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Cuckold addiction

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by VinnyD, Feb 4, 2020.

  1. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    Hi Im Vinny and me and my wife started cuckolding about 5 years ago. I got used to it for a while but started wanting out because it messes with my confidence and head alot but it seems too addicting. We started off watching porn at it slowly progressed to this. Any advice on how to stop this behavior or other experiences on this. Its just tearing up our marriage as my wife wants to stop but doesn't. Please send some positive feed back. Thanks
     
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  2. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    A therapist can help you both. I think your addiction has become too severe to fight without professional help.
     
  3. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    How would we even approach a therapist with something like this? Seems so emberassing.
     
  4. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Most therapists have seen similar situations. No offense but you would not be the first one to engage in such encounters n are seeking help.

    You could first talk of other issues to the therapist n then once you think the therapist is reliable , you could reveal this to him

    That's how i went. For 4 months I spoke of depression n anxiety n then I spoke of sexual issues.
     
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  5. Wife and I talked about doing this , but never tried it. We watched double penetration videos together, and fantasized. How to stop these thoughts?
     
  6. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    Whatever you do I would not recommend doing a threesome or cuckolding in a young marriage or relationship me and my wife were together 18 yrs and 5 yrs ago started cuckolding and its an emotional roller coaster and doesn't show the negative affect until years after IMO.
     
  7. What got you guys trying it anyway?
    I think it's one of those fantasies that appealed to us in deep arousal, and looks good on screen.

    My wife said she always wanted to try tribbing with another woman, my fantasy was double vaginal penetration with another guy. She said it looked good...but I don't know if we'd ever go through with it.
     
  8. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    We bought a porn movie and were really getting into porn. Then A coworker told me him and his girlfriend were in an open relationship and they would do the cuckold. It sounded so stupid at first and I laughed it off but the more I thought about it and explored porn sites it became consuming and we tried it. Be very aware, it is very interesting and lustful but it will mess up a relationship. A lot of online people say they can handle it but I feel like it was a big mistake.
     
  9. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Look for a csat counselor in your area. Certified sexual addiction specialist. They have far more specialized training for this than a normal family or marriage counselor, who can actually hurt your marriage rather than help it die to lack of knowledge.
     

  10. The 'interesting and lustful' side of it is the sex, right? I guess the emotional baggage after is awful??
     
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  11. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    Interesting as in curious in the beginning and lustful as in during the sex. Afterwards is very awful disgusting used feeling.
     
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  12. Sorry to hear man :(

    Sounds like the devil in disguise!
     
  13. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    Yea I haven't seen to much help out there for this type of fetish, I guess its so embarrassing. The devil is on attack in every type of form and fashion so stay woke man. This is just another eye opener, hopefully this post helps at least 1 person.
     
  14. How are you and wife coping with this? X
     
  15. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    Just coping day by day and fighting resistance and urges. Keeping our mind on other things.
     
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  16. Are you both still at it or tempted by it?
    Or was it a once only thing?
     
  17. VinnyD

    VinnyD Fapstronaut

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    Read my first post at the top of the feed.
     
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  18. Oh yes, sorry! I did read it originally but forget further down the thread. Sorry to hear. Xx
     
  19. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    This is reason to see a therapist. If you feel awful and disgusting after indulging in the act, then the act is toxic for you. You're addicted to it and need to free yourself from it. You can rely on will power, but use your will power to get help. Get some self-help books on addiction. Though I strongly suggest seek a therapist.

    Couples don't just have sex. There are other things as well that couples do. Cook food, go on picnics, a walk in the park, discuss. Talk their hearts out to each other.
     
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  20. Yes, thank you for this post (In short, it's helpful for me to hear that acting out the fantasy in real life can lead to long term relationship problems - and that it might not really show until a few years down the road).

    I was cuckolded (unwillingly) in several of my earlier relationships and about 15 years ago my gf slept with a man who was the exact opposite (see spoiler) of me and
    I compulsively masturbated five times when she told me. I even had to masturbate at work the next day because I could not stop thinking about it! :eek:
    Exact opposite of me means the guy was a heavily tattoo'd muscular womanising and drug using biker with the biggest dick she'd ever seen

    I was completely hooked after that. I started to look for porn in that vein and quickly found cuckolding and many related fetishes. For a decade plus I was convinced that it must be what I want (and what I should want) if it turns me on so much. I don't think it'll ever go away and anytime I have the slightest insecurity about my current relationship the fantasies come back and hit me hard.

    As @Psalm27:1my light suggested, a CSAT would probably be your best resource and I should be seeing one myself.
     
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