Christmas is a bitch

Hi, thanks for the wise rant. It‘s good you do not feel the need to adapt in order to belong to the zombies ... Have you heard of Milton Erickson?

„One of Erickson's most vivid autohypnotic moments occurred while he had polio. During his illness, he experienced a hypnotic state and spent many weeks becoming keenly aware of how his physical communication would often contradict his verbal communication. Erickson spent much of his early adulthood in solitude, focusing on learning how to understand his own body language. This interest would prevail throughout his career.“

He was cut off from „normal“ life.

Rather than lose yourself in circumstances and conditions and people with their drama study them, observe them. Find patterns, flaws, try to see behind the facade. Sit in a big train station hall watch people and guess their stories. Just as you shared yours they have stories too. Even when with app in gym or with ear stuffed ... was there abuse, violence, neglect, love, laughter, siblings, etc.
Curiosity can do wonder in a world so remote. You connect. On your own terms.

PS: I go to SLAA Meetings as well, f2f and online. Good stuff. Still struggling with that Higher Power but slowly getting it.

PSS: I used to say: Life‘s not a bitch it‘s a pimp.

 

My Christmas experience usually is also lonely. Yeah, I'm at home with my mother or father most of the times at the christmas, but it's just.... Lonely, yeah. A lots of dudes and chicks have big smiles on their faces in instagram and facebook and they just make me want to vomit. I just listen to my music and take a walk. Like every normal day.
About living in this society... Well, I'm 19 and sometimes feel angry because of how much people indeed are just zombies or just socially disabled cunts who just act big in instagram or just simply on internet while in life they are just boring as hell. But I have a good friend, can talk with many people around me so I don't really worry about it. Finding wife could be a challange, but if I search in my interest zone I guess I will find her fast. About putting kids on earth... Well, yeah, life is a bit hard but we can make it even harder by bitching about it, so no no no. I stopped crying, and realised how weak actually this thing is. It's not hard at all.

 

In christmas everyone gets a excuse to drink drougs most days and left with hungover the rest, im usually alone

 

Christmas was awful for me. New Year's usually is a catalyst for an existential crisis. It's so difficult. You're not alone in feeling deep pain. Our society is so individualistic on top of everything else. Hang on. Take it one day at a time. That's what I keep telling myself when I just want to give up! You never know when things could take a turn for the better.

 

Similar boat as you man. Plus the parental situation I have here is pretty fucked up. I feel like I'm not doing myself much good by staying here (around my parents). Maybe you should move. It sounds like you have a pretty shitty social life in general. I do too (kind of). They say that "what's wrong is always available but so is what's right." About the kids in the world thing. I get it but it seems to me that you just have a "jaded worldview". You've been so focused on the darkness of life that you've lost touch with the light. Life was never super easy and even if it was, it never lasted. I challenge you to improve how you see the world. Get out of your crappy situation. Go live somewhere else. Go meet positive/uplifting people. Don't spend too much time ruminating on the negative alone in your head. As we speak, it's Friday night and there's a good chance I'll spend it on my own in the house BUT I'm working on saving money and getting out of here. I'm working on improving my social life. Rome wasn't built in a day and knowing that I'm making some kind of progress always uplifts me. The question is are you trying to make progress or are you just sulking like a pussy?

 

I like your mentality. I just spent 10+ hours straight designing my vision for 2020. I spent the entire day by myself doing that and listening to nature sounds (I'm sketching the blueprint for Rome haha). It's Saturday and I am alone. It may be another lonely night. We'll see.