Is it natural for your best friend to ditch you if they get a girlfriend or get married?

That’s what happens when people get married or get into a serious relationship. I’m single at 43 and basically have no friends left. They all got married and had kids. The thing is, they all have friends, but they’re all married couples with kids also. If you’re single and you want friends, you have to find other single people to hang out with because apparently couples don’t like the company of single people. But you’re right, as soon as a friend becomes single again, they suddenly need a wing man and start contacting old friends. This is why I think most relationships are just temporary until you find your partner in life. Can’t really blame them I guess.

 

...Huh? Wait, his wife has a boyfriend?

Anyway, yeah, that's pretty normal. To me, it's better to spend time with your wife than your friend.

 

Same as what mothers have been told.

“Your son is your son until he has a wife, but daughters are for life.” Or something to that extent.

To be honest, I haven’t kept in touch with too many friends ever since I got married. But that could also be because I moved halfway across the world.

 

yeah, couples hang with couples and singles hang with singles, that's why there are movies about couples that have a bachelor friend and at the end of the movie he's either forgotten or in a relationship, and happily ever after... it's almost considered weird in society nowadays if you are single and you hang with couples.

It's one of life's hard truths, socially speaking.

 

Yeah that’s how I lost all my childhood friends. They’re all married and I’m pretty much the last single one left

 

turn that into your power and do your best to transform, while your friends are being drained and start slipping, you can say you dodged the bullet just like Neo

 

I'm a little different. A few years ago a friend decided to get married. Then he turned into a complete [swear word], perhaps because of the stress of the upcoming wedding and all that.

He'd always been a bit of an idiot, but this really brought out his bad side. So I went to his wedding but that was basically it. Now I've blocked his phone number and everything.

 

I experienced same,my friend got girlfriend too,before that we spend much time together,training,drinking together,hang out,helping each other etc.Now i see him 1 time per month.In last time i m the one who call,but i don't want to call anymore.Tragedy is we know each other our half life.

 

Time, situation, money, relationships, opportunities etc. change people. That's a universal truth. (It doesn't mean that everyone is affected in the same way, some people change dramatically, others' changes are barely noticeable.)

 

After getting married and having kids, my buddy and I (and our wives are friends to) just seemed to go our separate ways. We'd stay a bit in touch, but never got together. This went on for 20 years. But we recently had a nice get together and it was great. We just came back to a point in our lives where we have the time and inclination to hang out again. In the long run, we are still good friends. So give people their space. They have entered an entirely new area of life. Respect them and stay in touch, but don't be surprised if you are not included in their plans for years. Real friends stay friends, even though they may not hang for years.

 

Have you actually messaged him?
My guess is he's wrapped up in married life right now. house, kids?, love, sex, money, etc. He's probably not doing it intentionally and more than likely has no idea he's doing it.

My advice would be to ask when he's free in the next few weeks (it may take that long to see when he's free from "the mrs" haha) and arrange a place to meet.

Alternatively, you could be honest and message him and say, "oi mate where you been?!"

 

It's not normal, per se, but it is far from unheard of. Many people change their sphere of socialization/influence as their life circumstances change. Getting married and having a child are the two most common causes of friends, and even family members relationships change; either by becoming closer and solidifying the relationship, or by slowly drifting apart, until there are only remnants of a relationship that once was. It typically doesn't reflect on you or the other person personally (there was no betrayal or manipulation), so much as it is caused when peoples priorities shift as the dynamics of their daily life changes.

Trying to contact your friend, so long as you respect that their situation has changed, is not a bad idea. Perhaps you could invite them on a double-date, or a group gathers, so you can keep in touch. If you can respect their new time constraints, it is possible to maintain a friendship. Getting to know their new significant other is also a good way to keep in touch. Whatever you do, avoid trying to put a wedge between your friend and their love interest. It rarely works out in your favor.