Abstaining is not the way

Interesting thread this one, regardless of pros own personal views etc it's good to hear new experience and knowledge.

Planning on another read when I have some more time, but this quote jumped out to me personally. The mismatch in my own relationship has been a factor in my pmo use, as you've said somewhere else; an event triggers pmo not the other way round. But sometimes, pmo can then trigger an escalation of the initial issue as well.

Not saying anyone is right or wrong on here. Just an interested party.

 

look I get it, you like therapy, you are voicing that it helped you, though don't disparage others here because you don't agree with the forum, it's beneath a guy who is supposedly above it all.

This helps us because it's a type of therapy, talking to a group vs talking to a therapist, which is just a person at the end of the day.

 

because it's expensive, and it's not covered by medical, and if it doesn't work out with one doctor you have to go through it all again with another, it's not the best thing in the world to live the trauma over and over and over.

It's good that you found help though, what would you say would help those of us that can't visit a therapist due to any number of reasons

 

wow

 

TL;DR

 

You’re like some kind of inarticulate monk.

Not all of us here are/ were like you, which I think you’re struggling to understand. Many here have realised their porn addiction BECAUSE of a real relationship with a real person. I, for one, am married and dealing with this. A lot are suffering with ED, PIED, PE etc. which will have come up in real sexual encounters. We’re not all here for the same reasons so stop presuming we are. It’s insulting, patronising and just plain ignorant.

Namaste.

 

You know what, I can see where you're coming from @Venkolm . And that quote I picked up on I think sums up post of my issues.

I've done 40 days no pmo now which hasn't been too bad when the Mrs was up for some sex. But at the mo I was working away a bit last week, she's not quite in the mood for anything now, and she's away all next week. And I'm climbing the fucking walls with sexual frustration and being tempted back to p-subs more and wanting to mo as well.

I'm a sexual person and always have been, I liked pushing my own boundaries in that regard which did get out of hand with porn, but if there was the option of that sort of relationship in real life I don't think I'd crave it as much.

Basically, I agree as humans we do need a sexual relationship to feel whole.

 

I agree with Treyball 1000%! Do not be fooled; porn addiction is real and I believe that you must absolutely abstain from it if you are addicted and truly want to recover. I tried the whole I'll only do it x time a month or whatever and I'd always end up breaking that limit and be back to square 1 with the addiction. I'm not saying the nofap way is the only way, but it has helped me tremendously to know that I'm not the only one suffering from this addiction and to learn lessons from other peoples stories.

 

I understand your frustration, Jonny. But, it sounds like you never slipped very far down the rabbit hole. You seem to have full penis function after 40 days. That’s great.

I’m at 20 days. I’m getting morning wood but tried last night to have sex and it was a fail.

There’s this extremely hot Dominicana who wants to fuck me. I keep putting her off because my junk won’t work.

If you go back to porn, you’ll eventually get as broken as I am. Some guys on here seem much worse than I am.

I need to get this out of my life - because I am a very sexual person.

My best advice is to work on your relationship with your wife so that she wants sex more often.

Porn is not the answer.

Just my two cents.

 

@Venkolm

Well I just went a couple days of trying to fight my ocd, and it was hard.

I honestly think there is a difference between OCD that is porn induced and natural OCD, even though I do have both.

I just gave in, I just looked at gay porn and found it disgusting and had no arousal, then got hard from looking at pictures of naked women. But my mind still has me convinced I’m gay.

your right, I should see a therapist, but what is a therapist going to do for me? They will tell me to do exactly what I am doing.

I can’t just go have sex with women. For some reason, the only thing that gets me really horny, is incest porn. I get this huge dopamine explosion from it every time, and normal porn is very boring to me now.

when I don’t answer my thoughts and just let them be, I do notice the anxiety fades a lot faster, but the uncertainty is fucking killing me, i start to believe I’m gay or bisexual. Sometimes I am literally unable to do anything else until I look for reassurance, literally these thoughts bring that much distress.

like I said this is my second time with HOCD, I beat it once and my life went back to normal. My attractions to girls were back, and I even fell in love. Now I’m stuck in it again and I’m dying.

soon I’m going to stay off this website, cause your right it doesn’t help with my problem, the reason my pmo addiction continues is because my need to check gay porn vs straight porn to see which I like.

I’m so unhappy, but I understand discipline, so I won’t let it get in the way of my real life priorities. I have no interest to hang out with friends or go out anymore.... I just don’t want to, my OCD is destroying me. Also my feelings for that girl hurts, and I feel like my ocd is using it against me bro, I want her but my mind keeps saying I’m gay and I don’t...

I just want to be free... I want to be happy. I think I’m just gonna abstain from PMO for atleast 50 days, and try to recover from my escalation. Maybe even 100 days... but I just want my vanilla taste to return, then I can start to rewire.

Also it doesn’t help that my mind tells me every guy I see is attractive or hot.

 

Oh god yeah, don't think this is me bailing on the nofap idea. But I can understand that the theory of having a relationship that fulfils your sexual needs would mean you're less likely to turn to porn.

 

NoFap is a catalyst. It won't give you superpowers, it will just give you the energy and motivation to gain superpowers. You'll have to workout, study, go out and hang out with people. So yes, you are right.

But since you've never been a frequent porn user or had no taste in weird fetishes, you wouldn't understand what other people are going through. Remember, everyone has a different journey. You are right when you say nofap is the better way not the best, but at the same time the other guy is also right when he says nofap cured his ED.

 

Are you male ? , from the way you compose your posts i believe you are a female troll.
You are just trying to upset the men on here.

 

From your silence it seems I was right.

 

Yeah sure .