I’ve failed as a man (vent warning)

I'm sorry to read this.
I hope things get better for you.

 

Since I am nearly double your age, I will say you are still young enough to get your life going. You are obviously no dummy, that's clear enough. You are rightfully pissed off about a few things and rightfully counting your blessings. Again, no dummy.
It may be time to admit that your career in the arts is not panning out. Deal with it.
Let anyone who is helping you know that you are determined to do better and that this period in your life is temporary. And get on it.
Forgive me if this is harsh, but you sound quite a bit like me when I was 30 and I needed someone to wake me up at that age - to stop dreaming and start being the man I needed to be. I'm still a work in progress, but boy oh boy, I would fucking kill to be 30 right now.

 

Bro, i feel your struggle. The only thing i can say is, i understand what you are feeling. Don't give up of your passion, one day your luck on it wil lchange...Don't give up in the heat of the battle, you are a winner.

 

You see it all black because you are in the days after the relapse. Take this demotivation feeling and grow. We use the PMO to not fight, for dont feel pain in this life, and for dont face the frustration. All of us here have bad tolerance to the frustration. That pain you feel now is good, look it to the eyes and face it with strength!

Start using your time to think about how to be a better and more productive person and concentrate those desire for sex with the P to seduce those same pretty girls in the reality (there are many books and information on youtube about how to flirt rightly)

 

man, come talk in my tread, ill share my storie, don't blame yourself i am in the same situation as yours 31, no job, no girlfriend, fapping to wrong kind of porn. talk to me.

 

Looks like you're a nice guy man. Read the book called Not Nice by Dr Aziz or download it online.

 

Are you in the UK? A friend of mine got CBT on the NHS. You'd probably have to wait a while but the sooner you get on the list the better.
I was in a similar place to you last year but I've fought hard and now my mindset is completely different.
Do you believe you can change?

 

Be patient and keep fighting! Dont give up! You will get it

 

Head up and go ahead buddy,take situation in your hands.

 

Hey RobinCoenBrosFan,

It sounds like you have lost control of your life. External forces are pushing you in directions you don't want to go, and no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to win. This is a very tough spot to be in, I feel for you man. But don't give up! Every day is a new day, a new opportunity to start over and be better. You can take your life back.

I would recommend getting one healthy daily habit. This could be getting up at the same time, eating a healthy lunch, going to the gym, meditating, keeping a journal, going on a walk, etc. I like to center my habits around the start of my day because I feel like it is when I have the most control, but it is up to you! Create one thing in your life that YOU control and protect it. This small habit is yours and yours alone; it is the foundation you will use to take back your life.

I would also recommend looking for a role model. Find someone you look up to - someone who has their life in order - and spend as much time as you can with them. Surround yourself by their ideas and think about what they are saying critically. This can be hard to do in real life, so start online! For me, this was Jordan Peterson. He has two books, a podcast, and tons of content on YouTube.

Finally, be only as hard on yourself as you would be with someone you care about. You are only human and life is hard. Unwarranted shaming and abuse will not help! Take life one day at a time and give it your all. You got it!

Just my two cents,
beyondPeterPan

 

RobinCoenBrosFan: "Patience never has been my strong suit"

This seems to have been written by me a long time ago!

Before nofap I got angry more easily with the people. In fact, I was fired from work for arguing with my bosses many times. I also had few patience with the girls without success flirting with them obviously.

I have a regular phone since 2 years for avoid problems (not an smartphone). Because with whatsapp, facebook, etc... I discussed many times with the girls who was atracting me. And finally I block them in the chat, or they blocked me

The key is not only nofap. Do meditation every day, or whenver you can. I promise you this habit will change your life

 

Hello,
I will be quite honest with you. And also a heretic here.

You need to man up and get a proper job, even if its not related to arts.
Maybe even plumbing or something, it can actually make good cash.
At you age you really ought to have a job going and be able to support a family.

Without this, you will not be able to get a GF.

This is even more important than NoFap for you at this point.