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Hard time getting over her

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Coco99, Jan 31, 2020.

  1. Jeremi

    Jeremi Fapstronaut

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    Thought you are temporarily suspended bro?
     
  2. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    Not me, you got the wrong guy
     

  3. How bad were the fights my friend? Maybe she had her own problems and you were just perfectly fine. She should of just been patient and committed to you, but she didn't. If she blocked you on multiple platforms then you really need to move on Coco. You could try sublimina's from youtube that make your ex message you back or something like that. I've tried them before and they actually worked. It's all about the law of attraction my friend. If you concentrate hard on something it will attract to you over time. I feel as if you should of just asked your friend to tell her what was up instead of you sending a personal message.


    Me my friend I had a similar situation and your not alone. I had a relationship back in late October to November. This B*tch confessed her love to me online and I admitted that I still had feelings for her or I just gave in because I never had a woman confess to me like professionally speaking. We dated online for about a few weeks and I told my friends and family about her, but I asked her a few times and she didn't tell anyone. Of course I got upset.

    Next thing I know she played a good one on me. She said she really liked me and that she wanted to "see" me in March this year. Apparently she blew one up on me and said the ticket prices were "too" expensive. I could of said I'll come to see you then. But I felt upset that she pretty much fell out on me. We ended breaking things off, we were fine for two weeks then she got a boyfriend from my same country which angered me. Thing's went down hill. Hate started to climb between the both of us. I felt betrayed man...

    Best thing about it now is that.. He has already met her and they're engaged with a promise ring. I'm hurting every day man.. I'm understanding how you feel...
     
    Metis07 likes this.
  4. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

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    There are a lot of women (men also) who have many ‘boyfriends’ at the same time irl and online dating makes it much easier to do such thing. What can be better for such women’s ego than some guy who is fallen deeply in love with her? And she can have one to pay for her in restaurants, another one to wash her car, another one to write her some romantic stuff online, another one who f*cks her and they all can be replaced by someone new easily (except probably the last one, lol). So it’s better not to fall for ‘I love you’ stuff, don’t let you imagination create you images of you aging together in love and harmony (I think true love (not just some hormones running) can only be found after you go through a lot of bad stuff together as a couple). Don’t imagine such thing because you will be shattered one day.
    It is hard but it is much better to see and analyze what is important (especially at the beginning): her actions towards you (how she treats you, is it at least around 50/50% investment in relationship), her family (if she has grown up in a full family where her father was much respected) and her past relationships (best case - none).
    No hatred towards women (there are bad as there are good), we are responsible for our choice.
     
    Coco99 and Deleted Account like this.
  5. MJ Warrior 93

    MJ Warrior 93 Fapstronaut

    Try watching some of Dan Bacon's videos (if you still think about getting her back). In my opinion, he knows pretty well about relationship problems.





     
  6. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. I do feel much better from the time I posted this. I now realize that its not worth it, especially if she blocked for such a long time. We broke it off in October and typically if you are mad at someone you may block them for a week or 2 but then unblock. I'm now at a point where I am slowly becoming a little happier everyday, I still crave her sometimes because I think of the potential intimate moments we could have had and this is a bad way of thinking. As men when you are single our thoughts about sex and intimate moments run wild. I haven't tried to reach out to any girls for the 1 month, hoping to get back into the dating game sometime in March
     
    Metis07 and Deleted Account like this.
  7. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    I have tried the no contact rule from November to January 30th, for 2 months and I reached out to her. I found out that she unblocked my number because the rings were going through and I texted her a long message saying I was being extremely possessive and that I would come out of this better because of what we went through. I didn't really say I wanted her back or anything.She didn't respond to my call or my long text. Before I was hoping the no contact rule would work. Now I don't have that mindset of counting days thinking"maybe she will reach out if I give her distance". Although I'm not 100% healed from this I am probably 75% there now.
     
    MJ93 likes this.
  8. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    I hear you. I have now realized that the whole online thing should be kept short until you actually meet the person and go out on a few dates. What sucks is your mind wonders off about the potential fun times the 2 of you could have had if you met. That's the hard part for me, because I imagined how it would be to meet her, make out and spend time together. I lost myself in that mess.
     
  9. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    This is so true. Imagination can be a killer and you should never let your thoughts get to your head without fully exploring your partner.Sometimes its hard to separate expectations from reality.
     
    mana95 and Metis07 like this.
  10. That's how I screwed up most of my past relationships. I day dreamed about the future about sex or spending perfect moments together, when they most likely won't be. Especially when you see a super attractive woman that has a essence about her and a fragrance that spreads for a mile. To be true you don't know the inside. But the man is wired to see the out. You don't know her past or how crazy she is, even if you bring out the good with her at first. Relationships always have some sort of flaw like with money or greed. Or if their just plane awkward or ignorant like this girl was..

    There's a girl at work I know likes me. But she is weird, when I mean weird yelling random things out loud and talking to her self and her food. At first I liked her, but my co workers kept on telling me how weird she was and now I understood.
     
    Coco99 likes this.
  11. ELITE2BE

    ELITE2BE Fapstronaut

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    Just focus on your growth as a human being, the long awaited lady shall come when time is ripe.
     
    mana95 and Coco99 like this.
  12. AfricanSunset

    AfricanSunset Fapstronaut

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    It is a bit insulting to say all women are the same, dont you think?
     
  13. leetspeak

    leetspeak Fapstronaut

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    You ever hear about Brad Browning? What you think of him?
     
    Coco99 and MJ93 like this.
  14. leetspeak

    leetspeak Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if someone in this thread already helped you out (I haven't read the whole thing word by word), but I'll offer you some tips that can help.

    I actually was in a similar situation to yours. I tried to get over a girl for many years, and it sucked. The real problem imo isn't that you want to, but you don't know what steps to take to do so. So here's what I did:

    - removed her phone number from my cell
    - blocked her on every social media I had access to (LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Viber, etc.)
    - removed any and every picture of her on my computer (yes you have to do that, you also have to resist downloading pictures of her from anywhere and everywhere on the Internet, which is difficult) (you can even go to an extreme and filter out the web for any page that has her name on it)
    - don't even bother contacting her, you might get tempted but you have to resist at all costs (from my experience nothing ever goes back to what it was before. now whether it gets better or worse is obviously a case by case, but again...my assumption is that it goes for the worse - maybe I'm cynical)
    - if I knew anyone on social media that had photos with them in it, I removed them from there too (not to say cut contact completely, but again the idea here is emotional damage control)
    - over time, you need to make peace with the fact that it'll be hard to overcome. You might not even beat it out completely, but so long as its manageable and liveable at least then that's fine.

    Honestly, I might have wanted to get this person out of my life more than anything. And maybe some of these methods are extreme, but it's been incredibly useful and helpful to me. I don't really regret trying to make this kind of purge (truth be told it was alot of unnecessary emotional baggage).

    But if any of this advice helps you move on and get back on your feet (if that is what you want), you won't regret it.
     
    mana95 and Coco99 like this.
  15. MJ Warrior 93

    MJ Warrior 93 Fapstronaut

    I've seen some of his videos. He's really good too.
     
    Coco99 likes this.
  16. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    This is great advise. She actually beat me to the whole blocking thing, she blocked me on everything. I have deleted all her pics and deleted her number. I was checking her instagram through google as it was an open profile for sometime but now I have stopped this as well knowing its not worth my energy. I certainly do feel much better, I think its just the fact that I was lonely after the break up which kept getting me to keep checking on her.
     
    mana95 likes this.
  17. mana95

    mana95 Fapstronaut

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    Hey friend, dont think you are lonely forever. You will find a most suitable satisfing one soon. There are lots of girls out there. The only problem that we dont interact with them, or do you think loosing nuts good. It makes us weaker with sex or with porn. no matter, Stay strong. You are in correct track doing nofap.
     
  18. Sargiel

    Sargiel Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like a bad case of oneitus - you have my sympathies. I would recommend checking out some of the red-pill stuff on youtube and you'll start to understand better where you went wrong and what you need to work on personally to avoid this trap in the future.
     
  19. mana95

    mana95 Fapstronaut

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    Red pill stuff ? What are they ?
     
  20. Coco99

    Coco99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. You are right, the more girls you speak to the easier it is to let go. NoFap has definitely helped helped. Fapping after a break up is the worst thing you do.
     

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