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P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. Anyways just to conclude porn is shit don’t use it because it will destroy you slowly and I am not rationalising it whatsoever. Wanking over pixels on a screen and wasting your seed is about one of the most dehumanising things you can do. Just looking at why we have these symptoms from a different angle as a possibility.

    And I hope that everyone gets better!
     
  2. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Big Lewboski - at what point in your recovery did the weird crazy anxiety dissapear?
     
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  3. Kindling does exist and I think I somehow kindled since my biggest binge yet, since april to august 2018. That was my longest and most severe withdrawals without any windows of relieve. The other withdrawals from nofap had a windows and wave pattern. (Like they have on benzobuddies) Some bad weeks, followed by some good weeks and this could last 120 days till I completely felt healed. This kindling (if you can call it that) phenomenom is hit or miss. Sometimes you get worser and longer withdrawal after long binge sessions. Sometimes you only get mild symptoms even tho you pretty much had full blown relapses for months. It's not back and white.

    After my benzo relapse I should have suffered a more long acting withdrawal with more detrimental symptoms than the first one. This also did not happen at all. I actually felt pretty good when stopping. No symptoms.

    Also kindling is more a phenomenom for sedative hypnotiq substances that work on the GABA and NMDA/AMPA systems like alcohol, barbiturates, benzodiazepines, methaqualone and meprobomate. GABAergic and glutamatergic substances. Porn use does not directly bind to these receptor systems. So kindling for porn withdrawal is just mainly bro science. (I also used the term pretty frequently tho)
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2020
  4. It’s hard to say at around 11 months in my anxiety levels considerably got better and slowly better each month. Around Xmas 2018 I was on holiday in the alps drunk a lot of caffeine and a bit off booze then went into a bit of a bad wave with symptoms as I come back home. Gave up booze for three months in 2019 and my anxiety lessened a bit and gave up caffeine for three months in August last year. My throbbing headaches went away and a load of other weird symptoms went and my anxiety was reduced also was sleeping a lot better but initially had shit few weeks from caffeine withdrawal.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2020
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  5. Couldn't agree more with you. I really believe you've cracked your own puzzle and you're at the beginning of everything getting better. Very happy for you.
     
  6. Cheers dude! I’m happy someone gets it. We‘ll all crack the puzzle sooner or later. It just takes time and trial and error to work out what’s what.

    Lets push for a successful 2020 and for every year beyond that, Godspeed!
     
  7. Without sounding narcissistic, I've cracked the puzzle mate, at least I feel like I have.

    You are realising all the same shit I realised right before I got better.
     
  8. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    I am very happy you are no longer suffering after such a long time but also concerned with your relapse cycle. Do your best to break out my man because i would hate to see you in a hole again :)

    I think that there is just too many factors that go into all these symptoms people are experiencing. Probably part of the reason that 'paws' is not really backed by science. For example, as i was reading i noticed two other people on this thread also used MDMA, as well as me. Maybe MDMA prolongs recovery by months? Maybe alcohol does? Maybe your job is making your recovery longer or maybe your not dealing with your emotions properly? Maybe you have food allergies? Maybe it is that your body and mind never relaxes to the point where recovery can happen quick enough due to fight or flight?

    The point is, who knows? Thousands of factors are at play here and i truly believe that all of us on here can 'recover' way faster than we think. We just need to keep finding answers for ourselves because each case is different and unique. Just always be open to the fact that maybe what we believe regarding this topic may not and probably won't be close to the truth. I would like to see everyone on here recover their lives as fast as possible, the ultimate goal:D
     
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  9. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, I won't and can't be listing all my streaks and symptoms variations on here. That would be too much work as things change constantly.
    But I know the feeling of wanting to know everything there is from everyone who has dealt or is dealing with this. But unfortunately we can't be putting up all our symptoms in a chart and how they progress over a period etc.
    Would be nice to maybe someday have some scientists conduct such studies though haha.

    You can look into my profile and find my theads.
    One of them you can find here: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...ms-probably-dealing-with-extreme-paws.222270/

    keep up the nofap work :)
     
  10. Younameit

    Younameit Fapstronaut

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    Bottom line?
     
  11. Younameit

    Younameit Fapstronaut

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    I remember you PMed me complaining about your appetite problems man
     
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  12. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, it's about overall lifestyle..

    PMO and edging are a lifestyle problem
    Sleepdeprivation and cycle dissonance is a lifestyle problem
    Eating anything after 19.00 is a lifestyle problem
    Caffeïne and alcohol are a lifestyle problem
    Not seeking connection, socially and/or spiritually, is a lifestyle problem
    Eating ANYTHING other than vegetables, fruits, non-farmed fish, nuts and seeds all organically is a lifestyle problem
    And many more things..

    This makes it very complicated when we try to compare. Life is vastly dynamic.

    Also try to find a way in accepting what you cannot control (such as 100% understanding of your emotional and fysical sensations from other people). I have found this to be very freeing.

    But we can only do that when we decide to truly be honest with ourselves and take 100% responsibility over what we CAN control.

    Then we are free of guilt, shame and victim mentality.

    But also be forgiving with yourself because you did not know before what you now do know.

    Personally, I would aswer "yes" to your 2 points. But that is for everyone, each of our stories, symptoms, path, etc. is unique.

    Please know that the spiritual divine always knows exactly what we feel and do. That will also give peace. You are seen and understood. So you stop needing other peoples approval and understanding of what your going through.
    And, again, this also makes it easier to say "this too shall pass, I will do my 100% responsibility and the rest is up to the divine"

    I sincerely hope this helps, buddy
    As I don't want you to stay frustrated and confused.
     
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  13. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate the words and reply, but I do generally think our approach and situations are different. I don't have any other issues that most people seem to have, I don't drink, I have always ate healthily and always have gone gym 4-5 times a week and played sports since a kid. Im a healthy dude.

    Theres none of what anyone says that is applicable to me; eat healthily, try to sleep, meditate etc etc - as I already do all these, and not half arsed, I do them alot.

    I also love my life, Im very fortunate. My life is pretty much externally stress free. I spend my days meditating and reading and generally chilling out. I also spent 2 months in silent meditation retreat this year - life is about as chilled as it could possibly be, but PAWS still suck.

    PAWS does suck - I don't want you to think that my life is something miserable, for what its worth it's the best it's been since I can remember in certain ways, as I now understand what life is about, and who I am. PAWS does suck though.

    My symptoms are unquestionable related to Porn which I started to stopped around 1 year ago, In last 10 months I relapsed 3 months ago to sex and porn for 1 day, which threw me back into a crazy flatline which I am now out of, and am continuing my journey. I have an intuitive feel I it will be around 18 months for me to be healed - Im currently at month 10 discounting my one relapse.

    When I fully heal, I'll write a descriptive concise manual and essay of my journey, for those following after me.
     
  14. Rexbrent

    Rexbrent Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed twice after 40 days , wher i stand now in term of progress
     
  15. I dont know how you meditate or even read with symptoms. Do you manage to absorb the text and even with meditating do you not have shortness of breath? I used to not be able to meditate because I couldn't relax and breathe properly.
     
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  16. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    The best way to get rid of the shortness of breath is uphill cycling. I suffered from shortness of breath because of chronic allergic rhinitis and astma. I had to take antihistamines and corticosteroids all of my adult life. A year of a 90 min outdoor uphill cycling 3-5 times a week later I don't need to take any of that shit anymore. My measured maximum rate of oxygen (VO2 max) used to be 18.3 (extremely poor even for +60 yo man and I'm 38). No wonder I was out of breath at any climb. A year later it's 47.2 (excellent) and still rising. If you have similar problems and are not heart related, hit the hills if you have any in your vicinity. It's literally a life saver. Yes, you will wish to die when climbing the hill and your mind will scream at you to stop, but if you can say "FU I'll get on that mountain top or die trying" and carry on doing it day after day after day, you'll reap tremendous health benefits. Combine this with Wim Hof breathing technic and you will be amazed at how deep your breath has become. I could hold my breath for only 30 seconds max a year ago, now my personal best is 284 seconds. Uphill cycling also had great benefits for my general level of fitness. I had hard time doing 10 push-ups a year ago, now I do 100 push-ups over the course of a day just for fun.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2020
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  17. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Meditation is only a problem for me with some of the higher states of consciousness, absoprtion states. You need your mind to be energetic and fresh, which is completely rare for me.

    I lift weights, I don't do any cardio at present - although weights is tougher then usual, I still always go 4-5 times a week
     
  18. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    I think you are already in relatively good shape then if you are able to workout.
    Are you able to join or are you already part of the workforce?

    I'd say, keep doing what you're doing and the lingering symptoms will disappear eventually :)
     
  19. Hisself

    Hisself Fapstronaut

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    Guys what can I do I’m losing my mind minute by minute. I’ve started no pmo in October 2016 and always get 6-14 months between relapses. It’s been 15 months since I watched porn and after 14 months I was feeling the best I felt in my life, I also recently had 2 successful sexual encounters after suffering pied for my whole life and for the past 6 months I’ve had loads of energy and drive towards meeting girls. In a moment of anxiety I reactivated Facebook and scrolled a girls profile I know and found a sexy pic I closed the screen but I know now that I was practicing my old escapist behavior in searching her Facebook. I closed out right away but I immediately had paws symptoms return with a vengeance after 10 months free of them. The next 6 days were spent exclusively in fight or flight mode and felt on the verge of premature ejaculation. Then I hit a one day flatline of shriveled dick and back to fight or flight mode mixed with severe suicidal depression. Since last night I went into deep flatline and a depression that has me suicidal. I went out last night and was around beautiful women and my personality felt like it evaporated, I had an intense desire to get out of there. Right before this exposure it finally felt like my libido was coming back in a healthy way. Now my dick is dead and my personality and confidence evaporatored. I’ve also started smoking again after quitting months ago on my last streak and I’ve been taking Xanax to sleep, I have been free of all drugs for months and now feel I need them to sleep without waking up with panic attacks. One “peek” or one 2 minute “dopamine search” seemed to fry my nerves and light up all those old pathways much stronger than ever before and much stronger than all of my rewiring and dating have over the past few months. I literally never thought I’d wind up here again and it has completely ruined my new year so far. I haven’t had sexual experiences until recently but I have at least a decade of heavy porn use I feel hope is lost and the life and personality I’ve struggled so hard to build is inevitably crumbling. What can I do please help I just want to get back to where I was 2 weeks ago without another year+ of struggle. Please any advice is appreciated this is the first time I have seriously contemplated suicide because I’ve put so much effort into improving myself and stayed offline for a long time to ensure my recovery. I take it very seriously and the thought that it could all disappear like that is literally killing me. After every binge or relapse I have still managed to keep up my workout routine but I am so demoralized that I have no motivation to go, if such a small slip that I caught and prevented can do this what chance at a happy life is there long term
     
  20. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, kudos first of all for having such self discipline by quitting PMO for such long streaks.

    I read you have been taking Xanax. Isn't that a benzo? Please make sure you aren't dealing with benzo withdrawal.
    As I read your post, I personally think you can look into www.benzobuddies.com
    Your problem sounds more like benzo PAWS. Which can be (especially in combination with prolonged PMO withdrawal) VERY VERY disturbing to your overal being and CNS.

    Please please look into that.

    You CAN and WILL HEAL from that!! Even if it takes longer than PMO withdrawal.

    Please look into the manual from Dr. Ashton on why, how, and what to expect from quitting benzo's.

    God bless you. You will get your life back mate. I have much respect for your long streaks. Keep at it!!
     
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