A Fresh Start

I was exposed to porn when I was 4 years old and I remember how it made me feel when I put down the magazine and walked away. Through elementary school, middle, school, and high school porn and sex were at the center of my thinking. I noticed porn was an issue for me sophomore year of college. It got bad. I've never been so depressed in my life. I tried making changes and thankfully I had friends to help me out, but I eventually relapsed. I tried again a couple of years later while dating my girlfriend at the time. She brought up that it may be an issue and how it affected my mood. We decided to be abstinent so porn was my alternative. I was irritable a lot so I started to see individual counseling. Started going to SA meetings and it worked. It worked until it didn't. I relapsed again. So here I am again. I'm 25 now.

I just moved to a new city for work. Just finished grad school and I feel like it's time for a fresh start. I remember seeing a guy I look up to just have so much confidence, positivity and happiness and I was jealous. The first thing I thought was, "I bet he doesn't watch porn..." I want to have that feeling. I want to feel better about myself and rejuvenate my spirit.

Trying to go cold turkey and do PMO. Started last Wednesday so I'm at 5 days. Still don't fully know how to set my parameters because I looked at some pictures last night. No masturbating though. Maybe I'll just let the first one slide.

 

Thanks. I appreciate it.