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What is funniest joke you have heard?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Kligor, Feb 5, 2020.

  1. Feb 5, 2020 #1
    Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Once my buddy tell me his grandpa was immobile a man in a wheelchair,i ask him and what happen?
    He asked me do you know what is his last words before death?-I said no i don't know?
    His last words was:Ahh shiit sta-sta-sta-stairs. (he said in during falling from stairs)

    Man enter in tavern with a gun and shot one bullet in ceiling and say who did sleep with my wife!?And one man at bar said:
    -You don't have enough ammo buddy.

    There is might few more i have heard but this two is funniest to me.
    What is your funniest?
     
    Kligor, Feb 5, 2020
    Kligor, Feb 5, 2020
    #1
    Optimum Fortitude, Master Chips, brilliantidiot and 1 other person like this.
  2. Feb 5, 2020 #2
    Deleted Account

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    Porn is healthy
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 5, 2020
    Deleted Account, Feb 5, 2020
    #2
    sev94, Zapy97, Gorgewalker and 7 others like this.
  3. Feb 5, 2020 #3
    Infrasapiens

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    My sex life.
     
    Infrasapiens, Feb 5, 2020
    Infrasapiens, Feb 5, 2020
    #3
    Zapy97, Gorgewalker, FellatiousD and 2 others like this.
  4. Feb 6, 2020 #4
    Deleted Account

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    "The morning after a blackout though is so strange 'cause I always feel like this detective trying to solve the mystery of how I got home the night before. It's the case of the empty wallet and the for-some-reason bleeding knee and luckily I can get right on the case because I'm still fully clothed from the night before!"

    *Fist pump*

    ..."It's not good."

    -John Mulaney.
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 6, 2020
    Deleted Account, Feb 6, 2020
    #4
    Deadlihood, Deleted Account, Deleted Account and 1 other person like this.
  5. Feb 6, 2020 #5
    Deleted Account

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    I freaking loveeee John Mulaney! I could watch his specials over and over. And I have. And I will continue to do so.
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 6, 2020
    Deleted Account, Feb 6, 2020
    #5
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Feb 11, 2020 #6
    Jackb97

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    I'd tell you but the mods
     
    Jackb97, Feb 11, 2020
    Jackb97, Feb 11, 2020
    #6
    vxlccm and brilliantidiot like this.
  7. Feb 11, 2020 #7
    brilliantidiot

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    hah now I'm dying of curiosity thanks
     
    brilliantidiot, Feb 11, 2020
    brilliantidiot, Feb 11, 2020
    #7
    vxlccm, Jackb97 and Kligor like this.
  8. Feb 27, 2020 #8
    Overapple

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    “somebody toucha my spaget” still gets me. I don’t care if it’s a 2019 January meme
     
    Overapple, Feb 27, 2020
    Overapple, Feb 27, 2020
    #8
    Kligor likes this.
  9. Feb 28, 2020 #9
    Deleted Account

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    I've heard a lot of really hilarious comedians, but I don't know if I could say a specific "joke." It's more like funny bits, and a lot of the humor is in the delivery.
     
    Deleted Account, Feb 28, 2020
    Deleted Account, Feb 28, 2020
    #9
    Kligor likes this.
  10. Feb 29, 2020 #10
    MJ Warrior 93

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    I can't tell a joke, but I can show you :emoji_joy::emoji_joy:
     

    Attached Files:

    MJ Warrior 93, Feb 29, 2020
    MJ Warrior 93, Feb 29, 2020
    #10
    Muphy, Kligor and Metis07 like this.
  11. Feb 29, 2020 #11
    Fallacious D

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    The Tim Heidecker trial. That POS obviously killed those poor kids but he got out because of a rigged jury.
     
    Fallacious D, Feb 29, 2020
    Fallacious D, Feb 29, 2020
    #11
    Deadlihood and Deleted Account like this.
  12. Mar 3, 2020 #12
    Deadlihood

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    Thanks for this. Looked it up and just finished watching the highlights.
     
    Deadlihood, Mar 3, 2020
    Deadlihood, Mar 3, 2020
    #12
  13. Mar 3, 2020 #13
    Fallacious D

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    You're welcome. The constant coughing and throat clearing was the best part.
     
    Fallacious D, Mar 3, 2020
    Fallacious D, Mar 3, 2020
    #13
  14. Mar 3, 2020 #14
    MJ Warrior 93

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    How do you say diarrhea in African language?

    ABUNDHA LA CACA!!
     
    MJ Warrior 93, Mar 3, 2020
    MJ Warrior 93, Mar 3, 2020
    #14
  15. Mar 6, 2020 #15
    Overapple

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    I want to change my answer: Lewis black suggesting that all the candy corn ever made was made in 1911 hits me just right
     
    Overapple, Mar 6, 2020
    Overapple, Mar 6, 2020
    #15

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