35 and Older Accountability Group

Excellent! I think it's a smart move. Goes against the grain of giving up everything all at once, I know, but it works, as long as you ARE still working on giving up PM, it's just that when you slip, it is only to M. It won't work if you are freely allowing M. So, the longer you go without M, the easier it will be later on to M without P.

True, you can keep a separate P counter on your signature line, that you just update every day manually.

 

I have read the rules and would like to join the group please

 

Thanks for being always there my friend! this group has helped me so so much! I'm planning on staying here for a long time we need each other to grow!

God bless you !

 

Ooh I forgot that was a group requirement. Thanks for the reminder and the suggestion of how to fix it!

 

Thanks, @artifact! I know I am not just speaking for myself when I say that your commitment to updating this group days is huge and helps people be accountable to one another. Thank you!

 

Checking in....

 

Sunday check in - relapse yesterday...

 

So last night and this morning were a bit rough. Caught up with an old friend last night, who is in town for a week and who I hadn't seen in 8 years. Got a bit drunk, and in the process he showed me all these pics of tons of girls he's been sleeping with in the past year. He's a very good looking guy and does extremely well with equally beautiful women through dating apps. These pics were not only screenshots from the apps but also sex pics in bed, with some accompanying details and stories. I'm happy for him, but needless to say it was a perfect storm for me when I got home. I turned on the TV, and it was on the movie channel where they were playing a racy movie (but not quite porn) as I drunkenly made some popcorn. I did not change the channel as I ate it. Later in bed (away from the TV) there was some fierce edging, but I somehow held off. This morning when I woke up, it picked right back up from where I left off. I finally snapped out of it with the thought of how much I needed coffee. I don't drink much these days, but last night was a special occasion and it caught me off guard. I'm fine now, except for a massive hangover. Staying super busy around the house to make sure it doesn't get the best of me, and posting here. Well gotta go, my 4th cup of coffee is waiting for me. Stay strong everyone.

 

That sounds like a really intense set of circumstances. I was going to say "fortunately I don't have friends like that" but I realized instead I can just leave it at "I don't have friends." LOL!

 

I’m in the same boat. I’m trying to concentrate on finding a good balance between being to negative and too easy on myself.

It’s not easy for me to get new streaks going after I fail; but it’s also hard to deny I’ve had lots of good length streaks since starting. So I’m trying to keep things in perspective and not become too frustrated.

When I reflect on what behaviors I did that lead to a fall it helps, but beyond that it’s just gotta be a focus on getting to the next 1/2 or 1/3 of a day for me.

 

Day 0 again...but I am making it to 7 - 10 days consistently now. Gotta keep it up.

 

congrats, @persona2903

@artifact love the sash!

 

Would it be helpful to you to separate P and M, recording P in your signature line manually? I think this de-linking helps remove the reward from P. It also means that if I fall to P or M, I don't have this feeling of "well, I've already broken my streak, so might as well go the whole way." I don't know if this will work or not but @discovery has had some success with it and I feel like what I have been doing in the past hasn't worked as well as I like so it's worth a try.

I appreciate so much your doing the work of maintaining this group even though you are not yet in that top tier. I hope it is not discouraging to you. Your service to this whole group is deeply appreciated.

 

Haha, thanks artifact. He is a good guy. I did tell him that I was staying away from P and M, but we didn't dwell on the subject, and I don't think he associates that stuff with PM issues. He's never had this problem, and doesn't really understand the specifics, the triggers, all of that. Our conversation had gone in that direction, and, well the alcohol was a factor.

Yes, about the other conversation points above, totally love the sash! You've got three months now to come up with a 1 year award

And you mentioned that for you, P and M have always gone together. There's strength in numbers, and P and M together are stronger than either one individually. Just something to think about. Next time you know you're gonna M, just try it without the screen.

 

One day of heavy pressure and it brought several relapses one after another the last days.
I need to get myswelf back.
Checking in.