Whats your tactic for approaching women?

It's hard to create a 'tactic' for this due to all the stuff that's going on. She may instantly like you upon seeing you, but she might not be single. She might see you as 'just another guy' but perhaps she just needs to be impressed with humor. Maybe she likes your jokes, but she might just not be in the mood to date you. Every person and situation is different.

Anyway.. they say 'daygame' is usually tougher. However, I would approach her as genuine as possible. And without any pressure. Your intention must not be to date her, but somewhere in the middle of trying to spark interest in you and have a friendly conversation. You also need to be in a good mood, think positively, otherwise you're going to be forcing it.

Best way though.. friends of friends, work places. Best way to gain trust. Any place where there is time to get to know eachother a bit more, and where people know you as that cool guy, makes it often easier.

And what to talk about? Anything and everything, as long as you don't try to please or impress on purpose. Stay calm, stay close to yourself. Humor always works well. Honesty too.

But hey, this is just my experience and thinking, someone else might tell you something totally different. Oh and.. aalways dress nicely, take care of yourself.. don't look or smell like a hobo.

 

This is really important. You gotta just start getting out there and doing it, don't go in with the mindset of trying to date every girl, just have fun being social, and evaluate what you can improve on after each interaction.

 

Full disclosure, I'm married so I haven't approached a woman in a long time. But going from past experiences I would say that for me, those 3 scenarios are in order of difficulty, highest first.

1. In the gym, the women who are hottest (best bodies) are often that way because they are there to work, not to chat up/pick up guys. Those were also the environments where I was most self-conscious, being in gym clothes that showed off my tallish but not very buff body. I just never felt I was bringing my most attractive self to the table in that environment. I know some guys swear by "gym game" because women tend to get horny when they're working out but for me it was never a very opportunity rich scene.

2. Libraries. I'm an introvert so I felt much more in my element here. Most women don't mind you asking them if they like what they're reading and/or what kind of book they are there to find. They are often there by themselves so you don't need to worry about cockblocking from their friends. And if they are there to study they may welcome the break/distraction you offer. If you find common ground around what she's reading that's great and if not, you can ask a few questions, find out a lot more about who she is by her answers, and learn more about the world at the same time. If she is clearly annoyed by the interruption it's easy enough to bail by just saying something like, "I'll let you get back to that but I just wanted to tell you you're beautiful and I hope you have a great day (evening)." Only the most cold hearted of b***hes would hold that approach against you.

3. Grocery store. This can be a home run or a total bust. Just this morning I was in a grocery store and the most amazingly cute petite 25-ish woman in glasses was making her way around. Had I been single I would have definitely been saying hello. Playing the clueless bachelor shopper looking for help frequently works, as long as it's not something like holding up a cucumber and saying, "Is this big enough?" On the other hand if you really look like you know your way around and you have a cart full of healthy stuff, the more observant women will deduce that here is a guy who not only cares about taking care of himself, but is self sufficent enough to cook. Both of which have a high chance of intriguing them. Sometimes though it's an obvious no-go. If she's with her kids and/or husband or SO, that's a clear abort. Sometimes you see a woman and she is clearly just wanting to get her business done and get out asap and those aren't good ones to try either. The other neat thing about grocery stores is if there's a cute checkout girl, you go to her lane and if she's not too busy, make a few lines of conversation with her while she's ringing you up. Especially if talking with pretty girls makes you nervous, this is a great way to build confidence. It's not like she can exactly run away and like I said if she's not busy she may actually keep the convo going for a while if there's anything about you that she likes. Those women spend their whole shift in "transactional" conversations and if you actually show personal interest they eat that up. I complimented one checkout girl on her glasses and she gave me a whole 3 minute spiel on where she got them, why she chose them, etc. Without me even pushing. Same thing with a bank teller and her watch.

This is a great thread. I'm eager to see what others have to say.

 

Yeah it's tricky when the girl you're attracted to is on the job. You said you wish you would have talked to her more, actually when a woman is talking you just want to keep your mouth shut and let her keep going. This is really hard cause we men are trying to think of the next witty thing to say that will impress her when we really just need to look her DEEP in the eyes, nod every now and then and let her keep going. If you can get comfortable with silence that puts the pressure on her to keep the conversation going. Which increases her level of investment and that's what you want.

 

There is no certain trick to keep a girl interested and i feel like being honest and yourself works best. That being said, there a few things that can help someone who struggles with conversations in general (like i myself sometimes do).

If she talks, you could try to sometimes repeat the last thing what she said in a empathetic voice to show interest. Don't overdo it of course. ("My car broke down" "Your car broke down?" ).

Talking to a girl at the library, especially when she works there, is hard. Maybe ask her a question regarding something you want to read, which has certain themes in it ("I like books with dragons" or whotnot, whatever you really like to read, and ask her if she can recommend something.) Then try to keep the conversation natural and ongoing. Did she read the book, what does she like to read? You should sense if she is getting uncomfortable or if she likes to chat with you. And maybe, if she seems to like the conversation, ask her out in the politest and friendliest manner possible. Full disclosure: I am no expert at all, just my opinion.