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Does sexual thoughts hinder your reboot?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by KingRecover17, Aug 31, 2015.

  1. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    Lately it's been tough for me because I have had alot of sexual urges but most of them happen to come from thinking about sex unfortunately. But my question is does fantasizing and thinking about sex hinder one's reboot?
     
  2. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Sexual thoughts are probably unavoidable in sexual recovery. Does thinking about drinking hinder the alcoholic's recovery? Not as long as he doesn't give into drinking. Yet I equivocate here in one aspect - as sexual thoughts, if heavily indulged in and expanded on and not resisted, but enjoyed and purposefully contributed to - can be sort of like running our own porn in the mind, and one will not ultimately be able to sustain recovery with such purposeful concessions, in my view. If the sexual thoughts are giving you pleasure, you are probably indulging in them. If you find the same thoughts painful and stressful even, it's probably because you're resisting them or don't want them. And thoughts, however frequent in the latter state of mind, are never harmful, but are contributing toward healing and recovery if not acted upon.
     
  3. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    Lately I have found my sexual thoughts giving me pleasure but I try to stop when they do.
     
    ancesetor likes this.
  4. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Yes, the immediate sensation might be pleasure - how can it not - hopefully we're not prolonging what will do us in ultimately. And, the fact you stop or distract yourself is great for recovery. Keep it up, man!
     
  5. ThatOneGuy56

    ThatOneGuy56 Fapstronaut

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    Sexual thoughts in a reboot are literally unavoidable. It's not about the sexual thought but what you do with it- when ever I get this sort of stuff I shake my head and keep going because I just don't want to go back to square one for a lousy five second orgasm. You know what I mean?
     
  6. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    Yea I feel ya man thanks for the advice.
     
    ancesetor likes this.
  7. | Master Chief |

    | Master Chief | Fapstronaut

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    You cannot avoid sexual thoughts, and DON'T try to resist or repress sexual thoughts. Repressing the thought will only give it more power.

    Try meditation - Allow every thought to flow through you, whether it be positive or negative, sexual or non-sexual, and let it pass without judgment.

    If you have a sexual thought, be aware of it, but don't give it anymore attention than it needs. Allow it to have it's place there, and get on with your day.

    But also realise that sexy thoughts are natural. Everyone thinks about sex sometimes.

    The only thing you can strive for is stopping porn use and fapping to that porn, as well as scrolling through images and videos for something to fap to.
     
  8. mv8652

    mv8652 Fapstronaut

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    You can't keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair. You can also avoid putting out birdseed to attract them. Just be reasonable and keep your goals in mind.
     
  9. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Nicely put man! :)
     
  10. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate the advice y'all
     
  11. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    I think they happen to everyone, but I find it best to purposefully change my mind to something else. If you allow them to continue, they will be a problem. They are just your brain trying to get a dopamine fix. Tell the thoughts to go away and think about something else. If you're having troubles with flashback style memories, focus really hard on seeing what's in front of you and look at all the little details of whatever it is.
     
  12. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for the reposts. I'll take them down as soon as it lets me.
     
    KingRecover17 likes this.
  13. KingRecover17

    KingRecover17 Fapstronaut

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    It's fine man, but I appreciate your support
     
  14. J5sbIdwtgt"s"mpi

    J5sbIdwtgt"s"mpi New Fapstronaut

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    I have something to add to this conversation. So we have the thoughts. If I have a thought and like brush my dick on the bed and thelubricating fluid released before ejaculation is realised or I just have the thought and the liquid comes out, is that bad and means that I have to start over again, or not? Hope you understand me and answer xD
     
  15. Jerseyguy1963

    Jerseyguy1963 Fapstronaut

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    No.

    Watch Your Brain On Porn.

    The only time you are damaging yourself or your recovery is if there is intention. If you focus on it, your. Rain expects to get orgasm and so dopamine is released. Dont feel shame over precum and an accidental brush.
     
  16. mv8652

    mv8652 Fapstronaut

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    That fluid is unofficially called "pre-cum," but it's officially the secretion from the Cowper's glands, also called the bulbourethral glands. It is not semen, and it does not break your streak. Men vary greatly in how much of it they produce, but it's common in many men whenever there is erection or arousal, and it doesn't indicate any intent to perform self-gratification.
     
  17. sexual fantasizing are porn's back up drives!

    however it's important to distinguish, I believe there are two types:

    a. you see a hot girl walking down the street, you start to dwell on taking her clothes off, wanting to touch her, smell her, have sex with her - this is pretty normal. However dwelling on it can put you into sort of a 'heat' with sex on the brain.. but even so it's inline with your self idenity- in real life, if this woman was your wife, you'd enjoy having sex with her and could imagine her as a partner. It might even be someone 'out of reach' but represents an ideal.

    b. sexual fantasy that involves a fetish, some sort of behavior that you find revolting or taboo breaking but somehow it gives you 'pleasure' and usually this sort of fantasizing comes when you're depressed, suffering anxiety or need to 'escape' when you're done with it, whether you pmo'd or not you know it's alien to your central identity and who you want to be... this can include: sissy/femdom/ bsdm, escalated stuff as a result of porn.

    so if you find yourself regularly 'escaping' with b. - then start nurturing some sort of positive behavior - meditation, exercise, positive visualization.
     
  18. gingeralan

    gingeralan Fapstronaut

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    I love this!
     

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