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Do blockers actually weaken your willpower?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Jan 27, 2020.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Basically long story short I don't have a smart phone and have a really good blocking system on my laptop. My best friend is the administrator of my laptop and holds all the log in details and passwords to the blockers.

    So basically I have a very good blocking system on my laptop that is very difficult to bypass, and the hassle of trying to bypass it isn't even worth trying to me. I can hardly see much on my laptop. The majority of stuff that could cause me to relapse is blocked, only really leaving safe search google images or restricted youtube videos that I could ever relapse to, and this very rarely ever happens. But if I do relapse on these things I do still count it as relapsing to porn.

    But something I have noticed is when I get the opportunity to peak at porn or use porn I basically jump at the chance of it.

    Basically earlier one of my blockers stopped working for a few minutes. Literally all this did was turn restricted mode on youtube off for about 5 minutes. The second I noticed this I was instantly searching booty shaking videos on youtube, and was close to masturbating. But then thankfully after a few minutes the blocker kicked back in.

    But even though the blockers are great for me because they keep me off porn, I also feel like they aren't the best thing for strengthening my own willpower. I actually become more excited to use porn again the longer I don't use it, and like I said I seem to jump at the chance to get on it most opportunities I get. But I think this is because I hardly ever get to see it or hardly ever get on it.

    Like imagine you could hardly ever see anything artificial that turned you on and then all of a sudden you got the opportunity to see it or go on it. Do you think it is quite natural you'd get a powerful urge and feel sexually excited to go on it if you were in that situation?

    Can I get some of you guys opinions and advice on this please? Are the blockers doing me justice or an injustice?

    I more think the blockers are doing me justice, as they're keeping me off porn. But then on the other hand I don't feel like I am strengthening my own willpower, but maybe even weakening my willpower?
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2020
  2. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I can actually get round the blocking system I have in place. But what I would have to to do it isn't worth it to me, and it would take quite a while, and when I was passed them I would need to create new ones all over again.

    So like I said no way I'd try to bypass them this way because the extent of how much hassle it would overall cause me. So it is by far enough of a deterrent for me to not even try to bypass them.

    But I feel like not having a smart phone, not having a tv and then having this blocking system on my laptop literally puts me in to a situation where I don't really need to use my own willpower to stay off porn. But the worry about this is I actually much prefer this situation than needing to use my own willpower.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2020
  3. Der Drachenkönig

    Der Drachenkönig Fapstronaut

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    Well blockers can be very helpful if you work a lot in laptops or a desktop computer, but one shouldn't rely on them too much precisely because of what you just said. Deep down there's a willingness to look for it which only surfaces once the obstacle in this case the blocker is out of the way even by accident, because we know we can access the material now which we of course tend to do. So all in all while blockers are good, by themselves they're not very effective if they're not paired up with other measures to go along with it.
     
  4. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I think it depends on exactly what you're trying to achieve.

    So say someones main goal was curing PIED, and they stayed off porn completely for 4 months, and the only reason they managed to do this was because of blockers. There will of been a lot of healing and brain changes in that 4 months, and the most thing that matters is the person hasn't been on porn in 4 months, it doesn't matter if it has been achieved through using blockers or not, the brain changes will still happen even if it has been achieved through using blockers. The bottom line would be that person hasn't used porn in 4 months and the brain changes and healing will happen.

    But on the other hand getting over the addiction side of porn, getting over the impulse to use porn, I do somewhat feel like the only real way of truly learning to do that is being in the situation on a regular basis where you can access it but you still refuse it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Blockers dont work long term. They are an emergency solution to stop a binge.

    Same thing with abstinence, which is very similar to blockers.
     
  6. I wish I had blockers, but didn't know I had them. Knowing they're there can almost create an incentive to get around them as part of the thrill of relapsing. It's weird psychology, I know, but there it is.

    That said, on balance, I think they are helpful to prevent accidental exposures if nothing else.
     
  7. I personally use blockers but I do not rely on them. I'd prefer to use a combination of willpower, reminders, and blockers to keep my streak from being broken.

    I will explain the reminders part. So basically I use Google Assistant and TickTick on my smartphone to notify me with reminders that would hopefully prevent me from firing up an incognito tab and watch some porn. The reminders are very personal and sometimes frightening (to scare me away from accessing porn sites).

    As for willpower, believe me, I'm still figuring out the best way to keep its strength. What I do know is you really have to train your mind to resist temptations.
     
  8. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

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    Not much I can add but I personally don’t find them effective right now in my recovery but I did find them helpful early on because I don’t even know if I had any willpower or was even aware of what was going on.

    I personally found I would start masturbating to less graphic material when I was not able to find ‘real’ porn
     
  9. Same here. With the blockers on, videos of girls in bikinis that I found on YouTube or erotic stories with no illustrations will do for me. This is why we should prioritize willpower over blockers.
     
    henryhill likes this.
  10. hubbawulf1234

    hubbawulf1234 Fapstronaut

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    I agree. I'm a computer tech so I know my way around them. I think my biggest issue with blockers is that it's an external change, not internal. There's great as a tool while you make those internal changes, but will never give you freedom on their own.
     
    Davekransberg likes this.
  11. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

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    They can make it worse as you will seek other ways to get that porn. you will try to find workarounds. Then after you find a way to view porn with blockers, the only way to beat that is to just remove access to the internet.
     
  12. Willpower is a skill, not some kind of muscle.
    Same way memory is a skill, people who invest time in to training their ability to remember can do amazing things. They can memorize thousands of number in sequence after looking them over for few minutes.
    We may say that they have "strong memory" but when they explain how it is done - it is clearly a skill.
    They create mental framework for storing memories that is highly structured and efficient, and they use those as tools.

    At face value willpower is the ability to keep your commitments, if you said you will wash the dishes - you wash them.
    Some people will wash the dishes by playing a game, some people do so by earning points, some people say I cant watch TV until I will wash those dishes, etc.
    The point is that people create an efficient framework to structure their ability to stay true to their commitments and they use those tools.

    So your ability to keep your commitments is a skill, and there are many ways to put it to use.
    Having a blocker on your computer allows you to keep your commitment, so you are using a tool and in the end you are using willpower.
    You should try to expand range of tolls you use and become adept at using them
     
    Davekransberg and skaterdrew like this.

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