porn related ED

I'm 60+ days in, the erections are back but still not quite "blowing my mind" level; I think i am getting there though! @fishmatt7 , I think you can take hope from my example maybe!

 

I'm on the same boat man! Let's beat this!!

 

My PIED was quite bad (at least in my opinion). I could not get hard enough to achieve penetration about 50% of the time and very often when I did get hard enough, I'd lose the erection with the most trivial distractions (like putting on some protection). Also there were times when I would achieve penetration but then face DE and then the performance anxiety would lead to loss of erection.

 

Some of the stories on this site are quite inspirational. I have had PIED for 2 years without it even occurring to me that that is what it was. It's probably no surprise that she left me....such selfishness probably shouldn't go unpunished. But my shame of not being able to show her my love, made things progressively worse....I wish I'd found this place 6 or even 3 months ago and had woken up.

 

I understand completely what you're saying. My ex is beautiful, everything I wanted in a woman. It made me EVEN more ashamed that she couldn't turn me on because I was already, when I met her porn addicted. I'm embarrassed to say it but even the measly few times I did manage to make love to her, I was really making love to a picture in my head of my previous ex....How fucked up is that? I realised it wasn't right then, but even then couldn't recognise or pinpoint an actual issue or what to do about it. So I let it fester for 14 months...with the inevitable consequences. I'm sure that from an arousal point of view at least, nofap will set us on the path to a real sex life.

 

I think you might be right @fishmatt7 . We can only hope and stick to our guns....

 

Yeah @rich same with my past SO. We tried twice but ever since the second failed attempt, I haven't talked to her much. She said we could try again, but at that point I knew it probably wasn't going to happen so I told her I wanted to hold off. It's really shitty cus I don't have closure. I could get over ending a relationship after having some rough patches, but I basically ended it when it was at its peak because I just couldn't give her what I wanted to.

And that is why I'm doing nofap.

 

I'm really sorry to hear that @Dan1 , it's incredibly an difficult situation to find yourself in for sure. Words don't really do it justice, so please forgive me if I sound like I'm underestimating your pain. I'm not. In many ways I wish I had your courage in not going forwards....But the love and care she gave me filled a hole in me that nothing else could, fill at that time, not even fapping, so I took the easy/selfish/cowardly way out and sub-consciously ignored my addiction. That way I could have her love and care while ignoring that I was doing little in return....Hear the shame?

I'm doing nofap to become a man again. So I might be able to give something back to her, or another woman. PMOing has totally demasculated me and taken everything.

 

You have a very good reason now to be successful in your NoFap. Anytime you feel any urges to PMO, please go back and read your own post and it should remind you why you are doing NoFap and it should give you strength! All the best to you!

 

Keep in mind, too, that our addicted minds will tell us almost ANYTHING in order to rationalize fapping once again! It's crazy! The #1 threat to our reboot progress is RATIONALIZATION! And it happens all the time.

 

@Buzzltyr I'm afraid that she isn't communicating with me any more and I've pushed her so far away with my HUGE issues that she has found someone better, so I'm struggling with my short term reasons (and long term reasons I guess).