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New from the UK.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Jakeyb, Jan 6, 2020.

  1. Jakeyb

    Jakeyb New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    I'm in my mid 30s and have been using porn to masturbate to since I was about 13 with various levels of usage.
    I've suffered from ED in every long term relationship I've ever had (including a 7 year marriage) but have hidden this with kamagra pills bought online.
    After my divorce 2 years ago, I have been using prostitutes inbetween short term relationships and masterbating 4 - 5 times a day. This gets worse if I'm stressed or during a breakup where I'll use porn to masturbate up to 10 times a day which seems just out of sheer frustration and loneliness.
    I have a military job but my eating and sleeping patterns are terrible and my fitness seems to be steadily deteriorating, to the tune of being close to failing fitness tests.
    When I get into a relationship, they tend to go well and my need for porn almost disappears, but when the relationship ends, I seem to descend back into the dark hole.

    Started my streak yesterday to try and get my life back on track but I'm already fighting the urge to keep away from the streaming sites and brothels.

    Any tips to keep clean in the first few days? Does it get easier as the days go by?

    Thanks!
     
    romeolima, Jefe Rojo and engelman like this.
  2. It gets easier but it takes a while before that will happen - for me it gets easier after 3 to 4 weeks. I second what @engelman has written. I think the thing that will help you the most is mindfulness. Your brain is wired to view P and to M several times a day. There are probably many hidden reasons why you are addicted to this behavior. If you can abstain for a few weeks you will start feeling the benefits of being clean. It will motivate you to continue.

    I have been on NoFap for over a year and from what I have observed, there are three kinds of people who join. First, there are people who join for a few days, fail multiple times, and then give up. Second, there are people who stick it out had have moderate success but cannot sustain long term success because they are not committed enough. The third group of people are people who login here daily and who are committed to do whatever it takes to overcome this. They fail over and over and over and yet they pick themselves up and try again. They learn all they can about the addiction, they work to improve other areas of their life, the learn about their own vulnerabilities and triggers and they find healthy alternatives. Slowly but surely this last group finds long term success.

    You must be “all in” if you want to overcome this addiction. You can do it if you’re willing to stick around through thick and thin. I wish you the best.
     
    JamesTheSquirrel likes this.
  3. LakeMichigan

    LakeMichigan Fapstronaut

    @Jakeyb welcome to nofap! I am glad you made a decision to turn around your life. This is a great place to address your PMO issues. I agree with the above two posts. Things may not become easy very fast because it will take time to figure out what the issues are in the first place but you won't be able to find the issues unless something is not exactly going expected and wonder why it is not going as expected. However, with proper planning, you will accumulate porn free days and you will notice life is better without porn. Keep coming and you will gain a lot of insight and that will help you make progress.

    I wish you good luck!
     
    Jefe Rojo likes this.
  4. romeolima

    romeolima Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the forum. One great area of focus for me has been sport, given your fitness issues and presumably good access to fitness/sport via the military I would have though this would be a good avenue for you too.

    I find that after a good hour or so in the gym I haven't the motivation to look up porn and masturbate.

    I can't offer any words of help on the ED side i'm afraid.

    Good luck on your journey.
     

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