I try to fail again and again

There is no simple answer, but there are some things that you must do.

• Delete your entire porn stash. Right now, before you do anything else!
• Write down on a piece of paper all the bad things that PMO does to you. For example, PIED will happen; you can't create a real relationship (or you will destroy an existing relationship); it causes guilt and disappointment; it wastes time; you will suffer from social anxiety (if not already); you will make a terrible role model for your future children (if you ever manage to have any); and so on. (If confidentiality is a problem, write them on your phone in a private place.)
• On other piece of paper, write down all the benefits of NoFap. For example, greater sexual health; more time to spend on life; being a great role model; greater confidence; do better at work; and so on.
• Read these two pieces of paper every morning and every evening.
• Contact your ISP and your phone provider, and ask them to block all adult sites.
• Find your passion! Make this a goal. If you already know your passion, make a goal to work towards it.
• Get therapy. An addiction happens for a reason, and then the addiction makes things worse. Therapy will help make you stronger and therefore better able to do your NoFap.

Good luck!

 

same here dude.. trying again and again.

 

Hang in there stay strong!!!

 

It is impossible to stop masturbation for a healthy male with normal sex drive.
Its like saying I will not poop or pee starting today....

Why do people do this to themselves? All you are doing is destroying your own self image and self esteem.
If you want to develop endurance and willpower, run up the stairs of tall building until you cant move, that will do it.

 

So what’s our best course of action?

 

That depends on what you want to achieve.

If your goal is to stop masturbation, lets be honest about what that achieves if you are successful.
You do not feel pleasure, you do not feel orgasms, you may have some self esteem benefits from being able to do something inherently difficult.
Sexual arousal and orgasm plays a big role in regulating mood and hormones, so you will likely also have some problems with mood and hormones, you will also have to deal with intense desire for sex.
Its kind of like being very hungry all the time and not being able to eat.
So I ask what is the major advantage, what is the massive goal - what is the payoff, you get from stopping masturbation, that should motivate people to not do it?
And there is none, if there was a massive advantage to not masturbating - we would be motivated by that benefit.

The reverse it true, our bodies offer rewards for masturbation, because it plays an important role in self regulation.

Masturbation is hard to stop because doing it brings, physical, psychological and emotional rewards.
Eating food is hard to stop because eating brings, physical, psychological and emotional rewards.
Talking to other people hard to stop because it brings, physical, psychological and emotional rewards.
Sleeping is also hard to stop because it brings, physical, psychological and emotional rewards.
Taking a shower is hard to stop because it brings, physical, psychological and emotional rewards.
...

Keep in mind that abuse of any of the above leads to problems, if you take shower for 4 hours a day - you will have problems.
If you masturbate for 4 hours a day you will develop health problems
If you eat for 4 hours a day you will develop health problems

There is some level of equilibrium where we get maximum benefit for minimum effort and that is what we call being healthy.

People have been brainwashed in to wanting something that is inherently not rewarding and does not provide any benefit and wonder why they cant achieve it.
There are myths in sports that athletes did not have sex before events to "save up energy" all of it is complete crap

If you want to do something hard - exercise, take cold showers, those are hard things that are good, they will give benefits.

Sex is always preferred to masturbation, but if you have to masturbate, do not run it in to a hour affair, get to orgasm naturally and move on, back to your life.

 

That's nonsense. Many people on this forum have done just that. You don't have to have an orgasm to live.

That's not to say that masturbation is automatically bad, but it's perfectly possible to stop altogether.

 

Why do you even bother coming on here if you can’t be supportive? Being addicted to masturbation DOES cause problems. Like death grip syndrome interfering with your ability to orgasm during sex for example. Porn and masturbation go hand and hand due to a PMO habit being wired in the brain. To quit porn many people need to quit masturbation as well.

 

I do not come here to be supportive.
I do my best to point to real issues and get people to be honest with themselves and not repeat what they heard.

He is trying to stop masturbation because he believes honestly that it is the cause of his problems, he just decided that it is and he is on a quest.
He is completely confused and has no idea what he is doing and if it will even help him and you want to support him? So he continues to wonder around?

This community should be focused on supporting people who actually have abuse problems, instead it supports every sobbing individual who decided masturbation must be the cause of his issues.
Yes it is easy to be supportive, but it is allot more usefully to be honest.

 

Doesn’t it take effort to masturbate?

Wet dreams are natural secretions but masturbation is not.

@Ronila I agree 100% honesty over agreement. In that same sentiment because masturbation is not instinctive, I disagree with you only on this part...but your points are stirring. Yes —-There is certainly a pleasure and stress release valve intrinsic to masturbation. That’s true. And because it works it brings many to use masturbation to relieve stress. In so doing we sexualize problems that aren’t even sexual.

stress at work? Masturbate.
Stress with partner? Masturbate.
Stress with finance? Masturbate.
Stress about future ? Masturbate.

Ad infinitum.

it matters not why we masturbate it is intrinsically selfish;self-serving and self seeking. It makes us more egotistical in a sense.

 

It’s not that simple. You are clueless and really need to study the harms of porn on society, relationships, and individuals. Masturbation itself isn’t the problem, it’s the porn but they’re interconnected in the brain once you watch porn every time you fap.

 

Yes, masturbation is symptom of stress and other emotional and psychological issues, broad problems with behavior, and stopping masturbation will not help the individual, because it is a symptom, with very few exceptions.
I simply point out that we should direct people to face issues at work, issues with their partner, issues with money, fear of the future and develop solid long term plans to handle them, take responsibility and engage in fixing their lives.
I will support anyone doing that and I know for a fact that once people take ownership and begin fixing their lives, they find meaning and joy in life, and behavior changes.

If individual is depressed and stressed - he/she will abuse, you cant fix them without addressing the reason they are depressed and stressed.

Masturbation is normal behavior and it is highly rewarding and people figured out how to do it on their own and will always do that.
Definition of what is natural depends on what portion of the population does the activity, and vast majority of the population engage in this activity, and did so in the past, by definition it is natural.
Masturbation has been labeled as very bad in the past by religion and most people believed that is the case, it is recently that research showed that that is not the case and opinions gradually changed.
History tends to repeat itself though, so we are going back to resurrecting old beliefs, playing old video games, and eating what our ancestors ate.

 

agree completely. Masturbation under these conditions is more about escaping life than it is about sex. That was my point.

 

The issues is that NoFap reverses the idea on its head, and people believe they have depression because they masturbate and watch porn. And hope to be cure of depression by stopping.

 

It is possible that I am clueless, I have no problem with setting aside what I know and looking at facts without opinions I have formed previously based on my experience and research.
I have done that several times with several people, and every time I do that I am not presented careful study of facts, I am presented with beliefs, as I question further to find the foundations of these beliefs I am attacked for being one of "them" and then discussion degrades to me being called "cummer".

After doing this multiple times, it has become clear that opinions about masturbation and pornography abuse are based on personal beliefs and intuitions.
People feel it is wrong and depressed people feel guilt and shame - so they reject pornography and masturbation.
People with abuse problems intuitively know they have a problem and that spending hours watching porn and masturbating is bad, same way alcohol knows getting drunk and staying drunk for days is bad.

However the reason for why abusive is taking place is not explored, individual makes intuitive assumption that - "maybe I feel bad because I am doing something bad" then they go on to think "what is it I am doing that is bad?" then they recall they feel guilt associated with pornography abuse and masturbation, so they say "I feel bad because I watch porn and masturbate".
Alcoholics do the same, they ask why do I feel so bad? Then they remember that they get drunk and feel that is very "bad", so they assume alcohol consumption is very bad and has to stop.

Alcohol is not bad, abuse of alcohol is.
Porn is not bad, abuse of porn is.
Masturbation is not bad, abuse of masturbation is.

Abuse is a symptom of emotional problems, and we know emotional and psychological problems have increased massively in the last 30 years and completely gone off the rails in last 10years.
Much higher rates of depression and widespread problems with attention deficit, social awkwardness and in general individual isolation is clear indicator that people suffer from emotional problems as much higher rate.
Medical community expects this to lead to abuse driven behaviors, increase in drug consumption, increase in drug addictions, increase in number of patients with mental problems and depression.
And this is exactly what has been happening.

I am not here to bash people, I am trying to show information that may help some work on fixing real cause. Everyone who come here begging for help is depressed out of their mind, otherwise they would not be here.
How is it that they are told to stop masturbating instead of to deal with their depression?

 

Dealing with depression is important, but porn addiction and depression feed off of each other and it’s a vicious cycle. There are proper studies on what porn does to the brain and it hijacks the reward system, which is a factor in the depression of addicts.

 

I started nofap 1.5 years before I hit my longest streak

1. you need to put restrictions on every device to block porn, free access is like a free invitation to relapse (I recommend k9 on all p and nude sites and let a trusted person choose the password and under no cirumstances he should tell you the password)
2. you need to have a vision (for example: picture yourself with a beautiful girlfriend ---> be willing to change for this, go through hell, sacrifice everything)
3. fight like hell, your brain has 2 million years of evolution that sneaky SOB will find ways for his quick dopamin rush
4. use your pain of depression to fuel proactive activity, working out or playing/learing a muscial instrument
5. fight like hell
6. fight like hell +1
7. fight like hell +2
8. fight like hell +3
edit:
9. never lose hope I can absolutly assure you that you will have an incredible breakthrough if you stick your mind to it

 

Depression is lack of interest and that means lack of motivation, lack of motivation is low dopamine alongside few other neurotransmitters.
Normal healthy people enjoy life and because they have stable mood and are highly motivated they do not need consider abuse.
Depressed people do not enjoy life, have unstable mood and end up being incredibly unmotivated.

Wanting to do something, being motivated, comes as a result of dopamine activity and depressed people have this activity suppressed, so they may eat food but not enjoy it much.

Any attempt to change behavior is based on motivation, and depressed people have massive problems with motivation, the very mechanism that motivates is not working properly, depression is by definition - lack motivation.

We know this well, when people are feel down - they do not want to do anything, they become lethargic and watch TV or lay in bed.

What is puzzling to me, is that there is expectation that, these depressed, people who try to find a reason to live are told to somehow magically manufacture motivation and stop masturbation or pornography abuse.
The reason they abuse pornography is because it makes them feel alive, it allows them to feel motivation and good mood, because they do not feel that sensation otherwise.

So abusive behavior emerges naturally from depression, it emerges not because normal healthy individual gets hooked, it emerges because depressed individual is emotionally weak and incapable to of motivating himself or herself to do better.

When something in lifes changed and they get out of depression - they stop abuse, but as soon as depression returns - abuse returns.


Hijacking the brain is common expression, but hijacking means taking over and in context of the brain means loss of control by the individual.
Heroin hijacks the brain, if i take healthy individual and inject with potent dose of heroin - that individual will for the most part be hijacked, and incapable to self control, in presence of others.
If i take healthy individuals and expose them to porn, no one will be hijacked and become incapable of self control, and start loosing it in presence of others.
Pornography affects the brain - it does not hijack it.
Effects of pornography are similar to effects from eating sugar, rapid overall activation of the brain and reward circuits.

 

Porn very well does hijack the brain, you can find information about autopilot on here. Porn is harder to quit than cigarettes, this information is a combination of studies and many testimonies. I am telling you, porn IS a drug.