I had the ‘Porn’ talk with my little brother and warned him today

To start off I’m 17. I live with my 3 little brothers and my mom.

Today, I caught my 13 year old brother watching porn. I immediately saw him cover himself and I just closed the door and waited until after. I called his name and asked him to talk. Not in a weird way. But to have a talk with him many parents and older figures should have with their kids (of course parents of today deny the effects of porn).

I said to him that a lot of people do what you did and that’s fine. It’s not your fault. But I said let me tell you something. Many people deny it, but in reality, that can ruin your life.

he looked at me with a confused look. And told me “all kids do it though, even the kids at school tell me they do it”

I told him that despite people believing that porn and masturbation isn’t harmful to your health. Doing it often can really mess up your life. I proceeded to tell him that I knew from experience.

There was a time that my family didn’t know what was going on with me, neither did I. I was always depressed, socially anxious, and feeling low. I reminded him of that time when I was like that and told him that it was because I used porn way too much. It began to become the biggest problem I’ve ever faced.

he gave me a surprised look and he thought for a second.

My life has changed dramatically since then. I feel like I can do anything.

I also told him that the reason that I’ve changed is because I gave up porn for the most part and masturbation. I went from using it every day multiple times a day, to using it once a month, and that it was extremely hard to do so.

He looked at me and asked if that means he can do it monthly and be fine. I told him no, I told him if he’s focusing on porn masturbation at all in life, it can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle, and life is best lives without it to be safe.

he told me that he’s done it everyday for two weeks but not much before then.

I just said that I’m only trying to give him the best advice to save him from years of struggling with trying to quit an addiction, and that I cared about him enough to try to help him.

The point is, this should be something that is more common. This could save people from so much struggling in life and could save them from addiction and suffering. It should definitely be talked about more.

 

If he’s older and he can understand where your coming from and that you are trying to help him. Go for it. But if he’s younger (under than 10 or 11) confront him and tell him it’s ok and he’s not in trouble, then explain that looking at [word of choice] pictures/videos makes people unhappy later in life, and how people struggle with that in their life later on. I’m no expert, but that’s the best advice I can give. Good luck!

 

Thanks man but what’s funny about it?

 

It may have been to awkward for him to confront you about it, or a may have never had a problem with porn (an addiction and side effects). It can be a very personal topic in our society, hopefully sometime in the future we can accept it as a problem and everyone can be open to talking about safety and staying away from it.

 

Most.

 

Yes, I’m aware that using porn once a month cannot possibly cause an addiction or pose any risks. However, I told him to stay away because it can escalate like it does with many. You are right too, on how people will do what they want to. That’s fine if my little brother continues. I can just hope he considers my advice. I read this on a forum once...

“Porn is a sly demon, you don’t realize it’s a problem until you wake up one day and your depressed, anxious and have a problem controlling it’s use.”

I believe that things are also a lot more likely to escalate with porn when people are unaware that it is not safe.

In 2017, if I knew where I would’ve been in 2018. I would’ve stopped. Right. Then. There. Period.

I wish I knew the things I know now then. I’m only 17!

I do believe what I did was necessary. Not in a nosy or privacy invading way one bit. If I never said a thing to him, I bet if he developed a problem with porn, he would’ve wished that he knew the dangers of its use sooner as well.

 

I know not all parents deny the harmful effects of porn. But I know that not one single adult in my family is aware of these effects. I never did say all parents deny the effects of porn, after all.

But your dad is ahead of the game! He knows some of the best advice there is to share with their kids in my opinion. It may seem extreme to say such a thing. But think about it. Porn destroys your life. Literally. Everything you need to succeed starts with not engaging in excessive masturbation. At least in my personal experience! That’s awesome that your dad is aware. As many parents are usually not. Your dad is among the parents that know.

It was weird, but I told my mom about these effects that were tolling on me and ruining my life (I had no choice).

My mom has always been the closest person I could talk to honestly. She was the only one I could trust. I was 16 and drained. Depressed. Hopeless.

I felt worthless but after discovering nofap I knew what I had to do. A problem shrinks when you let others know about it (not saying yell it on the street of course), but find someone you can really trust.

Even though I was close to my mom and she helped me through problems it was extremely weird telling her. I’ve always been especially Squeamish talking to my mom about girls, or even anything REMOTELY sexual. Once I ended up telling her, she couldn’t believe it. She didn’t think that was my problem for a while. I knew it was.

Fast forward through life and I started become better. She could see it and everyone in my family could. I told her I began abstaining from it for longer periods of time. Ever since it has been a mission of mine to stay away from porn and masturbation.


Porn and masturbation was the worst thing I could’ve done to my life. I would never want to see a person go through it if I can help it. That’s why I told my brother and warned him. It’s only a given.