P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

3 years until the tables started to turn in my favor
not fully healed though

 

Is that with zero relapses or slips? Did you do much rewiring in those 3 years?

 

first two years I relapsed a couple of times, never binged, no relapse in the 3rd year
Yes, I probably did, zero interest in porn, that's great, no urges to watch it either

 

2 weeks ago and yesterday
It's in the thread: "watch porn after 16 months hardmode"

 

@Younameit thank you for the information, it really is helpful for me and I'm sure others.

So basically you had 3 years to recover, and during the first two years had 2-3 relapses, is this correct?

And to reconfirm it was around 3 years before you felt normal again?

Honestly my friend Im at month 10 and feeling somewhat better, if you have been through what Im going through then you'll relate. Like I said Im financially free so my life is still good, I just feel disabled basically, but its scary thinking this could last another 2 years.

But Im in until I pay my debt, in full, I will reach the final goal

 

about 4 relapses the first year and 3 in the second year
3 years for me to not feel shitty all the time, all the symptoms were unbearable, flatline, extreme anhedonia, extreme brain fog, depression, no energy etc.. I'm just better compared to the prior years but not 100% normal, still no libido for instance but a lot has improved, like my physical energy/stamina, brain fog, muscle pain, sleep etc

 

see what you can do, maybe take some medication, or transcranial magnetic stimulation, I've heard it's good for depression
I was definitely an extreme case

 

I wasn't the only one, beanburrito, saneagain, big lebowski for instance also had 2+ year flatlines

 

I'm in a very peculiar situation
anhedonia lifted a bit (to me, the worst symptom of the flatline) but I'm still neutral, everything around me feels so-so, it's like life overall is neutral emotionally speaking
It's like I'm retraining my brain to learn and enjoy the things I have to do like work, exercise, tasks etc..
the thing that bothered my during those first 3 years was that my anhedonia was so extreme that I would have this constant cognitive pain 24/7 , just living was painful, there were days where I'd wake up so drained and lifeless that all I wanted was for that day to end (immediately after I'd wake up, firsr thing in my mind, can you imagine that?) I knew that was going to be a shitty day cause I was feeling shitty right from the beginning of the day
dude.. those were dark periods...
even taking a shower was painful somehow
my emotions are still flat, the good news is, I have above average days every 2 weeks, like 1 or 2 days then I go back to this flatline for more two weeks
Like freedom taker said it's frustrating to not know what the fuck is going on
one thing is certain: stay away from PMO

 

My main thing is this crazy weird social anxiety - how long until did that stop for you?

The rest of the issues are childs play to this

 

yeah, unfortunately it's part of the symptoms
it's like you can't connect to others socially

 

Well like I said , every time I went on a mega long streak I then messed up and binged for a minimum of 6 months and on other times more, so there's no real chance that all these long periods somehow added up together.

I don't want to sound narcissistic here but if other people who have healed have said what I'm saying, and now I'm also saying it then why is there so much doubt? It's not like I'm some dipshit straight off a 2 month streak lol I've done years and years of this just like many people here.

I say I'm 95% because I'm genuinely not sure what 100% is. I'm symptom free so in that sense I'm 100% but I have a fucked up response to prolonged stress particularly at work and it's hard to know how much of that is just my personality.


I would never say it's as easy as just coming off the forum, that is part of it but you have to genuinely believe that you are going to be okay and not give a shit about it, you have to change the way you react to stress in your life, some people need to go outside and have a purpose. There is no concrete formula for every person because everyone's different.

There is science and hard data behind what I'm saying in relation to addiction and recovery but I'm not really very capable of explaining it in a coherent way.

 

We basically have exactly the same view and thought process on everything so far, I concur fully with what is written here. Darksetur's posts, like previously mentioned are the ones I found most helpful and resonated with me.

I've spent 2 months in silence this year in meditation retreat, I've attained 1st stage enlightenment (sotapanna) within the Buddhist tradition, and attained the rupa Jhanas. And it didn't effect the physiological symptoms at all. It has a ton of other benefits - which I will write about once healed, as it completely changed my life for the better and forever am grateful for Buddhadharma.

But it didnt fix or remove any symptoms of PAWS, unfortunately. This is another evidence of the Karmic effect of our actions, we have a debt to pay, and be paid in full it shall.

 

Hi,

I'm looking for the posts mentioned above by Darksektur, but can't find them - can anyone point me in the right direction?

Thanks.

 

Type 18 months of PAWS ON Google

 

Couldn't find it

 

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...drawal-and-my-symptoms-can-you-relate.164085/

 

"Indeed, one will never know the value of something until it's lost. Dear fapstronaut, do away with your addiction as much as you can after that you will still have to work hard to readjust and lead a successful life. That's double task for we addicts." - DarkSektur

 

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/how-long-does-it-really-take-to-recover.165786/

Second thread from DarkSektur

 

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/this-we-should-come-to-terms-with.179849/

Third and last thread from DarkSektur
(@whysolong I think you'll also like his first point )