Masturbation is a SYMPTOM, not a PROBLEM.

I Masturbate because I'm horny. I sleep if I have nothing to do, or watch TV.

 

I have nothing to strive for and I don't fap, because fapping is something to strive for.

 

They probably do though...

 

It is a problem, and I do have things to do, porn is the easy and pleasurable way out. Its like using drugs.

 

people usually masturbate because their horny , "successful " people don't masturbate usually because they can find a partner to have sex with or they suppress the urge to please them self

 

I always have what to do even if I not playing games. And I'm not watching TV for 16 years already. Still, I was fapping on porn, just because arousal and sexual desire destracted me from things I was doing like programming or learning. But after you will fap for 3 times or more - your mind becoming hazy, it's harder to concentrate, but I was at least not distracted from necessary stuff. So, not getting bored doesn't helpes.

 

Speak for yourself, I don't think thats the case for 95% of the people here.

 

Likewise measurement of a bottom line like days of abstinence from PMO is measuring the symptom rather than the problem. It's a bit like thinking just because you take a decongestant you have cured your cold, rather than things like an antibiotic and other measures to actually address the infection.

Now think this through, that means all those people out there measuring their recovery with days have only been measuring their symptom.

All. This. Time. In the history of recovery.

THAT is a waste of time to me. Not that people didn't benefit to some extent, but it's a waste because it didn't go any further and people just keep repeating the same things. (remember the definition of insanity as doing the same thing but expecting different results?) This is not a new idea, once in a while you'll hear people in a face to face meeting state it. But then they probably go on to do the usual confession thing and don't really share in terms of solution other than the same small set of tools.

Mindless repetition of any form is a waste because it is redundant. Whether we're talking about the problematic behavior or a brute force approach of simply repeating the same old strategies, it's the same principle. That's completely understandable when you're new and you can't think clearly, but it's another matter if there have been a lot of time and people have gotten together and organized and yet nothing more skillful has been integrated.

We talk about isolation a lot in recovery. It's not just a matter of social isolation IMO, that's a myopic view that fixates on social support only - which appears to be fairly common. I'd say social isolation is one expression of a more general pervasive isolation, like the isolation of a way of thinking from the rest of the world. If that was not the case all the more sophisticated psychological practice, bio/neurohacks and so forth would be integrated into mainstream recovery, but this is not the case. Not by a long shot.

And there's another way people isolate their thinking, it's to potential and possibility itself. That's why I started the inquiry thread. Have you noticed people always communicate in terms of a conclusion, as if there's no further possibility? Even if it's well meaning the statements following the confessional stuff at shares in meetings is in a sense masturbatory because people are telling themselves "I gotta do this that and other" to be better in their recovery, it's the same limited set of behavioral repertoire. With this behavior years and decades can easily go by with minimal change to the much vaunted 'program' and even the social aspect may not be that helpful, because you see people in programs who don't even want to sponsor people.

This situation is NOT up for the challenge of the modern reality of addiction. At all.