THE 100 DAY SPARTAN CHALLENGE (OPEN)

Check in day 16.

 

Day 1, close to day 2, I'll not relapse!

 

Day 32, checking in.

Glory to God!

 

I'm in and ready

 

Great to see
You still working on the journey Spartan. Do not quit.

 

Excellent! You should post a success entry!

 

Congrats on the new rank and good luck going forward!

 

Yes!!!!! So great to see this! You are on your way to God of War!!

 

Happy you are still fighting Spartan way to go!

 

Great job, new rank!

 

Way to be Spartan! Thank you for sharing. It is a hard time for me now and reading your post gives me strength to continue. You are a truly a new person. A Spartan!!

 

A-Hooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Way to go! Soon you will be God of War and all of Sparta will celebrate!!!

 

Congrats on the new rank!!

 

Check in Day 1(23)

Hello Spartans,

Today I have been suffering from darkness in my mind all day. I feel like I am unable to breathe. I feel like I am at the bottom of a lake. I feel like the whole ocean pressure is pushing me down. But instead of quiet I have a million voices in my head. My family speaks to me and I feel like I’m a million miles away. And they tell me I don’t answer them. I just walk away.

I think this is the worst I have felt since I stopped pmo. I think normally I would turn to alcohol or pot to ease the pressure. I feel so awful. It’s really awful.

All day long I’ve been asking myself what I can do to get out of this. How I can fight my way out. I saw it starting a week ago and I gave myself two days to rest before deciding it was time to attack. And here I am a week later and it is worse than ever.

I’ve been training. I’ve been praying. I’ve been meditating. I have been eating well. I went to the forest. And still I’m here. In darkness.

Enough is enough.

I must do more. I must take control of my mind. And force it to change direction. Train harder. Pray more honestly. Meditate more consistently. And stay clear of pot and alcohol which will only cause a rebound that pushes me deeper into the spiral.

I think sometimes we are tested. We are given a trial. Where all of our tools fail to work. Where all of our tricks fail to work. We are placed in a place where all we have left is our outlook. It is the final frontier. As you know. Because as long as we have our positive outlook. As long as we have faith, there is hope. Even if it is all we are left with. We can ascend. But without it. No matter what else we have. No matter the time, money or connections, without a positive outlook we cannot ascend. We can not have that unshakable faith.

Perhaps the darkness will worsen. Maybe the trial is just starting. As long as I know that it is not actually me, that I am IN darkness but I am not MADE of darkness, as long as I understand that this heavy black cloud is not me, I can continue to do my good habits. My good rituals. I can continue to train, pray, meditate. Eat. Sleep. And eventually I will overcome.

I will ascend. And I will be stronger than I have ever been in my life. As I write this entry I am now feeling a flash of excitement. I’m realizing something. This is not the weakest I’ve ever been. It’s the strongest. Because I’m in one of the darkest periods of my life and I’m not running. I’m not looking for escapes.

I am f*cking here to fight this thing with everything I have. And if it’s not enough I’ll just keep fighting and getting stronger. Because I am a Spartan. And this is what Spartans do.

Let’s do this.

 

I wish I knew what to say, but I do feel you.

My gut is telling me that you should love on yourself right now. Until the storm passes.

Wishing you peace and strength my friend.

 

Day 31

 

Thank you friend.
It helps having this place to share.
I’ve posted a lot of times about how amazing I am doing. How great I feel. How much better things are on no pmo. telling everyone that brighter days are coming. I considered not sharing about the recent struggles I’ve had. Fearing it would cast doubt in the minds and hearts of new members. Give them an idea that maybe this isn’t so great after all. That maybe it isn’t worth it.

But I think what I was realizing as I made my last post is potentially a very important thing for people to hear. That there are times where it might get dark. That there are times where it might feel like the world is crashing in on you. And at those times you might think that you are weak. You might feel like the reason it feels so hard is that you are weak. But what if there is another possibility. What if that moment. That period. What if it was not weakness but strength that was the reason. What if... what if I am feeling this pressure because instead of using pmo to escape from lower levels of pressure, I am now able to withstand much greater levels of pressure. And I’m being tested. I’m being placed under enormous pressure to see if I will crack. Pressure I’ve never been able to handle before.

Like weightlifting. Say I can lift 200lbs and I try for 205 but fail under that pressure. I could say it is because I am weak. But I could also say look, the reason I can even push 205 for half a rep is because I’ve worked my way up through 150, 155, 160 and so forth.

These are all just ideas I’m throwing out there. But just imagine the power of this. Instead of thinking I am weak because I feel so much pressure, what if it’s because I’m getting stronger? Imagine how things might change with the latter mindset. How much more encouraging. Empowering.

If anyone has thoughts on this feel free to share them.

 

Thanks bro, I will keep it in mind, the clue is make progress step by step.

 

Just done 8th

 

Day 12.
Sorry for not posting for so long.
I am going through a tough phase but I am growing stronger in it.