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And here we go

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Vollue, Feb 9, 2020.

  1. Vollue

    Vollue Fapstronaut

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    Hi all!
    Don't know even from where I should start.
    Okey. Small introduction: 25 years old, tried to get rid of PMO, had some success but still working on it.
    Recently I found out that I'm quite porn addictive person and it DOES influence my life. I even suspect that it has been breaking me starting from teenager period because while I tried to quit I realised some psyological changes in inner feelings and behaivior. So that leads me to conclusion that I don't even know myself without PMO(so, in natural conditions). You know...this hormones stuff is able to change you totaly and that makes me think that while I've been doing PMO I've been making myself indecisive, unconfident and apathetic to life!
    I'm not addictive to alcogol, cigarettes or any other harmful addictions but realising destructive influence on my growing scares me a lot and right now I'm at the point when my career depends on self organisation which means on confidence.
    I've noticed that my thoughts are being changed when I don't do PMO. I don't get panic, feeling of total weaknesses and unmotivation. I don't live one day life and start planing my week, mounth and even year.
    One year ago I managed to live without PMO for one mounth and it made me so... better/healthier? I could sleep for 6 hours and wake up without alarm. I was able to do lots of things without this inner wet blanked voice which is always telling you that you can't/don't want to do anything. It was just like from those video "just do it".
    Right now as far as I conserved my problem is to make myself strictly think that exactly PMO is badly changing me a lot and nothing else. Because after I start feeling independed from PMO I'm prone to starting thinking that PMO is not that bag and everybody does it.
    I'm here for finding moral support and some useful tips
     
  2. Tempus Fugit

    Tempus Fugit Fapstronaut

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    I am 40 days no PMO and no alcohol. In my case, I went on a soft quit from alcohol (not drinking at home, but I did drink socially when I went out to eat). I was kidding myself by not deciding to *totally* quit alcohol. I was half in and half out, and after 4 months, I was drinking again every day. I realized that I need to make a total commitment, which I did at the beginning of this year. I am on a hard quit -- no alcohol at all. I realize now that alcohol makes me less able to resist temptations to PMO.

    I say this to suggest that you not try to halfway quit porn and fapping. Make a decision to quit PMO and stick with it. Be patient if you fall, and get back up and start again.

    Congratulations last year on going 1 month without PMO! See if you can figure out what made you able to go with no PMO for 1 month. Learn from this past experience and make this a commitment for the future.
     
  3. Vollue

    Vollue Fapstronaut

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    Hi Tempus!

    Thanks for this piece of advice but unfortunately I have to admit that "Chuck Norris's approach"(that's how I call a way of quitting from all addictions from one time) is not something that I'm able to do. Probably it's because after I fail I'm too angry to myself and feel disappointed and also because I've been doing PMO for approximately 12 years(so for me it's quite unfamiliar to live with all consiquences from abstinence).

    For now I'm going to skip only porn for...let's say 90 days(already reading Rebooting) just to not feel any kind of urges to porn and be able to break other addictions. In my opinion it's the main problem which causes the most distructive effect on me (I already metioned unconfidence but it's also concentration problems, sleeping and fog in head).

    I found a resource where it's told that in general fappers have not one addiction but actually tree (pornography, fantasies and physical). And the point is when you try to quit you're fighting all three at one time and that's why so many people can't do this. But when you do this step by step (first quitting porn doing fantasies and masturbation, then quiting fantasies and finally not to maturbate) it's much easier.
     
  4. Tempus Fugit

    Tempus Fugit Fapstronaut

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    Vollue:

    Thanks for the response. I'm 48 and have had porn in my life over 20 years and fapping even longer. For me, I feel the urgency of taking strong action now. Time flies (i.e. tempus fugit) very quickly and I don't want porn to run the rest of my life. I've already given it too much time as it is.

    Good luck with your fight!
     

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