Count the times you PMO

Here in NoFap we tend to focus on how long streaks we can keep, which is obviously important, but I feel like it's slightly besides the point. Aside from semen retention people the we are here because we want to pmo less, not because we want to not pmo more. Your initial thought might be that those are the same, but think again. Let's say you have a habit of pmoing once daily. Now you go on to have a 30 day streak. A respectable success I'd say. But if you relapse and then think "oh, now that I screwed it up already, I might as well enjoy myself before getting back on track" and then you pmo 30 times that day. The amount of your times pmoing hasn't actually reduced one bit.

So while I do encourage everyone to keep their streak goals in mind, I'd like to propose that you also take an addittional goal of pmoing as few times during this year as you can.

Personally while I do intent on doing a 90 day reboot this year, I think I'll also try to do 50 times of pmo during the year at most. This would mean a little less than once a week. A relatively modest and achievable goal if taken seriously, but still a huge improvement compared to the last year and less than most people with healthy relationship with pmo do.

You of course don't have to take the exact same goal. You could take for instance 12, 52 or 100. Hell, I'm sure even 365 would be an improvement for some of the worst addicts out there.

I feel like unless you plan to quit for good, this kind of goal is actually even better in the long run. Like who cares if you get to 90 days of nofap if you'll be pmoing twice as hard afterwards? As good as this kind of a streak challenge can be at first, constantly using your will power to long streaks with relapses in between isn't sustainable in the long run and sooner or later you'll need to either make the desicion of quitting for good, or find a way to develop a healthy natural relationship with masturbation.

 

And I vas here thinking I had come up with something new. XD
But that's really good. I wish this was as popular approach as the 90 day challenge is.

 

That would be good yes. Unfortunately it seems to be that our society is so busy trying to destigmatize masturbation that nobody seems to take the problems with compulsive masturbation seriously. At least personally when I told my psychologist on a sidenote that I was struggling to reduce the amount I masturbate, his first reaction was to start defending masturbation. We didn't talk about it further because it was besides the point. Maybe if I had explained my situation to him, he would have understood why I'm doing what I'm doing, but I think his initial reaction was very telling about the way he (and I would assume a lot of other mental health professionals) feels about masturbation. And I get it, because some people feel unnecessary shame about sexuality and especially masturbation, but it led me to believe that it could be difficult for a pmo addict to get their problems taken seriously.

 

It's good to hear that at least you received a good reaction. Gives me hope for other people seeking help.
Luckily enough I was able to not let my psychologist's reaction to weight me down. I didn't need his help and knew I was right, so it didn't matter to me what he thought.

 

Sure, but they are also supposed to challenge my thoughts. I think he could have handled it with a more open mind to what I'm getting at, but he didn't make any big mistakes. If I had went into it more and he would have kept insisting that his view is right, that would have been an actual mistake on his behalf.

 

Oh, ok, that would be totally inappropriate.