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Living with fears or totally free ? (Question)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by TheTimeToChange, Feb 4, 2020.

  1. TheTimeToChange

    TheTimeToChange Fapstronaut

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    Hey All,

    This question for those, who are already cured.

    I'm probably most of us, who's at the beginning of the joruney are very desperated.
    The forum is so awesome, and everything about Nofap, but it's not that easy on this forum to be 100% sure if people can be cured for life long.
    With my current thoughts:
    - its hard for me to imagine my brain without porn.
    - I cant imagine my self not thinking on porn daily.
    - It's hard to imagine my self not being afraid of porn and fapping.

    What i see is living after reboot in fear i dont want to loose my self again. It's really like that ? Will I be afraid everyday of it , or can i live free ?

    Are those who are cured free of these thoughts?
    Since you successfully won the battle, are you afraid of falling back? Do you have fights in daily basis against porn and addiction or you are your own self?

    My mind always on " can i quit it" "can i win" "can i really be cured' etc...
    I'm really in the state where i feel a lot of good benefits of nofap, but the sex, the fapping is in my mind almost every hours.

    Thank you for your help in advance!
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2020
    ThomasTheCat likes this.
  2. angelpart

    angelpart Fapstronaut

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    It takes time I think, for these thoughts to slowly go away. For the first few months it's going to be a daily battle for sure. That being said I'm not afraid, if I relapse it's not the end of the world, I'll just keep fighting.
     
    ThomasTheCat and TheTimeToChange like this.
  3. TheTimeToChange

    TheTimeToChange Fapstronaut

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    Hey, Thank you for your reply!!
    To be honest i'm really afraid of the relapse and the thoughts after that bad decision. I'm more afraid that i can't really imagine my life living it normally. You know it's something like anxiety.
    PMO really destroy the person inside me, and you may also experienced that your brain is really on porn, and MO all the time. I'm trying so hard to get out of this, but it's really hard to imagine or even beleive, my brain will be as clear as it should be, so these kind of craving, negative thoughts won't exist anymore.
    I'm also trying to beleive in the time.
     
  4. Hmm, good question.

    Fear is a really bad place to make decisions, unless the decision is to do something different!

    Although I was truly scared when I started NoFap, I have no fear any more. Porn is in my past, and the good thing about the past is that it doesn't exist any more — it's gone.

    If you focus on what you fear, you risk that fear becoming true.
    Don't imagine a negative. What I mean is this: Don't try to imagine your brain without porn. Don't try to imagine yourself not thinking about porn. Don't try to imagine yourself not being afraid.

    For example, if I ask you to not think about a green dog, what pops into your mind? A green dog, because you have to know what I mean before you can try to not think about it!

    By trying to imagine yourself not doing things, you end up focusing on those very things.

    So, here's what to do instead…
    • Sit down with a pen and a fresh piece of paper.
    • Imagine what a good, healthy life looks like, sounds like, feels like.
    • Write this down as if you already have it.
    Example: "I am doing healthy exercise five days a week. I feel stronger each week. I am doing my very best at my job, and my job feels like fun. I have good and loyal friends, and I'm good and loyal to them. I love seeing my friends. I have lost my fear of being a man, and instead I feel brave, proud, strong, effective, successful. I hear compliments from other people."

    And so on, whatever works best for you.

    Read your paper every day. Feel free to add to it or change it whenever you need to.
     
  5. TheTimeToChange

    TheTimeToChange Fapstronaut

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    Perfect. Thank you for your answer :) Really helped me a lot.
     
  6. TheTimeToChange

    TheTimeToChange Fapstronaut

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    I also wanted to ask, after your recovery do you feel you are 100% of your self as were before addiction problems ?
     
  7. I can't answer that, because I started masturbating before I was even 10 years old. I started porn as soon as I moved away from home and was able to buy my own, since age 20 (approximately). So, I have no reference.
     
    TheTimeToChange likes this.
  8. juniormelville

    juniormelville Fapstronaut

    Like @Mordobarn, I don't see any value in trying to imagine your future mental state without porn. What is the point in creating that image in your mind? Actually, it's just a vague picture that you are conjuring up in your mind in the present. It's not the real future. Concentrate on enjoying your freedom in the present, and get fully involved in other activities that have nothing to do with porn, thinking about porn, thinking about thinking about porn, etc. etc. Read the forums, get your determination, then move on to something more important in life.
     
    TheTimeToChange and Mordobarn like this.
  9. TheTimeToChange

    TheTimeToChange Fapstronaut

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