Field-notes on Mastering Women while Mastering PMO

I'm 24 years old and for many years now, I've been on the path of self-improvement.
However, PMO, binge eating, and other similar type addictions have plagued me for as long as I can remember...

This year I am proud to say that I have finally overcome binge eating and I'm on a great streak with PMO. (Of course I stay vigilant though since I'm sure the wiring is still there for these things to tempt me). But the point is that I am making real progress and as of this writing, I feel more in control than ever.

The big silent distraction has been women...

And I feel like that's going to be my next challenge for 2020. I am a single man now and women have historically been a huge distraction for me. Especially when I had dating apps (which I have now deleted - I have a total of ZERO dating apps as I get too impulsive with them). Deleting the apps has been great for my mental clarity and sense of wellbeing. I now have more focus to dedicate towards my goals.

However, I still sometimes really crave sex and female validation. Luckily, I have a woman who is sexually available that I plan on seeing in the coming weeks.

My challenge is that I'm trying to develop a more powerful mindset where I don't need a constant supply of sex/female-validation to get by. I want to really focus on me this year and achieve my professional goals. I can't do that if I'm constantly going on dates, trying to pick girls up, and spending the weekends always trying to get new girls. The worst is going out every weekend night which ruins my circadian rhythm for the week plus I get tempted with alcohol.

Ideally, I could have that one girl I mentioned above and maybe 1-2 more and just keep them on rotation. The trick is to stay satisfied with that and use the rest of my focus on my objectives.

I'm just trying to focus on me right now. That's the new mindset. I want to be able to think long term and delay gratification long enough to really hit my objectives.

Some questions for you guys:

What are your experiences with putting off women and working on career/self-improvement?

Did you go from a sex-addicted stud to a focused monk?

Did you keep 1-2 girls on the side that you can see?

Did you just go full monk mode and become a millionaire?

Are you still struggling and dedicate a bit too much focus on women thus causing a weakened focus in your professional life?

How can we master women in our lives, not just PMO (that's the next level I believe)?

What are some rules/guidelines that you have created for yourself to NOT allow women (sex, validation, dating, etc) to mess with focusing on your purpose?

 

Im very familiar with Mr. Dragon

 

Yeah but that's not my point.

 

Thanks for the kind words sir. Yet again, I feel like this week was less focused than it could have been due to my old pattern/habit of lack of discipline when it comes to women. Right now, I'm trying to develop some guidelines for myself when it comes to meeting, messaging, and ultimately banging girls. I need to do so in a way where I'm not checking my phone every 3 minutes thus destroying my ability to stay focused on my objectives and internally relaxed/calm.

 

This was from my journal post this morning and it's relevant to this forum so I figured I'd share it here to stimulate more discussion on the topic.

Check in: Yesterday was a day where I felt pretty distracted by women (texting them, thinking about them, etc). I can still feel my internal patterns gravitating towards immediate gratification. They're looking for the quick/easy lay. As much as sex is great, it's not THAT great. Meaning, it shouldn't replace a man's desire for inner-stillness, progress on his purposes, etc. This morning, I meditated for one hour which is the first time I have done so in months. I did this because I felt like I needed to really reground my awareness. I feel a lot better now. My next step is to keep up my focus on developing guidelines for myself when it comes to my interactions with women. I need some sort of code for how I deal with them otherwise I'll be too reactive. Women are still a weak point for me. I believe that mastering women is the next step after no PMO. They ultimately go hand-in-hand. But I must maintain high degrees of patience and compassion for myself. These are not easy patterns to shift. However, I feel more determined and capable than ever.

 

Here's one rule I just came up with, feel free to try it out and let me know how it goes, also share similar rules:

"NEVER message a girl to meet up the same day otherwise historically the tendency is to check my phone all day long, they rarely ever are available on short notice, and it completely ruins my focus for the rest of the day."

 

Taking a break from women and daygame

I have been rejected 50+ times in the past month or so during day and night game. If you count the dating applications (back when I had it) then you could put that number in the 500s. I've noticed that my mind is too fixated on girls. I'm thinking of entering a mini-period of celibacy and just not talking to, texting, or approaching any girls. This is for 3 reasons: 1) Develop more solid mentality when it comes to staying focused on my purpose, 2) put women in their proper place in my life 3) give my emotions/mind some time to recover from all the rejection because if I keep going right now, I may develop cynical/negative judgments on women. I need to decompress and reflect.

 

That is a limiting belief my friend. You're still a young man. 48 is the new 38 haven't you heard? It's never too late to get your shit together. Also, congrats for being humble enough to continue challenging yourself unlike most men your age who have already given up.

 

Day 2 out of 10 of my monk mode challenge (no interactions with women). So far so good. Feeling more and more focused on my purpose. Having creative thoughts/ideas and my work ethic is improving. A bit of fantasizing but gaining more control over that as well.

 

I ended up dropping out of monk mode challenge on day 4. I don't really regret it. I was bored so I did some daygame. However, I still felt some resentment towards women so I know I'm still in pain from the past. Otherwise, I've been doing a lot better.

I'm getting better at shifting my focus away from mental fantasies these days too.

Man I'm starting to wake up my intelligence and it's beautiful but terrifying. I can't believe how long I've been asleep! It almost makes me want to cry. But I'm going to embrace where I'm at because God has truly given me a chance to succeed.

 

Sexting is a grey area that is worth addressing. I have made this mistake before and it's becoming very tempting to make it again. Sexting is basically porn.