addiction vs habit

Some people who 'function normally' drinks too. People who are really depressed also 'function normally' - but that doesn't make them not depressed.

Now some people may describe themselves as a recovering addict, describing and identifying are two different views.

So what if you drop the semantics? Do you think there's anything to work on for you? I can assure you these are not points that's new to the community, the sheer number of users would give an idea of how unlikely that is from a statistical perspective alone.

 

What about drug addicts man? You touch drugs again, and you'll be back on, same with porn, no different, the addictive wiring is still there waiting for you if you go back, we can't ever use porn ever again.

 

addiction is obsession that cannot be controlled by yourself

 

"function normally" is strange conception. I have hobbies, good salary, moved from third party country to EU, doing sport and interesting to people and you can say I function really normally and well, even if I have depression, suicidal thoughts, problems with sex, small or no attraction to real persons because of porn addiction. I have questions to your therapist, maybe you need to consider to change it.

 

Also keep in mind therapists have specializations, this doesn't sound like someone who specializes in addiction recovery. (when someone lists a whole bunch of stuff as "specializations" they probably don't specialize in anything, since that contradicts the very notion and it's unlikely someone has that kind of time to delve deep into every thing on their long list) As a general practitioner I would think it's easy to just qualify it in terms of if this isn't interfering with your daily activities like work, school and so forth then it's not applicable - but that's a bit like a family doctor looking at a mole and saying it's just a mole, whereas a trained dermatologist may recognize it is in fact likely skin cancer and needs to be further investigated. This is why people look for therapists who have had similar life experience so they know they can understand.

The idea of powerlessness relating to identification as addict needs some distinctions and be unpacked. I think the valuable aspect of saying "I'm so and so, and I'm an addict" at a meeting is the honesty and self disclosure so you're not isolated in the problem. Beyond that though if it becomes an affirmation it is a very different matter. We want positive affirmations, not negative ones. This doesn't seem to get talked about because I never hear this distinction made.

Beyond that I have an issue with the very framework of powerlessness in the first place, because it is about power-over. That's a paradigm of dominance. If anything community, which is such a huge factor in recovery is about a collective, cooperative power. Even if someone attributes a saving grace to a higher power, how often is that due to a kind of synchronicity? Doesn't synchronicities involve some kind of cooperation, even if it's just kind of a life conspiring to give you a chance kind of thing? One does not have to not have the notion of a higher power, the two are not mutually exclusive. But it is possible to think that way and end up ignoring the synchronicities around you and the opportunities to be supported by things in life. No reasonable person thinks they would have to sit around waiting for a miracle (or what they think of as miracles) when there are tangible resources nearby - LIKE meetings and recovery communities.

 

if you suffer withdrawals when going off something and it doesn't go away when you make changes in your life, and if you put that behaviour before important things in your life (work, family, etc) then you could be addicted to it.

A lot of people here don't have porn addictions. They have bad habits. They just suffer "withdrawals" because they don't fill in the void in their lives that porn left. They simply think they can wish something away with little to no work on their part, then they retreat into a hopeless sense of depression when reality smacks sense into them.

 

@010010010100000101001101 and I had a discussion about this on my journal and I ended up making a thread out of it: Does the label "porn addict" remain useful long into recovery? I think there are two ways of looking at it, both are useful but they are diametrically opposed. I suspect that different kinds of people prefer each explanation.

1. Calling oneself an addict is a way of excusing future relapses.
   
2. Calling oneself an addict encourages continued vigilance.

@shooter mcgavin you say "if I call myself an addict, I'll subconsciously accept that there is nothing I can do to break free" so you are definitely in the first group. But I think of it differently. I am on Day 1,186 without porn and Day 1,177 without masturbation but I still think of myself as an addict. Why? I think of myself that way so that I do not give up. I want to do whatever recovery work I need to forever. I never want to assume I am fixed and let a trigger lead to irresistible urges and a relapse. I plan to never relapse and that requires constant vigilance. Sure it is relatively easy now, I am very practised at resisting any urges that do arise, but I do not want to lapse into a false sense of security, my next difficult period may be just around the corner but I am ready to face it.

 

There are many misconceptions what addiction really is. Neuroscience has proven that addiction is nothing else than deep learned behavior, a highly dopamine rewarding behavior that has been repeated so many times that brain "moves" it from prefrontal cortex (in charge of rational thinking) to midbrain (where "autopiloted" behaviors are stored) to save on energy as rational thinking consumes much more energy than behaviors on autopilot. This newly established neuro connection between midbrain and striatum weakens PFC. That's why any highly dopamine rewarding substance or behavior can become addiction, be it excessive sex, PMO, gambling, shopping, drugs, alcohol,... You can learn more about brain and addiction in dr. Mark Lewis book Biology of desire: why a addiction is not a disease and in dr. Kuhar's The Addicted brain.

Here is Lewis' lecture on the topic:

 

Whenever i hear about doctors or therapists in this forum, I would ask the people to read this : 6 years clean, rebooting is the best remedy.

 

Deeply learned addiction cannot be erased. Such a clear and elucidating description, Addiction is associated with control– being in control.

 

Since there is a ton of information and the guide is not originally written in English, it would be helpful if someone shared their experience in more detail. HMHU who was posting and translating it has not been seen on the forum since April 2019 so we cannot talk to him.

 

talk to real Doctor please

 

It depends on the type of porn. To cause a behavioural addiction it needs to be porn that induces the excitory response of the autonomic nervous system.