Help! I've tried helping myself for 2 years, and I realized that nothing has developed

Hey guys, ever since the age of 11 (by the way I'm 18) I've been in a constant addiction into porn and jerking off, due to many horrible circumstances caused in my life. First, throughout my life, I was always this loner that was constantly picked on, while I had big dreams in my life. Even though I have a long road to become successful, nothing in my 2 years of many errors of NoFap hasn't aided me in improvement, but I'm willing to stay persistent. Throughout high school, I've tried to improve myself especially in my Junior year when I found out about this great movement in which of the NoFap journey. While at first, I had this placebo of a 31-day streak, from my first relapse I couldn't do the same for almost 2 years.

I felt even worse than before, and it ended up with me having no friends in high-school and no girls for prom either, due to my social anxiety. While I daydream of myself having these great groups of friends, this attractive girl that I will eventually date, and all of this massive bank account due to my successful business. None of this has happened to me, as these visualizations have got me nowhere into a better person, but into a much worse person. Some view me as not having a likable due to my angry ass face and unsocial nature, and this feels like I've never made any improvements in my self-help journey.

While I shouldn't be doing college and focus on creating business ideas, I'm doing this due to the "obstacles that I feel in my mind". I looked forward to college with this full-year scholarship that I've earned and not worrying about paying, but now I think it's a waste of time due to having the same loner mindset that I always had since a tender age. Even in the gym, I'm the type of dude that nobody talks to, and I'm always such an awkward individual. I never had the feeling of having a genuine friend on my side, as who I called a friend was actually some faker in disguise.

I think now at the age of 18 I think I won't get past 19, due to how lame I have lived and the isolation that I go through while I compare to other people.

 

By the way I've received no benefits from anything by doing 31 days of NoFap, or anything else.