THE 100 DAY SPARTAN CHALLENGE (OPEN)

That’s a messy situation. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope the Spartan community gives you strength.

 

Your presence will be felt even in your absence. You are a legend. We all appreciate your dedication. Be well Spartan. Go Beyond! PLUS ULTRA!!!!

 

Check In Day 1(21)

Hello Spartans,

I have seen @Espi1971 give a lot of support in this forum and I think it is very generous. Well done.

I gotta say guys, I feel like I’m lost in a forest. And I am feeling a lot of darkness around that. Even though I’m doing many of the right things each day.

I am considering that perhaps I am seeing a much bigger picture than i did when I was in pmo. When a lot of my energy was directed towards serving my pmo habit. Addiction. Compulsion.

Maybe i can see a much bigger picture or higher level and I’m just not used to it. And maybe this is not necessarily a bad thing. This feeling. Maybe it is a sign of progress. Of evolution. Maybe under the spell of pmo I would never contemplate the things I contemplate now. Maybe I would just not have the capacity for it.

A lot of this has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve spent several years on a project that I can’t seem to finish. It’s my life’s work. And it’s unfinished. And I’m struggling and I have been for a couple of years now. It’s possible I will run out of time and money and will not be able to complete it. I don’t fail. And I don’t quit. But here I am and for the first time in a very long time I may just not be able to continue.

Pmo is a part of my escape from this haunting. From this spectre. And from other areas of my life that have not gone the way I wanted them to.

I want to leave this here for all of you so that if you come to a place like this on your path you will at least have some advance notice.

I don’t know all what will happen in the next year. I do know that the time and money for completing this project will run out. And either I will finish or I won’t. But either way, it will be time for a new chapter in my life. I prefer not to end this one with failure. But sometimes in life it is better to swing and miss than to always wonder what if.

I know I often write posts to pump everyone up. I really enjoy doing that. It makes me feel good. And I know I appreciate reading those posts when others share them. But it’s dishonest and a disservice for me to only present that side of the journey. There are times where there is darkness.

But it doesn’t always mean we are failing. Or that we should go back to old ways. Sometimes it means we are entering into a more challenging period. Sometimes it is a trial. And sometimes the trial is not clear. Sometimes we have to walk through a dark night, or forest. Sometimes we have to hold on and not run. Even though we don’t know what lies in the bushes. Sometimes we have to fight a battle and lose. Sometimes we have to fight and fail. So we can learn about what we are capable of. Because sometimes we end up pushing ourselves further in failure than we do in success.

Perhaps I need to be grateful that I am here. I have heard it said God doesn’t deliver us from the storm, he delivers us in it. So we can discover our true potential as we find our way out.

It is time for me to move on Spartans.

Not from Nofap. Not from no pmo.

It’s time for me to move on from me. It is time for me to kill my old self. And embrace my new life. May god smile upon you all. Especially those with the courage to go beyond the safe borders of their known reality. Those with the courage to face the unknown. Those willing to journey through the dark night of the soul.

it is my time now

 

That's harsh. How are you holding up?

Edit: I see you already answered this. You're fine.

 

Day 31, checking in.

Glory to God!

 

Sorry to hear that man. You are an inspiration to me. Stay strong

 

I'm not doing too well honestly. My parents were about to get a divorce mid last year. My mom has a coworker that I always thought she was way too close to and I talked to her about it. It felt weird from the start. Then she would always be smiling at her phone. I was on her phone today and found some really bad messages. It hurt. And she's walking around like everything is normal. The good news here though is that this makes me realize how badly I need to beat PMO. I want love not lust.

 

I understand your frustration with trying to complete a big project. I have OCD so it makes it even worse. Try picturing the completed project in your head to give yourself inspiration. I also like to listen to upbeat music to get my adrenaline going, which can help increase focus. If a nagging thought comes in your mind that isn’t related to your project, write it down and address it later. Make your project be the only thing that matters. If you are stuck and can’t figure something out, go for a walk in the park or call a friend. These are just some tips I’ve learned that will hopefully help.

 

Just done 6th

 

Day 40 *Head Nod*

 

Day 29

 

Check in day 16

 

Day 7 check in...

 

Checking in: Day eighty-seven.

 

I appreciate your candor my friend, and in some ways I feel like I can relate to your struggle.

I've worked for the same company for 5 years, and lately I have really struggled. I had a great sales month last month, but for the first time ever at this job, I felt very little personal fulfillment or appreciation, despite nearly doubling my sales quota and earning a nice paycheck (which I sorely need right now...who doesn't though, right?).

All week I have left my shift early (thankfully I have a lot of personal vacation time accrued). My focus and passion simply aren't there. Business is slow, and instead of getting on the phone and prospecting, I've spent the majority of my time at work surfing the Internet, just trying to make it through another day. I feel no positivity whatsoever, and I'm constantly questioning my desire and ability to continue doing this job, which is exactly what I told my manager yesterday during my quarterly review.

I'm 48 years old, and I've hopped around at a lot of jobs, so I would really hate to lose/give up on this one and start over...again. This is the longest tenured job I've ever held, but I am also confident that another opportunity will present itself. My biggest fear is being homeless (I've been there done that), but I also like the unpredictability.

I'm wishing you peace and strength today. Seems to me that you are at a crossroads, and to me that means you're gonna be stronger for it, no matter what happens.

I choose to believe that you are destined for great things. I am looking forward to updates about your journey.

 

this hit me right know

idk if can do this project or not and i spend too much money on this but still nowhere to go.... as time flies so does my age, finishing this project with my age now is kinda embarrassing tho, still this year i will try again ,,but my deep voice said that this cant be done, and i better allocate that money to mariage, or new project or buying new motobike start lookin for house what not

but idk one of my parent wish before she passed away, that she want me to finished the project

this made me so complicated,

but i'm thinking that i dont know nothing about this life, life is mystery, i mean we didnt even know how or when we dead, so why not try again ? even tho we walked the path of shame and darkness, who know that darkness led me to bright new continent full of happiness and flower and tree's ???

im not the right person to motivate you @the alpha project, i'm no better than you in this situation

i only can pray for you,, that you will be strong and what ever choice you made, it will bring you happiness for your life

and ofc thank you for @Espi1971 for the support too, i hope ur journey will bring you happiness also


NB : pardon my english




day 15