Deep down I don’t believe I will ever break free from daily PMO

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BruceBeforeBatman, Jan 20, 2020.

  1. BruceBeforeBatman

    BruceBeforeBatman Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been thinking about this problem a lot lately. There’s a girl I want to date but she’s in another city and it kinda feels like it’s never going to happen. I’m finishing up my degree soon but it feels like I’ll never get a good job.

    I have fought saying this for a long time, but the truth is that I don’t think it’s possible for me to get better. I just feel alienated from the rest of humanity sometimes. Maybe it being winter and me being alone with few friends has brought this on. Idk. Either way, I’m straight up discouraged right now. About life. About how few close friends I have. About how little intimacy, even on a friend level, that I have. About my career. About my low self respect. About everything in my life right now. All my best friends keep getting off PMO and getting married and why the fuck can I not get with it??? I feel like I’ve been trying so hard but I’m alone every single fucking day and I fucking hate it. I absolutely despise the person I am right now.

    I have a tendency to be hard on myself. To doubt myself. To hate myself. But I also have a tendency to be undisciplined, unstructured. Right now though, my lack of self discipline has brought me to a place where I’m falling basically every day, sometimes multiple times a day.

    I was once told on here that maybe something really bad needed to happen before I got clean. Why? Why can’t I just stop? Why is every other guy out there able to get this under control, but not me?

    I feel almost on the verge of tears over this, but my mind has become so accustomed to fapping all the time that getting out of this seems impossible.

    Help. What do I do?
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  2. Liba689

    Liba689 Fapstronaut

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    Man, I completely understand as well. I think we're still in the same boat. I also want to date this girl whom I have known for years but it seems I'm never the opportunity to ask her out. Right now, I'm struggling with PMO and today I had a relapse. I felt like crap and I was super hard on myself. Now, I'm starting to realize that there is always hope and things will always get better!
    We just need to dust ourselves off and keep on moving. It wont be easy but it will be things will get easier!
    Godspeed brother!
     
  3. Love life family

    Love life family Fapstronaut

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    I fully understand and while I have not overcome this vice myself, I know self discipline and restructuring the brain is absolutely possible. Simple even. Not easy.

    I'm 38 years old and have fapped and looked at porn almost daily for as long as i can remember and had access to it.
    It has caused so much pain to my wife and made being intimate very difficult.
    Our problem is that we want it to go away on its own.
    We are pussies.
    We like comfort too much.
    We want mamas tit.
    We want a security blanket.
    We need a pacifier.
    We dont want to work.
    It takes incredible effort to break a habit like this one. Its equivelant to heroin addiction and I can say from experience that I absolutely experience withdraw if i havnt fapped off to a piece of ass in a few days.
    I've gotten literally sick.
    But until i man up and do what I know I have to do, I know its not going away.
    Do the steps abd you'll be free, otherwise just accept what a little snivvling hitch you are and know that good intimate friends and loved ones are never going to be very close to you and loneliness and depression will follow you forever.

    Or man up.

    They say something bad has to happen to you because thats what makes you hard enough to overcome it.

    The not bad way is to work out your self discipline like a weak muscle.

    Dont try to cold turkey, we arent made for that.

    Practice taking control of simple things like breathing.

    When you are doing things through the day, randomly stop.

    If you are making eggs and going to have scrambled eggs, stop and decide to have over easy.

    Randomly making choices contrary to default will help build your sense of control.

    There are many avenues to this. Yoga, meditation etc...

    If you do nothing different, things will stay the same.

    Im preaching to myself here too.

    Good luck brother, you arent alone.
     
    getbetter73 likes this.
  4. BreakingBenjamin

    BreakingBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    I was a heavy user for 5 years and a user for 10 years.. it was hard but i managed to do it.. you are capable of doing it too !!!
     
    BruceBeforeBatman likes this.
  5. getbetter73

    getbetter73 Fapstronaut

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    I feel your pain. I am really at a low point myself. I'm dealing with medical issues right now, and I know it's because of this addiction, and I'm still fapping. I'm on antibiotics right now because of it, and I've been going to the bathroom like a mad man, but even with all that I still can't stop. I just relapsed like an hour ago. I mean, what's it going to take? I really do sympathize with all of you. Sometimes I feel like I'll eventually beat this, but I haven't done anything to really warrant feeling that way. I make it 5 days or so and then the urges are too fierce to overcome and I give in. I'm scared to think of how much farther I'll need to fall to overcome this.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  6. BruceBeforeBatman

    BruceBeforeBatman Fapstronaut

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    Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Any advice from people who no longer are addicted? How do you get the ball rolling when you fall every day?
     
  7. 1ANDDONE

    1ANDDONE Fapstronaut

    @BruceBeforeBatman

    PMO is a habit. It will be painful to quit, because one you have acclimated your brain to expect it on a daily basis, it wants it, and it going to punish you when you take it away. But, I don't feel I am addicted, and have not felt that I was, for years. One hint, don't quit passively. Make quitting your priority. During your reboot, whatever else you are in your life, define yourself as a man quitting porn. In the morning, during the day, before bed, in the middle of the night. Also, remember what you are giving up is not, merely, porn; you are giving up, during the reboot anyway, the dopamine reward event that sexual thoughts alone cause. Stay away from things like Victoria's Secret, fitness magazines, certain movies, etc., you get the idea. Most say go hard mode for 90 days. When I quit, I went a full year hardmode. They were not talking much about quitting back then, and so the 90 mark was not so lauded as it is now. Good luck.
     
    icebreaker polarstern likes this.
  8. dzigi

    dzigi Fapstronaut

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    Bro I was masturbation addict for like 10 years for sure, and I wasn't fucking aware if it. You need to understand this is a very hard task, one of the hardest in your life that anyone of us is going to face. Maybe it sounds crazy but it is true! You need to feel proud of yourself because you took a step that 99% of guys wouldn't dare. You are in that fucking 1 %. Now you just need to set that winning mentality and I can and I will mode and you are going to cut out of your life Pmo. You have that will power, just set your brain!! You are the man
     
    BruceBeforeBatman likes this.
  9. BruceBeforeBatman

    BruceBeforeBatman Fapstronaut

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    Again - thank you to everyone who replied. I appreciate each of you. I thought about this all day, and here are some of my thoughts.

    I watched my dog, whose sex drive is sky high. But he lacks opposable thumbs to wack off with. When he gets aggressive and then gets told “no,” he intuitively runs around in circles to burn off the “urge,” the energy. I also watched Glory Road yesterday night. I was struck by the fact that when one of the players gets caught messing around with a girl (not allowed on his college team), his coach made him run and said something like “since you have enough energy to mess around with girls, you clearly have enough energy to run.”

    SO - maybe I need to live harder. Get out of my head every day. Work out. Run. And go hard.

    In a pit, the only way out is up. I have to get hard again in life. I have to get back in the ring and be disciplined. Sleep, diet, exercise, work, school, girlfriend. It has to be possible. People do the impossible every day. Marines, seals, parents (lol), CEOs, etc. All it takes is planning every minute of every day and every thought that comes into your head. Imagine how smart you would be if you only let yourself think in a disciplined, structured manner. Pmo teaches us to think in a disorganized, weak manner. It stands to reason that living an intensely organized life would be protective against the PMO brain loop we want to avoid.

    Anyway, cheers. Good luck to you all. Hope that is encouraging.
     

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