314 Day Streak

Did you notice any pattern on the duration of the cycles? E.g. does the flatline part get shorter and the good part longer?

I have been through at least three of those cycles now. Generally speaking I feel better, but it is hard to say.

This is a very important question. Looking forward to seeing an answer from someone with more experience.

 

So happy to read your story and I would like to hear more. I am also going through severe PAWS. My journey is almost 8 months now. I just got a very slight relief from PAWS about 2 days ago. I have researched a lot about PAWS. They stay for about 6 to 24 months depending upon the severity of your addiction. The good news is things should start getting better now for both of us hopefully. I am literally going through HELL because of PAWS. But this community and some youtubers have really helped me realizing that this is not a 90 day journey. Esp for those who started on porn at a young age. I was unfortunately one of them.
I have read that meditation and exercise may help but I am not sure since I haven't tried those. Most of the successful genuine rebooters suggest that time and NOT relapsing are the biggest tool on this journey. Moreover, PAWS is the sign that your brain has started the rewiring process so its a good news as well in a way. And since its the brain rewiring, the symptoms during PAWS are psychological in nature rather than physical. The most common are anxiety, social anxiety, depression, mood swings, brain fog etc.
I am a Muslim by religion so getting close to my Creator the GOD has helped me a lot during this time. If praying 5 times a day comes under some sort of meditation then IDK. I am thinking of starting some light exercise as well in a week or so.
Just hold on. DONT relapse. Stop all triggers. The random youtube videos, hot photos here and there on social media etc. limit TV, movies, music etc. Start healthy hobbies, go out, read a book, just do sth productive.

 

I can relate to that.

Indeed. I think Gary Wilson always says most people need between 1 and 2 years to fully recover. I believe the better your reboot is, the shorter the recovery period.

I first started doing meditation around 10 years ago but not very consistently. When my PMO addiction got really bad and started experiencing really bad feelings —by that time I didn't even know I had an addiction problem– I though I should be serious about meditation, which I did. This is what happened: meditation made everything worse. And it is not because I do not know how to meditate, I know how to do it and I had done it in the past, after learning about its supposed benefits.

I feel exercise does help. Combined endurance and resistance training for optimal results.

This has helped me indeed. In fact, one day when all this addiction issues are just a nightmare from the past, I would be thankful because it took me closer to God.

 

@Hello Friend
You could be going through PAWS (porn addiction withdrawal syndrome)

 

Okay, someone clue me into what PAWS stands for?

 

Post acute withdrawal symptoms -> https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/p-a-w-s-what-are-they-cure-duration.231859/

 

Can you elaborate on this?

 

Yes. When I was doing meditation, I was trying to control my thoughts to fix a chemical imbalance, which now I can see it makes no sense.

For some time and to some degree meditation was working. I got very serious and, despite my worsening insomnia, I remember a night when I literally shut myself down in the middle of convulsions, high heart rate, ectopic beats, etc. I will never forget that night: I managed to avoid any thought coming in about the hell that I was experiencing and, as if I pressed my hard-reset button, I turned myself off. I only remember waking up 8 hours later. The next I was very optimistic because I thought I could use my brain power to dominate whatever the hell was happening to me, which by then I still didn't know. So I tried the same at the following night. It didn't work and I only slept 2 hours from 6am to 8am. Trying to do a deep meditation that would bring the same results as the previous night ended up being a very stressful experience.

So why did meditation make everything worse? Because I was putting more and more mental (spiritual) energy into solving a growing problem that was due to chemical imbalance. And that implied additional stress on my psyche.

Later I found out about NoFAP. Now I am almost 6 months PMO free. After day 74 I started sleeping better and better and my anxiety has so far decreased notably. I often find myself in a state where my mind is blank and peaceful, but I don't do purposeful meditation, it comes naturally because the chemical imbalance is on its way to get fixed. I still have PAWS cycles, which is normal and part of the healing process, but that is another story.

I hope that makes sense.

 

Thats interesting. I know what you mean though. There's other forms of meditation that you may or may not want to try in the future that arent as taxing as what you were doing. Im not one to talk though as Im the worst (so far) at maintaining a strict meditation habit. The papers on how it can shrink the amygdala and grow the frontal lobes interest me though.

Funny thing too, ive done exactly what you described (turning your mind off) during a late night panic attack i had once. Repetetive thought loops, shakes, and intense anxiety were keeping me feeling INSANE and I just focused on my breath and didnt let any thoughts pop up.

Later i started learning about "internal family systems" and i now believe i was able to just shut up those "parts" of my psyche by sheer force because i needed sleep.

 

Endurance sport and sauna+cold showers put me into a meditation-like pleasant state. I don't know if that is one of the alternative forms that you are referring to.

Can you link to those papers?

 

Thank you for this thread! By the end of January I’ll be 8 months PMO free (except for occasional wet dreams) It has been a difficult journey. There are days that my mind is as clear and creative as I’ve never known it to be. But the tough days can be hell. I also got exposed to porn at a very young age; I’m 32 now.

Many of the questions I’ve had are being answered in this thread. The shakes/tremors while on PAWS cycles, can be some of the most annoying and extreme things I’ve experience. And to me, the insane thing is that research on porn addiction is still very limited, so we’re literally discovering this as we go.

Again, I’m thankful for this thread, as this can be a lonely road. And feliz 2020 to you all.

 

Congrats on your streak.
I have not yet reached such a high streak.
But I can suggest you to read this : 6 years clean.

 

There's a lot of smaller studies but this one is the biggest/most cited that I could find with a quick search:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2840837/

 

Follow something passionately, have sleepless nights over this thing and have no time to check if you have Paws, it will fade away