LinkedIN as porn Substitute?? Is this possible?

If only NoFap had a 'Dislike' button. I'm disappointed that anyone who has spent any time on this site would have so little empathy for the feelings of an SO.

 

I am empathizing with the OP's significant other. Sorry to be blunt but this is 'nofap', we should be catering for the 'men' that have issues. OP is essentially stalking her husband, but people are offering her sympathy. Its not right man....

 

Except that they have nothing to do with his profession and he’s cheated/been with hookers in the past. She’s just trying to find out if she’s crazy for suspecting her lying, cheating, gaslighting, sex addicted husband. Unfortunately, I think she knows the truth, she’s just trying to validate it because she’s been lied to so much.

 

Oh please. It's obviously not his professional connections, it's obviously not even half ok, it's obviously creepy as fuck and it's obviously not appropriate behaviour for a 60 year old man. "Everyone does it" is a phrase from the ancient Bullshitting language and loosely translates into "I feel better by thinking everyone is as bad as I am".

Educate yourself in what it means to be an SO before you come in to this section to insult women who are going through absolute hell.

 

ah yes the women come to support the woman. what more could be expected?

 

I would rephrase that to sane people supporting other sane people.

 

why are you even on NoFap's forum? just to waste time or harass the men with actual porn addiction problems?
because all i see is harassment on here from you and other women who don't know how hard it is to stop watching porn.
and your smart ass comments are honestly old....

 

Why are you in the relationship forum if you feel harrassed and threatened by women? I'm relieved you don't appreciate my comments, because if you did, I would know I wrote something terribly ignorant and insensitive.

 

I’d say us “ women” know far more about porn addiction and how difficult it is to stop than you know anything about betrayed trauma and how it changes the wife/so brain. I know that I’ve done months of research, read more books and studied the brain changes than my husband has. I know that I have spent hours talking with my csat, and my pa husband about how difficult it is and how to best tackle the problem. I know that I’ve had a 27 year marriage that has been horribly affected by pa. What’s your longest relationship? How did your pa affect it and your so? Why are you in the partner forum if you don’t want to know how to work with a partner? Because in a marriage, it’s not all about you.

 

forum is about rebooting in a relationship, not about how to determine if your husband is cheating or not.
im not gonna share any information about my ex-girlfriends because frankly its none of your business.
im just confused why so many women are on this forum but don't even have a porn addiction themselves....

 

Take a breath and look at this a bit before you critique, @ahighertruth

Diagram out the bigger picture here;
You mention your ex girlfriends. They are part of your world and their opinions are grist for your recovery, whatever they were.

 

@Psalm27:1my light I think you may be forgetting one thing. And that is that when a little boy is in a relationship, whether its a marriage or not, it SHOULD'NT be about either one person involved. But when a boy is involved, as in the case of @ahighertruth, then yes, he will make it all about himself, as he has clearly done here.

Well, to educate an idiot, they’re here for support, information, and understanding, things you clearly have never had anything to do with, so don’t worry about why they’re here. What do you care why they’re here anyway??? Why are you here?! (I mean, aside from judging people and bashing them, obviously.) Your first post on this thread was to tell her to stop being so concerned about her husband’s professional connections. You know NOTHING about his connections, his past, or their marriage, so seriously, do you have any reason to be here other than to tell this woman that she’s overreacting at her husband’s inappropriate behavior? Get a clue, man.


And for the record, no, not everyone does it. I don’t do it, and no one in my SA group does it.

 

spotted the feminist male...im not even talkin to you or about you. concentrate on not fapping.

 

What a weird platform to scout women, I have a Linkin profile but this platform is way too dry to do this, maybe he's doing what you say, imo I could be wrong but vast gaps in age is a niche that not a lot of people enjoy

 

FIRST OFF, there is absolutely no reason at all whatsoever to come into a thread and post nothing but insults and arguments just to be a pain in the ass. So if that’s all you’re here to do, get lost! The adults are trying to work on real problems here.

Second, I don’t care who you’re talking to….I’m talking to YOU.

Third, since you obviously have ZERO understanding of BT or what its like for a person to be hit with a sexual addiction of their spouse, you need to stop talking about it. It is ABSOLUTELY right for people to offer her sympathy and any help we possibly can because her husband is in the wrong, and if you don’t see that, you’re NOT in recovery, plain and simple.

Fourth, don't worry about what I'm concentrating on, small fry. Maybe get a counter of your own before you start puking out all that trash advice.

Fifth, and I’m VERY happy to burst your bubble here brainwave……there is a section on the forum titled, “Partner Support - A support section for partners of people who have had or currently have PMO-related problems.” So the “support” they would get could involve asking for help in identifying the true intentions of her husband’s actions. For cryin’ out loud, read a book, twerp!! You're about as insightful as that Veruca Salt. Actually, you're like a cross between Veruca Salt, Nellie Olsen, Arnold Horshack, and that Amanda girl from the Addams Family movies.

And lastly, OF COURSE you’re not going to share any of your personal information. That would prove how little you actually know about any of this. And while we’re on the subject, how is it that your ex-girlfriends are none of their business, but you’ve somehow made if your business to tell this woman that she’s out of line for questioning the inappropriate actions of her husband? Yes she asked, but if your exes aren’t her business, maybe think about not being a childish and immature hypocrite for once.

 

Wow dude you are really taking these things to heart, you literally took everything i said out of context. Do you honestly think having a controlling girlfriend would make me more knowledgeable on this topic? Im defending her husband which not one person has even thought of because of the 'lack of empathy and sympathy' and whatever ignorant assumptions that can be made here. Yeah I was porn addicted with a girlfriend, and I am glad she didn't make it worse by constantly monitoring what I was doing...

You really need to chill out man, putting down others doesn't make you a bigger man.

 

The world is multi dimensional for a reason, we are complex with many perspectives overlapping, friction may apply.

 

Really, no one over the age of 15 care for that sort of comments. You will notice the hard way that there is plenty of men out there who doesn't take lightly to insulting behaviour towards women, and that women will gravitate towards those men in all aspects of life. If you continuously fail to have meaningful interactions with females, which your posts implies, then this might be something you need to address urgently. Being a 31 year old incel, especially one that trolls relationship forums, is pitiful at best.

Another thing that will likely come as a huge surprise for you is that everyone in your vicinity is checking up on what you are about. What you call "controlling" behaviour is in fact people looking out for their own interests, which they have every right to do. If you apply for a loan, the bank will look into your finances. If you apply for a job, the employer will comb the internet for signs of you being an unreliable person. Your girlfriend or wife will find out if you are creeping on LinkedIn or looking at porn behind her back, especially if you have risked her life before by visiting prostitutes. HPV and HIV can be deadly, and no one will value your "privacy" over their own physical or mental health.

You are in for a really rude awakening if you think that you exist in some kind of impenetrable bubble, where your online actions isn't, to a certain degree, monitored and judged.

Sorry if your ex girlfriends didn't tell you that before they took off.

 

Do "all men" look ogle young women? No. But, a lot do. Personally, even though I PMO, I don't ogle women, it just isn't my thing. But, a lot of guys I have met over the years do. I think a lot of them grew up that way, maybe their dad was that way. Is it possible for your husband to objectify women on LinkedIn and abstain from porn. Yes.

Is it immature or wrong for your husband to look at young women on LinkedIn... Well, that depends doesn't it. If I married someone who grew up ogling women and the people I respected did it too, then maybe I wouldn't think it was a big deal. And, for sure, there are lots of non-pornstar women who want to be ogled. Those women obviously don't think it is a big deal. So, yeah, maybe your husband thinks most men do it. I have met so many married men who wouldn't hesitate to go to a strip joint or wear dark glasses at the beach so they could watch women walk by. I'd guess that around 25% of the men I know are like that, could be more. And, furthermore I think the older pre-internet-porn generation is more likely to be that way because us younger guys didn't have to work so hard or spend any money to do those sorts of things. If your husband is 63, he had a good 30 years of his post-pubescent life where he developed his womanizing habits without the ease of free internet porn.

Why did you marry the man? It sounds like he had those bad habits before you married him, yet, there were still things that you fell in love with in spite of his dirty secrets. Contrary to what a lot of people say on these forums, porn, infidelity, immaturity, and all of those other problems a spouse might have, do not make that person unlovable or a bad person. We can have flaws and still bring joy into other people's lives. You don't even need to forgive him, instead just trust that on his best days he is the same man you married, and that deep down he wants to be that man every day. Be on the same team as him. I am sure you have flaws too that he shouldn't let get in the way of his love for you.

I am only 38, but I talked with so many married men and all of us have our issues. I haven't met a single man who doesn't have a porn addiction level problem. Life is hard and the best thing we can do is find a spouse who will ride through the rough spots in life with us, love us even though we do some really shitty things sometimes.

 

I may not agree with much of what you say, JustADude, but that was a good example of how to engage on this forum without being hostile, willfully ignorant or downplaying other people's issues. A certain other user should take note.

ANH