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(I think that) NoFap is bollocks

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2019.

  1. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Have you ever known anyone with an addiction? Have you every known anyone who has successfully cured themselves of addiction? Because addiction is very rarely treated by psychiatrists. Especially 'lifestyle' addictions like gambling or porn/sex addiction. A very common way to treat this kind of addiction is with community support groups - either in 'real life' or, yes, with strangers on the internet. It is not new, it is supported by evidence and it has helped many people. I don't understand how you can be so clueless if you are genuinely interested in this stuff, to be quite honest.

    There are plenty of charlatans in every aspect of 'self-help', plenty of people trying to make money or promising you the moon. P addiction is no different. But it does not mean that plenty of people don't have genuine problems with this stuff! on the contrary, the reason so many people fall for the scams is that they fail to help themselves and they are looking for a miracle cure - just like people who eat too much, gamble, etc. It's an easy trap to fall in to.

    What is the main message of this site anyway? Are they charlatans trying to sell us products? Maybe some are. The message I take away is - quitting P is hard (if you're an addict), but buying books, taking online courses, buying products etc probably won't help, you just need a hefty dose of self-discipline and a willingness to take personal responsibility for your choices in life.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Evidently the idea of a point C, a synthesis from the thesis and antithesis is not familiar to the author of this.
     
  3. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Nice strawman. If it's treatment it would apply, (what about 12 Step?) and of course this argument is qualified by two factors: Being online and being a stranger. Professionals ARE strangers, their methods are "strange" if you don't really know about them, getting interested in learning about it to some extent for oneself is simply being interested and involved in your own care. (please, don't even try to equate that with having a degree as if being informed is a stupid thing to do and nor is the point to try to treat oneself) As far as being online this superficial analysis again misses the point on one thing: THIS addiction INVOLVES being online. It's not hard to see it is not going to be an issue for many if they don't have the underlying internet habit as if it would be as compulsive with going to the store and buying physical media. The point here is people are online because they are compulsive about relating this way, it's a part of it. And unless you are going to write off online communication wholesale this is simply a double edged sword.

    And lets notice one thing: The author of these posts IS an online stranger, who is obviously very sloppy about their writing and thinking, the latter of which probably involves honesty with their intention either to others or also to themselves. I'm all for both in person support groups as well as professional therapists, but oh - you need to pay rent for the meeting space and you need to pay the therapist. Looks like it's also about making money.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I've already told you that most psychistrists are not specialists in this area.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
    • You demanded research papers. You've been pointed to them. Your response was you don't like the design of the site (seriously WTF)
    • You pointed out that the owner of nofap tries to make money on extra stuff. Alcoholics Anonymous works in a similar way I think. Does that mean alcoholism doesn't exist?
    • You said you're able to use porn with no negative consequences. Congratz, enjoy your life. Why are you here?
     
  5. Your smarter than that your trolling
     
  6. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I respect your opinion mate,nofap may be bs to you and that's your opinion.If you want some proof then find them,there is no better proof than try nofap.My comment maybe looks offense but,if this not work for you then don't do it.Everyone is different,that's why sometimes comes to disagreement,i don't know why you have account if you not porn addict and pmo have no affect to you.You have your life,so live by rules you want to accept,if you want pmo then do it,if you want anything else you can do it,no one can stop it is your life so your decisions,just save time for yourself and for other people.
     
  7. GROXES

    GROXES Fapstronaut

    I greatly admire your thread, and I was laughing out loud when I read your replies to the blind followers of nofap. I am on the same page as you, as there is... a large absence of evidence on the topic. The exaggerative stories coming from incels isn't very convincing either.
    I know you're asking for legitimate evidence, but this is what I will tell you from my personal experience for reasons I can't explain.

    Firstly, I want to say I don't think PMO is inherently bad if done sparingly.
    (I've had girlfriends and sex during my heavy porn phase in high school. "girls notice me more" is my least favorite thing to read from nofap incels)

    When I abstain from PMO, I feel overall better as an individual. I have more energy, I need less sleep, my skin is clearer, my eyes are clearer, I communicate better, I feel more confident, and I seem to enjoy the little things in life more. These benefits do peak, which is why I'm not totally against PMO, but I know these benefits are undeniably true from my own experience. The dopamine/testosterone argument seems valid. You don't have to believe what I'm saying, this is just me telling you personally.

    In my experience with porn, my searches have never turned "darker" to what people claim and what not blah blah blah, those are people who deal with porn compulsively. They have deeper issues.

    I encourage you to try nofap yourself for two weeks or more and see what it's like. Maybe your opinion may change. Apologies in advance if you have already tried and I skimmed over that.

    I highly respect your post, the majority of people here are blind followers without a cause and "relapse" often. I never tried to confront these people for what they claim as "evidence", because I honestly don't care enough.
    I want to quit because I want to feel free from porn, and I don't like the feeling of something being in control of me.
     
  8. It changed my lifestyle. Too bad you are stuck in the rut of playing with yourself and calling other people bollocks for trying to better their lives. You loss, in every sense of the word.
     
  9. Isn't this the exact same reason the "majority of dumb followers" are doing nofap as well? (Sounds like hypocrisy to me.) Last I checked nobody came to this site to be able to sprout wings and fly.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  10. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    From your answers I think you are kidding yourself on this one: you do use porn.

    There are people here who are quitting porn because of the negative physical effects from their porn use, and lots are here because of the damaging effects it was having on their relationships. There is also a moral dimension. I do think porn is evil, but it looks like our moralities are very different.


    Strange how few mainstream actresses want to appear in porn. They'd be paid well, but it is not appealing for them. I suspect performing in a movie and performing in a porno are absolutely different. It makes me sad that you see them as interchangeable.

    I'm 54 and I'm guessing you are younger than that. There was more social stigma decades ago. When I was young porn was consumed by teenage booys and dirty old men, there was shame attached to it. But the porn industry woke up and worked hard to change public opinion. Gail Dines book Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality does a great job analysing that move. (N.B. I feel fine recommending Dine's book to @JoshuaGraham as he is not, on the face of it, struggling with porn addiction. For others reading this post be careful, it is a useful resource but laden with triggers.)

    Good. I find it frightening how socially acceptable porn is becoming. People think of it as an inevitable part of a man's life. I wish I could turn that around. I wish everybody tried to think through their moral choices independently. Things like Pronhub's Christmas adverts do my head in. It is such a blatant attempt by a massive corporation (MindGeek) to legitimise their spiteful product. Urghhh.

    I think it should play a part in how you asses yourelf. I think it is wrong, morally wrong. But morality varies person to person. If you see nowt wrong in porn then NoFap is definitely not for you.

    Porn is terrible for the women working in the industry, and it seeps into the way all women are viewed. It is evil. I'm unlikely to persuade you of that but I hope this thread has made you think again.


    That's fine. I don't see anything wrong per se with masturbation. For me abstaing from masturbation is just a tool to help me stay porn free, like quitting tonic water to help stay clear of gin.


    I agree with you about much 'self-help' literature etc., but I do not think NoFap is in that game.


    You are wrong, there are two things: a huge multi-billion-dollar business making money from abusing women, and a loss-making website trying to help those who want to stop.


    One more thought…

    One thing I love about these forums is their experimental nature. We are all trying out techniques to find what works for us. It is hard to argue about porn's effect on your life in the abstract, but you could try an experiment. Give up porn for three months and see if you feel any different. That will be far easier for you than for many of us if you are right in your analysis of your porn use. If you do decide to try the experiment I'll be interested to hear how you fare.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2019
  11. Ok coomer
     
  12. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I dont think the reason this thread has blown up has much to do with the subject matter anymore, perhaps when it first started but now its just turned into a back and forth argument like all these kinds of threads do all over the internet over anything controversial/provocative. Its the equivalent of going fishing by throwing grenades into the water, of course its going to get some sort of overblown response.

    As for what you actually said, I kinda find myself agreeing somewhat. I genuinely do think NoFap works, at least it works for me, I'm not saying this as some spokesperson for the website or anything, just as some random guy who stumbled across it, read into it, tried it, and found some aspects of it are applicable to my life. Having said that, I've come to realise NoFappers are their own worst enemy a lot of the time, I mean, look at a lot of the people who spent so long arguing with some random guy starting a provocative thread on an internet forum without putting much thought into whether he was just fishing for replies (whether he was or not doesnt matter, in the end the result is the same), as opposed to doing, I mean anything else, almost anything else would have been more productive in this instance. I even made light of this with my first post where I just posted the Eminem GIF instead of saying anything. I think if some people on this site spent the time they didn't spend PMO'ing doing something more productive, they would have more success. I find that staying on the site for a long time has a corrosive effect, its almost like a mental prison. This is why I only show up either occasionally or when I get a notification, I find the site is a lot less repetitive and draining when used in moderation.

    Another final thing is that you are right in saying "deeper issues" are a root cause of PMO addiction that a lot of people struggle to address. I know this somewhat applies to me and its a struggle to work on but I think a lot of people naively think just quitting PMO by itself will magically solve their issues. Sure that does have some benefit but its a smaller piece of a larger picture, the only way to know what works for you is to try it.
     
  13. TheSickBoy

    TheSickBoy Fapstronaut

    Why don't you try it yourself for 90 days? First hand experiences are always better than theories.
     
  14. He doesn't have what it takes to do it.
     
    Deleted Account and TheSickBoy like this.
  15. GROXES

    GROXES Fapstronaut

    I'm not surprised to see someone so obsessed on these forums to give me this type of response. A valid statement nonetheless, but my reason for quitting is much deeper than that obviously. I apologize I don't care enough to explain. But no, I don't think the "majority of dumb followers" have this same exact reason. Yes, they clearly want to quit and not be controlled, but many choose NoFap to "get girls" whether they realize it or not, or that they will become super humans and automatically achieve success. They think nofap will give them things when they don't even have a solid reason for quitting yet. It took me a whole year of weekly relapses to realize I didn't have a solid foundation. If you reply with a counter comment or give me the "your only on day 5"(<-challenge accepted) junk, I don't care. This is just my opinion and I don't consider myself a hypocrite by any means.

    @AtomicTango I appreciate your response.
     
  16. GROXES

    GROXES Fapstronaut

    I guess skepticism isn't tolerated here is it?
     
  17. It is.

    But a true, genuine skeptic would try it for himself and judge by himself.
     
  18. Every time this thread gets a hit I get a little bit sad
     
    Master-Keaton likes this.
  19. nofap is a personal thing. different people, different results, different issues. if you like fapping, then keep doing it. but apparently some people DONt like it. its not fore everyone. and NoFap isnt for everyone either, its a matter of choice.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.

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