1 year hard mode......this is what I learned

Hey Guys, I havent been on this forum since early January but I just wanted to say how grateful I am to you for your responses to my post, I was blown away by all the messages I received. I hope the new year is going well for you all and you're slaying some personal dragons......

Dont judge your experience man. I know that sounds like pop psychology, but what I learned in this experience is to roll with the punches, whatever they may be. Human beings have this destructive tendency to want to know how things will turn out before they've actually gotten there. Kinda like starting to read a book but then skipping to the end because you need to know how it finished, all the while missing the pages in between. Its about letting go of control, trusting the process and not comparing your experiences to anyone else. That said, I can tell you about my own experiences with PAWS........I went through this, but what I found was that when I really took charge of my thoughts and my mind, the PAWS went away very quickly thereafter. I cant stress this enough, so long as you are engaging in sexual imagery, fantasies, replaying old porn scenes in your mind, you will drag out PAWS a lot longer than it needs to be endured for. You're throwing diesel on the fire whereas if you guard your mind and close the door on sexual imagery, the fire dies and you will notice a huge difference to your overall wellbeing. And I know people will not like this at all, they'll argue that sexual fantasies are normal and healthy and not a problem. Sounds like a reasonable argument........but in reality I guarantee that if you abstain from the fantasies and imagery you'll see a difference, you'll feel happier, mentally more stable and sound as well as emotionally. Its your choice. Life is about choices, theres so many things you can choose to engage in, but Id ask how many of those things actually are for your benefit and how many harm you. I'd say from what Ive experienced and from what Ive seen of others experiences, that things in life that harm are of the multitude. I would just say give it a go before you decide. Most people who argue about sexual fantasies being good for you are the very people who have never stepped away from them for any length of time, so they have never experienced what its actually like to not engage in this way with your mind. But hang in there bro, you will get there. Like I said, roll with the punches, guard your mind, be very selective about what you focus your mind upon and let things play themselves out.

 

But the truth is you're not helpless. Think of your mind like a corridor composed of doors on either side of the corridor. Thoughts will come into that corridor and they will knock on those doors. Those thoughts may be sexual images and fantasies and this is where you do have a choice. You get to decide if you open that door or not. The thought will knock, but this is the threshold, the point where you either allow that image or thought to enter, you can open that door and allow that thought to come into your mind. And when you do this you are making a clear, conscious decision: To engage with something that will cause you pain and suffering. But if you choose to not open that door then you are protecting your mind. Its always a choice. You may believe that you are helpless and sexual images and thoughts have you under their control, but this isnt the truth. If you tune in and become very aware of the way your mind works, you'll clearly see that you always have a choice. So you have to become aware of the fact that you want to engage with these images and thoughts, even though they harm you. And this is where personal responsibility comes into play.
Theres a fable about an Indian boy who reaches the age of initiation into manhood and is sent into the wilderness to undergo trials. He climbs a mountain and when he gets to the top he comes across a Rattlesnake. The boy has been well warned about snakes so he's cautious but the snake calls out to him and begs for his help. "Please help me" the snake says, I am cold and hungry and my strength is almost gone. Can you pick me up and carry me to the valley below" But the Boy is wary, "I know who you are, you are a snake, I've been told about you. If I pick you up you will bite me". But the snake protested. "I give you my word that I wont, I am very weak, I am dying. Please carry me. I wont bite you"
So the boy relents, picks up the snake and carries him to the valley below. But when he put the snake on the ground the snake coils and its tail rattles. He lunges at the boy and bites him. The boy falls to the ground clutching his wound, and says "You bit me! Even though you gave me your word that you wouldnt" The snake replied: "This is my nature, its who I am. You knew what I was before you picked me up yet you still carried me"
And the boy died from the poison of the snakes bite...........When you pick certain things up, like thoughts, images and behaviors, they will be true to their nature and bite you. It wont be any different for you than it is for anyone else. Dont trick yourself and think its ok that no harm will be done. It will. Take conscious control of what thoughts you open the doors of your mind to because when you do you are literally like that Indian boy picking up a snake that will bite you.