (feeling of emptiness, inner void, purposelessness...). You can have a perfect childhood but still be a candidate for becoming addicted because of particular personality type, like being too sensitive/empathetic (which can be a good thing in certain areas) without appropriate coping skills to shield yourself from being "flooded with emotions". Clinical studies have shown that between 8-12% patients who were administered morphine for long periods as a pain relief treatment developed psychological addiction (all developed physical addiction). This is the risk group who would probably get hooked if they tried it by themselves too.

Here is very good explanation of the process:

STRESS = NO.1 REASON FOR RELAPSE (59:00):

The Hijacked Brain Part 1: Understanding Addiction

The Hijacked Brain Part 2: The Power of Denial

The Hijacked Brain Part 3: Recovering Reality

Bandido · Dec 17, 2019

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Day 220ish, Fighting PAWS, PIED semi cured

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