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Crossdressing addiction

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Staystrong2020, Dec 13, 2019.

  1. NeverTooLate

    NeverTooLate Fapstronaut

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 11, 2020
    engelman likes this.
  2. NeverTooLate

    NeverTooLate Fapstronaut

    @fedmom I am interested in what you are saying. Where can I read more? I will read your thread.

    In the meantime I also found this:
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19243704
     
    fedmom likes this.
  3. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    Believe me man, for me it s just a fetish. I don t like to do feminine things, i never wore make up for exemple,because i don t like this thing, i just like sexy lingerie and sexy clothes , that s all. I don t like to shave my hair, i like to have hair on my feet because im actually a man. For some months now im going to gym, i like to exercise, i lift weights. Im not a transgender or these sort of things. i always turn me head after women on street, not after men. Men become interesting in my mind only when i put lingerie on. I can watch a video where a crossdresser or a transgendered person has sex with a man, but i can t stand a video where i see sex between 2 men. yes, it s true that i m an anxious person, maybe crossdressing helps me getting rid of my anxiety, and also the fapping does this thing a lot for me. But i want to have real sex with a girl. All i want is to be able to get erect with a girl and share my time with her. I m sure that if i would be able to have a girlfriend and i would stay with her in the same house, my fetish will be gone. My problem is that i try to avoid girls and getting into relationships because of the erection problem... im too embarassed to confess to a girl that i have this problem and that i m a porn addict and i like to crossdress. Give me some advice if i should consult a doctor or i just need to get rid of my anxiety , because how i said above, after one year of No PMO, when i was at that hooker i couldnt obtain the slightest erection, and that probably caused my relapse, or that was one of the reasons ( probably i said unconsciously in my mind that ,, if anyway i cant get erect with a girl, then what s the reason to continue with no PMO?") . Should i try nofap for longer than one year, should i consult a doctor?
     
  4. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    But it s not the same as a music genre, let s be serious... but anyway my problem is getting erect with girls in bed, and for me to cure this thing, as for many others from here ,is probably to abstain from PMO and thus from crossdressing because crossdressing leads to PMO in the end. If i crossdress, for me the streak is over. That s why i say that crossdressing is bad, because it makes me to fap.
     
  5. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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  6. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Status increases serotonin so it could help. Although now I think about it it probably won't make enough difference.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019
  7. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Well there's almost no other users getting to the root cause. And telling people that paraphilias are harmless is not helpful.
     
    Vitoriosa and Roady like this.
  8. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I've just realized you were probably referring to me, not the author of the link I posted. This is just what I found out recently and it backs my own experience. Most psychatrists are not specialists in paraphilias so saying they are not problems is not correct. An easy way to tell if transgender or not is if you feel regret after cumming.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2019
    Vitoriosa likes this.
  9. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    Cross dressing seem really weird for me. If it’s associated with sissy stuff it does make me think of some kind of masochism. In any case that doesn’t sound healthy.

    What your mom would think knowing you still wear her clothes ? What’s your future girlfriend will think ? I think there is a reason why it sounds wrong in the first place.
    You should drop that like I’m trying to drop mine's

    One thing for sure, your life isn’t just your sex life. Even if you have weird fetish that may never leave, don’t let yourself defined by that, you are much more. Same with the virginity, who cares ?
     
  10. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    I care man. I mean the thing with the virginity... knowing that there are so many girls out there that wish to have me in their bed and i can t perform because of the ED... its painful... I can accept that the fetish is a part of me, but the thing with the erection i cannot.
     
  11. Nil1991

    Nil1991 Fapstronaut

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    He doesn't need to care about what about other people think.

    For me Cross dressing is strange too, but just because I dunno much about it.
     
  12. Nil1991

    Nil1991 Fapstronaut

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    Oh yeah, I understand.
    It seems that because it leads with sexuality it causes more drama than a feet fetish
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I'm not saying don't see a therapist. This fetish can cause severe mental damage though and the problem is you won't realize why until you've increased serotonin.
     
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  14. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    Is it just wearing them or seeing you wearing them ?
     
  15. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your time man and for you response. Sorry for answering so late, but in the last 2 weeks i tried to avoid this site, because on this site there are threads that trigger me too. Now i'm on a 2 weeks streak again, the second time i last 2 weeks in the last 4 months, and i try to reach now further, first time in 4 months. It was very demoralizing for me the fact that i relapsed after 1 year... It was shocking too the fact that the thing that made me relapse was a homosexual dream... in my mind it was something like ,,okay, so if even after 1 year i still have homosexual fantasies and sissy fantasies, then this is who I am" , and i ve fallen prey into my fantasy again ... for 4 months intense fantasies again and so on. Now i came to understand that the fact that I didn t have so many women contacts in my life and also the fact that in this one year free of PMO and crossdressing I didn t experienced with girls made me to remain rooted in this fantasy... Maybe the fact that i am a virgin contributed to this hard recovery process... But i read posts on this site and I read that it can last up to 2 years to recover from this thing ( it s harder for those who never had sexual encounters in their lives and also harder for those with strange fantasies), so in my mind this idea was borned, that I will need 2 years... maybe however not... I mean yes, i tried having sex with a hooker after 11 months of NO PMO, but without an interlude, maybe that s why i couldn t perform... I mean, why when I kissed a girl and cuddled her i got a very strong erection into my pants, but when i saw a naked woman nothing happened? Something doesn t relate to me... Seriously I don t think i really suffer from PIED... My problem is more like a CIED ( crossdressing induced erectile disfunction, so to speak). I mean , I don t need porn to get erect but rather crossdressing... I bet if i try to have sex with a real girl crossdressed, i will be able to have sex.... I thought about this thing ... to try to go to a hooker and tell her that i have this fantasy...but then i realised that this thing will only get me deeper into my fantasy and after this for sure i will not be able to perform without crossdressing. Now i proposed myself to reach 3 months again and then get tinder and starting hanging out with random girls and try to have sex with them. For me it s better to try with girls who don t know my friends or things like this, cuz if i fail, nobody would find out i couldnt perform... And of course it s better than a hooker, cuz with a real girl , firstly we go to a coffee, then we kiss and because it s step by step, I have more chances to succed than with a hooker... But still, for me the idea that i will no be able to have sex and lose my virginity for the next 1-2 years is frightening... especially because i am 22 years old... if i would have been 18 years, it would have been a lot easier to accept the fact that for the next 2 years i will not have sex.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2020
    Roady likes this.
  16. Kin ly

    Kin ly New Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Staystrong2020, I’m going through the same thing, just a year younger and also had a problem getting erect to my ex last year, my longest streak on NoFap this whole year was only a week. It's amazing to see that you went a year without MO. Anyways, I know it’s been a while since you posted on this thread, but I’m also confused on what to do right now and just want see how your turning out so far with everything going on. I wish the best of luck to you on your journey.
     
  17. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    Man, i dont want to get you discouraged or something, but im not doing too well... im at the lowest point i have ever been in my life. Since i relapsed after 1 year of No PMO it passed 1 year and 3 months. Today, for 1 year and 3 months i fapp compulsively and i feel like i cant stop anymore. I managed to abstain myself this year 2 good streaks, one from 9th of may till 16th of july ( so 2 months and one week) and one from 20th of july till 7th of october ( so almost 3 months) . The problem is that today abstaining 2-3 months doesnt make it for me anymore. I felt absolutely nothing after 2-3 months, no sexual desire at all , at least not for straight things, only for my fantasies and for my sick wishes like crossdressing and sissy. I am so fucked up right now, that i actually dream homosexual stuff every week almost, it s a regular thing for me. I managed to get myself a girlfriend on my second streak of the year , the almost 3 month one. She was one of the reasons why i had the motivation to abstain, i told her about my ed but i hadn t the opportunity to try it with her. I guess i inserted in her mind and in my mind also the idea that for at least 3-6 months we wont even be able to try to have sex... my objective was to abstain mysef 3 months at least and only after that i would try to make out with her... but i couldnt reach exactly 3 months and i relapsed.... after that a string depression hit me and we broke up... being sad on this fact all the time made her give up on me and i decided to let her go... not trouble her with my problems... maybe i made a mistake that i didn t even try... i amvery anxious abou trying sex because i am afraid that i might fail.... but how am i supposed to know if i dont even try?? I am stupid.... anyway i dont have the desire to try, i mean all my sexual desires are linked to my fantasies... i built a monster inside my head... all i wish now is to be able to abstain myself for at least 6 months and then try.... but i dont know how i will be able to try if i dont even make it up to 3 months anymore.... believe me, abstaining so many times for so much time without having sex make the situation even worse, especially when you are still a virgin... my advice is to try it whenever you get the chance... this is what i am gonna do since now, try it until my sexual desires returns. I will be able one dat, i know for sure.... i will fight this demon until im gonna win. NEVER GIVE UP... I am trying to stop now for 3,6 years.... i will try till i will be able to stop once for all.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2020
  18. Lencho

    Lencho Fapstronaut

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    This is a very brief summary of my story.

    I'm happy to read that you made this post last year December and you're still on today. I can relate to you almost identically up until 18. And the. I can still relate to you on most aspects since then. I wish I could go with streaks that long but I can't. I can barely go 2-3 days. But I believe that its a journey and as long as we don't give up we're still in this game. If you have questions for me, I'd love to share but I have some questions for you, hope you don't mind.

    Your Dad? Was he around?

    Your Mom? How was she with you?

    Your Friends? Did you have many or were you usually left out?

    I have a pretty crazy ED segment in my life...
     
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  19. Kin ly

    Kin ly New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the response, I know this can be hard to deal with. Even though I have been doing MO for the past few months and now trying to repress it. I don’t feel depressed anymore , I’ve just learned to not make a big deal out of it. Anytime I get a random thought of crossdressing or something impulsive, instead of trying to push it away by not thinking of it. I just welcome the thought into my head and say to myself,” ok this is what we’re thinking about, that’s fine”. Doing this may not seem like a lot but it’s helped to stop the random impulsive thoughts. Also to note, for me I had a father and mother, but not a lot of friends when I was younger and not much interaction with girls. Most of the time in high school I was doing MO instead of talking to girls after school or meeting new people. When I understood this later on I kind of saw the hole I was digging myself into for so long. For me my fetish hid the pain of being alone for so long, it wasn’t until this year that I figured this out. When I started to understand more, I got less anxious and nervous about all of this. I still have ways to go, and it means a lot that you responded. There’s this guy on YouTube called Porn Reboot, some of his videos have helped me. I hope you get better man and stay strong.
     
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  20. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your response. I actually read it but i think i didnt know how to respond and also in the beggining of this year i tried to avoid this site as much as possible, because i wanted to avoid even thinking or writing about fapping, i actually found triggering even reading too much this site. I think i even read your journal, or at least some of it, and also about your christian journey and so on. You talked about attachement issues, i have no doubt that you are right... the absence of my father weighed a lot , even if i didnt realise it untill later in my teen years. I thought many times to go and seek some assistance from a specialist, to talk about my problems, because i am sure that the PMO is not the cause but the effect of my true inner problems ( and i talk here about anxiety, loneliness, lack of friends, of activity, lack of interest in everything in general, procrastination and so on). I feel uncomfortable about this thing... not about speaking out my problems, but about speaking of my pmo problems and the escaladation of it in strange fantasies and crossdressing. I actually know for sure that the day when i release myself from this loop, i will regain my happiness back. Of course this doesnt mean that my anxiety and loneliness problems will dissapear, but when i will be able to cure my ed and have sex with a girlfriend and love her and so on, my depression will go away, i have no doubts about it.
     
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