Escort challenge

Hey guys,
I haven't checked in here a long time, so i tought i say hello. Im goin to the local SLAA meetings and getting more new friends in recovery. But the grip of addiction is still hard around my neck (or penis i guess). There is a huge trigger person for me when it comes to hookers. Today i've found her on the internet and i was triggered in very deep levels before i could be triggered more. Some mantras and meditation is pulling me out of the deep water, but it sucks. Slowly i start to see that this is gonna be a long and hard fight. I knew that already but did not sink in a way that it sinks in now. Anyway im grateful for my community in the fellowship and also for this forum: it is good to meet and talk to people who understand me in a way i want to be understood (without judgement or stigma). Where i can share intimate things. Thank you

 

Well, I hope everyone is good. March is already here and I was clean for the February challenge! Whose up to staying clean this month of March?

I’ll put myself up to the challenge to see no escorts or prostitutes this month!
Been a little tempted lately but I’ve got that momentum and can’t turn back now!
Been a while since I been this sober, no way I’m going to jeopardize what I have going for me now!

 

Hey guys,
I am back. Humbly I knock on Recovery's door and ask permission to enter ... I need to walk again on solid ground, without crutches, without hookers, but with a clear and pure mind. I take the challenge and say: As from today until the end of March: No paying for any sexual service.

And ... I hope you are all well and doing fine. Stay strong and thrive. Yeah!

 

When there is an exchange of money, nothing can be genuine. I am renting a woman's body for my own selfish enjoyment.

If she orgasms (never know if she is faking it), then that it to raise my own sexual prowess.

If she wants me to call her again, she is simply seeking my repeated business.

 

She's faking it. Do you really believe that she finds you sexy? Prostitutes have only the lowest regard for their punters. All their displayed joy in seeing you is fake, apart from the fact that you're about to pay them. She'll fake an orgasm to make repeated business from you.

 

Absolutely true. We see that in the results of research into the field.

Again, absolutely true. A worker is not "less" because he or she works in this field. That would be an awfully judgemental thing to do, and you're right that some intolerant people do judge in that way.

I don't like to support the industry, because it encourages the problems that these unfortunately workers (mostly women) suffer.

 

I want in. I need to get away from porn and from seeking sex through escorts. I’ll be going through the messages on this thread and I hope you welcome me as I seek to break my old horrible ways and fill my life with better things.

 

Thank you! I will read through the posts tomorrow but now I must sleep. I’m just putting it on the record that I will not seek the company of prostitutes tonight and waste my money and destroy my recovery progress. I’m fucking tired of my shit and I want out of my old ways in life.

 

Yeah, it really is not worth it, hardly ever was in my case. Would we go to the same restaurant over and over again where the waiter/waitress may well be polite and seductive but the food tastes shallow and rotten???

 

I'm so bad with analogies, is that the right word analogies? Ya tip that waitress over escorts 4sure!

 

Hoping everyone is doing great. Been doing fabulous myself. It's very important to quit. It's been maybe 3 months now since I last seen one. I am so much better and it's been a long time since I been this far. I'll soon beat my record of 108 days maybe 1.5 years ago. So I really want you guy's to not give up. And newcomer's welcome!

I've been finding out who I am more and more as the days progress and I remain clean. Also w this corona virus you don't want that. But I'm doing it for me, for my mom and family and hopefully the new girl i been talking to and to be that man she needs in her life. Who I want in my life. We got to represent what being a real man is about. And giving it up by paying isn't anyway manly. Let's get control over this.
Because you may be with your wife or someone one day having sex. And your addicted to your organism and your not focusing on what is more important then getting your rocks off. Your sex will always be less satisfactory then what it could really be.
Let's do it guys!

 

WooooHooooo! Thanks for the encouraging shares @GA93JDeereboy and @need4realchg. And good strategy not to wear glasses ... made me chuckle. Thanks.

 

Been almost a week since I last seen an escort. Never again. What a terrible person I’ve been. Glad to find encouragement on NoFap and not more shame than I already have. My finances are still shit and I need a lot of brain rewiring but at least there’s hope for me.

 

Hey, great decision to stop. Never again, you say. Well ...that‘s huge for an addict. It usually overwhelms me and I relapse. My addicted brain doesn‘t know the term never in relation to quitting.
In Twelve Steps I learned to take it one day at a time. That to me is more helpful. It is doable and if one day I relapse I didn‘t break my commitment of „never again“. The self-loathing is gentler. And shorter. I do not feel like a total failure. But start again, each day is a new day, a new chance.
To stop is one thing, usually „easy“ when desperate. To maintain sobriety that is ... the real challenge. One day at a time you grow in strength and confidence. Stay tuned, check in here regularly to share your whereabouts and: Good luck.

 

And remember your addicted mind will try to make the fantasy more erotic then it actually is. It will never be enough. If you need help pm me, been 3 months clean myself, about to finish up March clean as well!

 

Well fuck. I PMO'd this morning. Tried calling hookers up to get laid but never made an appointment. Didn't lose my money but that's not the point. I gave in to my selfish, destructive behavior when I should've ran for the hills and focused on recovery. I'm being very careful now to follow my strict sleeping routine and not succumb to the Chaser Effect. Sorry guys At least I know what it felt like to be free for a week. Much better than before and I want to keep going.