30 Day Lite Mode Challenge

Phil/Dad, sounds like there's an interesting story behind this enigmatic post. What's going on with you?

 

Day 2/30
Today was good! Like my first time through, I feel surprisingly good about it, and I've been keeping myself busy pretty well. I didn't get to work out today but I spent 10am-3pm exploring a local National Park, did some pretty physically intense bouldering. Lots of fun, beautiful day.
I'm starting to realize that my greatest challenge here will be breaking a new personal record for days free of PMO, and then, of course, getting off it indefinitely.
If I didn't mention in previous posts, I attempted this challenge 2 years ago. Relapsed 3 times before reaching 50 days without PMO, and for some reason, I just quit it after that. It's been really bad lately, with PMO being the first and last thing I do most days. I'm realizing this needs to stop. I want to lead as healthy of a life as possible, and my love life, physical health and social anxiety are likely being severely affected by how frequent my PMO is. Also, the semester just started, and when I go to class after PMO the brain fog is noticeable.
To everyone struggling with this challenge,
In my opinion, relapsing is an inevitability (for most people). But what counts, what we're committing ourselves to when we sign up for this challenge, is trying again. The only way to truly fail this challenge is by giving up. Stay strong, all.

 

21/30. Yesterday spent four or five hours reading the journals of people who have let go of porn indefinitely and now hang around supporting others (including me). Thinking and writing about how I can understand and reconcile with my desire for porn.

Ironically, porn is still consuming huge amounts of my time. But this is the first time I've taken seriously the idea of just stopping. It's always been "I just need some time to get back to even and I'll be fine."

Really glad you guys are here.

 

One more thing. Yesterday I suddenly realized that I was looking at porn on my monitor and my hand was in my lap! S..t!! I blew it. How did that happen?

Then I realized I was in the middle of a dream... Relief!

 

6/30 no PMO

 

Oh, yeah. That's totally understandable. I was just reading the following post which made me think about what coping resources I will use when PMO is off the table.

 

0/30.
I relapsed today. I got back from a weekend of hiking and partying and I just felt am overwhelming urge. I'm so used to giving into that urge that I slipped.

 

22/30. Dang! @Deth, weekends are tricky, they're the time we give ourselves for indulgences. Perfect timing, though... it's a new week...

 

7/30 no PMO

 

I'm new. I dunno if my counter is working but I'm 1/30 days in, and would like to keep this going with the support of the community.

 

Welcome, @Sisyphus2020 your counter is working great!

 

0/30 again... Man, I don't know what happened, but I slipped today. Spent the whole time either PMO'ing or playing video games.

 

23/30. Feel like I'm in a stable orbit around Planet Porn. It's a steep gravity well, but I somehow keep falling "around" it rather than "into" it.

@Deth, you might consider reflecting on your motivations - what was it that brought you here? - and paint a picture for yourself of how life might be without compulsive porn. The most important thing, as you yourself said, is to stay with it. Pullin' for ya.

 

8/30 no PMO

 

You're totally right, man. I know without PMO I'd be healthier, more social, and have more energy to put toward things like school, socializing, exercise, and work. I know I need to keep that in mind.
The urges have been there a little bit all day. There's this cute girl in my math class, I accidentally spent a bit too much time checking her out and now I can't get her out of my head. We'll see how falling asleep tonight goes. Day 1/30

 

That's one of the usual triggers for me. another is day dreaming/fantasizing and last is Stress

When something like these distract me, I start focusing on what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. Deep breathing exercises are another good way to relax and to get a grip on things.