New here! Have a unique problem though....

Hello,

Im 34 now and have been watching porn for roughly 20 years. Deffinetly at a breaking point where through my own self awareness has led me to finding this community.

Ill try and keep it short as possible..

Ive been married for 8 years. My wife and I are very successful and each run our own companies. We also have two children together.

Ive felt Ive reached a point where if I continue down this path of watching porn I will cheat on my wife and not just with another female, but also possible a male! Im not even gay. I wouldnt even call myself bisexual.

It has gotten to the point of me starting to cross-dress and fantasise about taking on the role of a female. Ive read a few threads here actually with people having this same issue.

Ive never worn female clothes or even looked at another guy being attracted to them until this year. I was always attracted to females my whole life and always worked out at the gym to maintain a very masculine body.

I almost feel porn is changing my sexuality...

Now here is my "unique" issue, maybe its not unique and many other guys here can relate...

My wife looks like a porn star, but has a low sex drive! She has had a lot of plastic surgery, including her boobs, face and bum. She is incredibly attractive. But her sex drive is very low. Mainly due to looking after two toddlers and running a very busy company.

So my biggest trigger is my WIFE! I find her so dam incredibly sexy, no matter what shes wearing. But when she turns me down day after day.... It gets extremely hard for me not to turn to porn.

Some people are probably thinking by now, I went for a woman that looked like a porn star or I made her have these surgerys because of my addiction. Quite the opposite. When I met my wife she was a uni student. Quite nerdy looking actually, but highly intelligent with a beautiful perosnality. She wanted these surgerys herself.. and got them all after we were married.

Anyhow my point is, if my wife is my main trigger, what do i do lol.. I cant eliminate my wife.

I dont blame her for her low sex drive, its not her fault. As mentioned above our toddlers keep us up till late at night and once they goto bed my wife is passing out on the couch she is so exhausted...

But saying all that, I should be so lucky I have an amazing wife that really takes good care of her appearance...

I need to quit porn though before I ruin my amazing marriage.

I have a long hard road ahead of me