I’m stuck.. I need help!

Do you have a girlfriend or a wife?

 

I think that looking at women the way you describe will eventually lead you to watching actual porn. I hope you can reel it in before that happens. You've made a lot of progress!

 

Have you ever tried celibacy?

 

ok try to quit social media and reddit. no PMO is not your priority, eliminating trigger is

 

Hello Friend,

These dips in progress are rough. We make some much good progress until we slip and think it is all over. I would ask you what are you focusing on all the 101 wins or the 7 loses. Don’t beat yourself up, forgive yourself as you would a close friend then find your center again and move forward. You aren’t beaten you know how to win you have just been knocked off you center that all. You still got this!

 

I call it skirting. I do that. Curiosity leads me to awful places. That's how my brain tricks me lol I think I wonder if this actress has a twitter account. 30 minutes later I've relapsed. I had to put this into my plan. I have to know what to look for when my brain starts to wander and wonder.

 

It's a challenge because we are surrounded by beautiful women and provocative images on a daily basis. For me, it's a matter of if I am going to lean into it,or lean out. As we're always saying here, the first look is involuntary and instinctual. You walk into a room, the mall, a class and there's this woman! And I think "Oh Jeezus look at that!"
The first one is on the house. But every time I look back at her for another little dopamine fix--that's on me. I can't help the first look because I am not psychic. But the second one, third one, fouth one.... all me.

 

Very well put FapistMonk. We must accept there is no such thing as a harmless ogle or lustful thought. Of course these come naturally at times. But we must train our minds to detect the first involuntary look or lustful thought. We are supposed to be different from animals in this regard.

Animals, supposedly, do not have free will like we do. As such they can't restrain their natural impulses. But theoretically and indeed traditionally we are meant to! Yet as this website and community keeps showing many of us fail to do so. The bouncing of the eyes tactic sometimes works for me but not always.

Recognising this I have done some deep work on myself in order to control my senses and urges. This will be a life long process.
Click bait is ubiquitous on the internet. As are billboard porn and its newspaper and magazine equivalents. The simple truth is that sex sells! This will never change so we must fortify ourselves against such triggers. Which I know is easier said than done.

Good luck comrades!

 

I always wonder if there's a way to feel it but not act on it. When I am abstaining, I also find that on certain days, it's as if horniness and desire just wash over me in waves. It comes and goes. I do not act on it. Is it possible to be aware of someone's sexual attractiveness without having to do anything about it? I hope so. It's like energy, like radiation or something. And I always hope I can find some other way to use that energy. When I allow myself to just feel it, I am more able to let it go. But I have to admit it first, feel it first. Don't beat yourself up. Thoughts and feelings arise. It's not like you or me decide what to think and feel in the next second. We don't. We can only deal with whatever comes up as it comes up. Mindfulness is the ability to be aware of changes in mood and feeling without judgment or evaluation. And that's where most of us fall down. Not only do I have the thought, but the next thought is And You Shouldn't Feel This Way!