Quitting for good

So I managed to kick out alcohol from my life, which feels great, but I am still coming back to P.

I have tried to kick this habit for many years, but the cravings are merciless. I live alone, and relief is just two clicks away. But I always feel like shit after. Not to mention the amount of guilt and shame that is stored away in my unconscious.

I've tried rerouting my DNS, and blocking on my Android. These things work to a certain extent, but are in effect more like a little fence instead of a wall. It can easily be bypassed, and I do that within seconds of getting the craving.

I can go for maybe a week without relapsing, but then I binge like crazy, feeling drained and useless after. Soon after that depression kicks in.

Never had any issues with girls - getting them, keeping them and so on. But these days I just can't find the interest.

I want to live a life without negative habits and PMO is by far the most impairing one I have at the moment. I wish you luck on your journey whoever you are. Thanks to this community for being a guiding light in the fog.

 

Hello. Yes, that sounds a bit messed up. But everyone have their own challenges, and everyone beat themselves up about it.

Your marriage is going through a rough spot, and you seek some sort of relief. Some people turn to the bottle, others cheat and you turn to webcam-girls. I mean, it's "relatively harmless" for everyone else. What I mean is I think it's you who come out of feeling like a "deviant" and so on. At least you aren't hurting anyone?

I think you should'nt be too hard on yourself. I can relate to being exposed to my dads stash when I was just a kid. The world was never the same again!

This crazy world we live in constantly bombard us with commodities and consumerism. P and webcam-girls are just another aspect of that sort of cynical cashgrabbing. We are only human, wired in a certain way. If someone does so and so to us or present such and such to us then we will respond in certain ways. We cannot help our biology. It's not our fault. We've been duped.

Websites make money off of clicks and traffic, webcam-girls off of showing themselves without a thread in front of a camera, drug dealers off of junkies.

My point is that it could have been anyone. I have been addicted to gaming, P, alcohol, drugs and food. They're all just symptoms of deeper lying issues. In your case, maybe it's the marriage?

I hope you feel better

 

Hey guys, thanks for cheers!

Seven days in now. Feeling very motivated and have a lot of energy, but uh.. being alone and working at home dressed like a bum grants me easy access to uh, touching the snake.

Not a problem, yet..! But I can see how it might become one down the road.

There's a girl on the fence, sorta. She wanted me to sleep over at her place last night. We haven't done anything "groovy" together yet, but I know what's up. I told her I would like to do that some other time. But to be honest I really don't wanna start anything with anyone just yet. I wanna see this through for a while.

Ill make sure to drop by this forum more often!

Good luck!

 

How's it going now? Getting help from a professional, like suggested, might be a very good idea.

We can't bear it all on our own shoulders brother.