1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

I am a cold-hearted asshole

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by mma895, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. mma895

    mma895 Fapstronaut

    20
    15
    3
    Someone related to me died recently in a very tragic accident. This person was very close to me, we basically grew up together. I felt sad and a sense of loss but I didn't feel any deep emotions. I didn't cry. I didn't really FEEL the loss as I should have. Everyone else was getting all emotional and I felt terrible. Porn may or may not be the reason I am devoid of such emotions. Maybe I was born this way. But I had to share what I feel somewhere as this is eating me up inside.
     
    Johnny Bozo and Di.Do.555 like this.
  2. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

    1,607
    30,784
    143
    is a direct antagonizing statement to:
    Open your eyes.
    Lack of an emotional response does not mean lack of emotions. It implies a fault in the response element of your behavior, which can be caused due to addictions, depression, hormonal imbalances and many other factors.

    You're totally normal. Get over your addiction and you'll have more emotions and mood swings than you know what to do with.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  3. Been there. Don't be so hard on yourself. You grow older, you learn.
    P addiction does not help, that is one of the reasons to quit p. So quit, be kind to yourself, be around the right people, be inspired by the right people, you'l get there.
     
  4. When my grandmother died, I didn't cry. I was an porn addict, smoker, just a young stupid dude. Now I'm fuller of emotion and now I would cry for real, I can feel it. Don't worry about it so much - what matters is that you respect the guy, never forget days you had spent together with him and don't talk shit about him.
     
  5. Well, calling yourself a cold hearted asshole is not going to help, is it?
    Grieving is a weird process. It depends on a lot of age and experience.
    I have gone to funerals and I saw folks (let's say they were over 60) weeping like crazy, and they didn't even know the deceased. Why? They better understand the journey that the deceased's loved ones are just beginning. And they understand life better at that point too.
    Life's about living, learning, and growing. If you behaved exactly as you expected to, what room would there be for growth, learning or change?
    Think good thoughts about your departed one and stop feeling bad about yourself.
     
    hubbawulf1234 likes this.
  6. Lack of emotion indicates possible brain problem. And you feel uneasy because you do not get what you expect. This is good reason for alarm, you should visit a psychiatrist
    Porn use is the last thing I would worry about.
     
  7. Respectfully, this is not a cause for alarm. His feelings and concerns demonstrate real emotion. You may mean well, but your advice is potentially painful to a guy who already is hurting. Please think about your words.
     
  8. Respectfully, I will remind you that suggesting individual seeks professional help because he feels worried about his emotional health is about the most rational thing that can be suggested.
    Far more harm can come from suggesting otherwise.
     
  9. Yes, I do agree with the way you put that in your reply. It would have been helpful if you'd couched your terms in a more respectful way. "Lack of emotion indicates a brain problem." A brain problem?? Bit heavy, isn't it? And then, you say it's a "good reason for alarm." Alarm?
    If one feels worried about their emotional health, by all means, see a professional!
    But rubbing salt in the wound is helpful to no one. Again, please think about the words you use.
     
    PaulPaul likes this.
  10. I understand what you mean by use of words. I try to be more blunt when I suspect it maybe serious, so the individual takes it seriously. Lack of emotion is cause for concern as it can indicate brain disorder and should be examined professionally.
     
  11. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

    667
    3,382
    123
    You may have a delay reaction.
    Sometimes we get soo hurt that we freeze our emotions.
    That does not make you a a###.
    It makes u a human
     
  12. Johnny Bozo

    Johnny Bozo Fapstronaut

    78
    257
    53
    Western funeral grieving is abominable to me.

    Show up and be respectful do not feel guilty for not crying it doesn't mean you don't care.

    Heck I know Buddhists who encourage skipping Western cry fest funerals due to bad energy from all the despair!

    Edit: I mean whitey Western. Modern perhaps. Not sure about the details but look at how traditional Native American death rites didn't involve terrible emotional states maybe?

    Just an opinion.
     

Share This Page