The Problem of Fantasy

I'm 19 days into my NoFap journey. Just about to pass the 20 day mark. I'm finding myself managing quite decently all things considered. Having had previous accounts here and previously failing to make even 8 days without relapsing, I believe the key to sticking this out is to have a coherent guiding philosophy for why you're here as well as outlets to which you can direct the extra time and energy provided to you by doing NoFap.

I'm at my best it seems when I'm running every day and eating healthy. I've slipped up a bit on this in recent days and as a result I believe I'm getting increased cravings.

Throughout the last twenty days I have noticed in myself an improving ability to be social and to make conversation with people including girls.

A problem I've been having though is that because I never have the opportunity to experience that euphoric release we get when we orgasm, I'm feeling a tremendous amount of built up sexual energy and "horniness" that I'm absolutely desperate to release. It's led to me fantasising (not about porn actresses but real life women that I know and am sexually attracted to). Are these fantasies permissible for NoFap? Obviously I am not masturbating and orgasming to them and therefore the sexual tension is never released, but therein lies the problem. It NEVER gets released and I find myself fantasising more and more and I just can't stop. Sometimes I'm wound up like a spring.

My first question: How much of an actual problem are these fantasies for us NoFappers? Should it be considered internally created soft-core pornography for us to have these fantasies?

My second question: How to fight against this? Are there any techniques? Does it get easier as time goes on? I'm absolutely terrified that I might finally succumb and relapse as the increased sexual tension leads to fantasies which leads to urges to relapse.

Perhaps I need to become more active in the dating market and find a real life sexual partner.

Perhaps I need to do better in terms of the other lifestyle changes I'm doing in conjunction with NoFap: running, dieting etc.

Would love to hear any advice or thoughts people have on managing this. Thanks for reading!

 

God, hard mode sounds unbearable to me. Although when you're single like me I guess you are locked into a sort of "hard mode" until you find a partner. lol.

 

Does it matter what type of fantasy it is?

The sorts of fantasies I'm creating consist of pretty "normal" passionate sex. When I looked at porn, I was never much into the weird kinky stuff. I tried to look for any porn that resembled what I thought normal real life sex would be like.

The point is that I don't believe that I'm fantasising about anything I probably wouldn't be able to do it when a normal girl in real life.

It still drives me crazy though.