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Dealing with mental illness

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by NF SINCE BIRTH, Dec 10, 2019.

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  1. Jan 8, 2020 #41
    NF SINCE BIRTH

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    I feel more ready to leave on monday. No idea how stuff is going to go. Its back to scratch. Have to start at the beginning with building relationships etc. I am going to meet a girl at a sushi shop close by. She lives a short bus ride from me. Other than that I have a good friend I am going to get back in touch with.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Jan 8, 2020
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Jan 8, 2020
    #41
    whiteflag70 likes this.
  2. Jan 8, 2020 #42
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    ok then. I'll be here.
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 8, 2020
    Deleted Account, Jan 8, 2020
    #42
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  3. Jan 9, 2020 #43
    NF SINCE BIRTH

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    My crush leaves tomorrow. Not sure about her. She is sending me mixed signals. She doesnt seem like a very touchy person but I think it is just her being insecure. She is probably not a great match. I never believed I was going to marry her or anything but I like her and we have nice chemistry. I will keep going after her for a while but I believe I will find someone else if this goes south. I am over 10 days PMO free now. I feel different. Real emotions. More rational in a way. I am also almost off my medz now. That gives me a clearer mind.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Jan 9, 2020
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Jan 9, 2020
    #43
    icebreaker polarstern likes this.
  4. Jan 10, 2020 #44
    Randy Andy

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    I would agree with what been said about taking meds that are prescribed by people more qualified than me and at the same time can speak to having a lot of those thoughts patterns and feelings without having any mental illness. Of course I could have one and not have been diagnosed, my story is I don't have one and each person can decide at any given time whether they think that's true, false or something else. :)
    But based on reading what you've shared I've also had some suicidal ideation, hatred, paranoia, intense judgmentalism of others as "stupid" etc, not wanting to take meds etc. Maybe it's a spectrum where most people experience a little of that and others experience a lot. In my case every time I thought about killing myself I had used pm+ within the last 48 hours. Not every time I acted out did I feel like killing myself but the Converse was true. The same with self harming . Obviously everyone is different there are lots of people who have those experiences with no relation to pm+ I just say it in case there's anyone who relates and wants to get free.
    When I ran away from my problems they either waited for be or followed me. Some I think were due to the fact that wherever I go I take me with me. Those are the problems I was creating, so running was useless it seemed like the problems were about by situation in life but I was my problem and pm+ made my problem worse :)
    Thanks for posting I hope it all works out for you :)
     
    Randy Andy, Jan 10, 2020
    Randy Andy, Jan 10, 2020
    #44
  5. Jan 11, 2020 #45
    GREGOR hulse

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    Doesn't matter if you were spiritual or not. Pray to God. Ask him for help
    This could be a devils work.
    My advice )
     
    GREGOR hulse, Jan 11, 2020
    GREGOR hulse, Jan 11, 2020
    #45
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  6. Jan 13, 2020 #46
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    How was your first day "out"?
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 13, 2020
    Deleted Account, Jan 13, 2020
    #46
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  7. Feb 1, 2020 #47
    NF SINCE BIRTH

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    I have been out for about 2 weeks now and everything seem a little chaotic. I woke up at midnight for the third day in a row from a terrible dream. I tried to go back to sleep but a voice coming from my window whispered something quite frightening. I ignored it at first but after it repeated itself 4 times I gave up going back to sleep. I signed a contract for a new apartment a couple days ago. I thought it was clear that I was allowed to bring a cat. I wouldnt even consider moving if I could not bring one. But now after I signed the contract they changed their minds. I also terminated my current contract so now I have to move. Stupid lying landlord. I wont accept that. I hope they realise what a mess they are making for me. I am going to the psychologist 2 times a week atm. Got nurses visiting me at home 2 hours a day. Taxi is picking me up almost daily to drive me to appointments. I am super stressed. I think too much stuff is happening all at once and right now I am not even sure about where I am going to live. Hopefully I can terminate my contract with this new stupid landlord. Or maybe im lucky and they are afraid of snakes. Maybe I should buy a giant one so I scare them from visiting.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Feb 1, 2020
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Feb 1, 2020
    #47
  8. Feb 4, 2020 #48
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    Good to hear from you again and have you back!
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 4, 2020
    Deleted Account, Feb 4, 2020
    #48
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
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